When we were sort of trying in the days before Theo, I had a number of chemical pregnancies. Everyone kept telling me, "oh it's just bad eggs because you are older."

I've done a lot of research since then and multiple chemical pregnancies is not about egg quality. There are three likely causes 1) thin uterine lining due to an estrogen deficit. 2) overactive NK cells 3) HLA homology between the parents-- specifically HLA-DQA.

I am so bothered about what my problem was that I looked at the HLA segments in my and my husband's 23 and me. Turns out we are too similar in HLA DQA and this is a known cause of repeat chemical pregnancies. (You kind of need to know a little bit about genetics and interpreting DNA to do this on your own).

Reproductive immunology is just getting off the ground as a field, but there are things you can do to address these issues. Part of me wishes I had pushed harder to figure it all out. IVIG might have solved our issues.

It may be that I was only able to have #1 because I was on an immune modulating medicine at the time of her conception.

Don't hesitate to push for immune testing or referral. It might just be the answer.