My 3 year really does not like the fact that she's in preschool while her 4 month old sister gets to stay home with mommy all day. What can I do to help her deal with this?
It doesn't help that I have to bring the baby with me to drop her off. I can see how it is sad to see both her mommy and baby sis walk away. Sad face!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Awww. I'm so sorry. 
I have no advice. Is she there all day or does she only go half day since you're home now?
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@mediagirl: Thanks. She goes from 9-3 so it's a much shorter day than daycare. The shorter program is 9-11:45, which is way too short. I spend SO much time dropping/picking her up, with the baby in tow, that this would be all I do all day if she did the half day program.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@Andrea: was she this way when you used to drop her off at the old place? Hopefully she gets used to it and understands that she gets play time with other friends while mommy does boring things like clean the house and feed the baby? 
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Awww, that's so sad! Can you send a photo of your family for her cubby or something, so she can get a fix of you guys, or do you think that would be worse?
watermelon / 14206 posts
Turn it around. Remind her that she goes cause she's such a big girl and is ready to learn some new things. And then say, "4monthold is only a baby and can't go to school like you can...she has to wait until she's big like you."
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@mediagirl: no, it was much better because DH dropped her off on his way to work since they open at 7. So I just hope that she'll get used to this quickly. Yeah seriously .... she is not missing much at home!!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@looch: That was a suggestion on my other thread, but I think she does better with out of sight out of mind? She's probably fine for the majority of the day after drop off. She seems happy when I pick her up.
@Dandelion: I said that to her yesterday so I'll keep saying that!
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
Aw she's jealous-what if, one day you keep her home and show her how boring it is, lol. I bet she misses her friends then!
squash / 13199 posts
yeah I like the suggestion by @Dandelion: I was the younger one and my mom would always say things like that to my older sister so then I couldnt wait to be older to do all the "fun big girl things"
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@blackbird: She was home all of last week with me and the baby. I guess I had too much fun with her. Haha. I need to make myself more boring!!!!
watermelon / 14206 posts
@Mrsbells: @Andrea: I have to say that to DS and he's an only child! He says he wants to stay home with the cats, haha. Then I tell him how much smarter he is than a cat and he'll miss out on XYZ if he doesn't go. I tell him the cats have to stay home and never learn anything new, lol.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@Dandelion: LOL. Oh boy, you really have to get creative with these kids!
grapefruit / 4120 posts
My older one is only 2 but whenever he starts in on telling me that he's a baby (he says it a WHOLE LOT), I start to tell him all the things he can do because he's a big boy, things the baby can't do. Like ride his bike or eat cupcakes LOL. Usually by the time we get around to discussing cupcakes and donuts, he agrees to be a big boy.
I don't know if it would make it worse, but can you have someone watch the baby for a little bit and maybe pick up your older kid at school and go for a hot chocolate just the two of you? Some special time together.
I am noticing how much sugary food is involved in my parenting adivce LOL.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@sloaneandpuffy: LOL. I think I just saw a headline the other day "Jillian Michaels says do not bribe your kids with food!" Sometimes I forget and do it, too!!
I was thinking of getting a sitter so I could leave the baby at home for a few times. But then I was worried what would happen when I need to start bringing the baby again?? I kinda just want her to know that this is the routine and that she has to get used to it rather than give her too much special treatment. Sigh, I don't know ....
cherry / 224 posts
Just a suggestion, I think she realized that there as been a change in your relationship with her in that you now spend more time with her baby sister and not with her. I see this a lot when a new sibling arrive in the family. The older sibling will go through a phase of sadness/rebellion/tantrum for attention. You might want to involve your older dd in helping you with her baby sister, it will make her feel important and at the same time, you are meeting her needs. Also, make sure to have some alone bonding time with your older dd, without the baby, perhaps have your dh look after the baby while you do this.
I know it is sometimes difficult because your newborn needs more of your attention since she is not as capable and able to just yet. You can use this as a topic of discussion for your older dd so it might help her understand why you spend more time with the little one and not with her.
Good luck!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@VanillaBean: A friend of mine with 3 kids had all of these same suggestions, too! I've been trying them out for the past month or so. However, now I'm wondering if I've spent too much 1:1 time with her. Is this possible?? We had a ton of bonding time last week so now I'm wondering if this has actually made leaving me for preschool harder this week!
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