Any experience paying a parent or family member using your FSA?
squash / 13208 posts
They would need a tax ID number I assume since I have to submit my DCP's tax ID number in order to get reimbursed
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@Mamaof2: online I read a tax ID or SSN to pay taxes. The taxes seemed to be the only thing that I could find as an eligibility requirement. I really feel like I'm missing something like training requirements.
The tax savings illustration on my end seem worth it, but I doubt my mom would appreciate having to pay taxes on this money.
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: would you save enough to pay her tax on the money too?
@Mamaof2: calculating her tax impact would be helpful determining if it makes sense to cover it...off to do more calculations
pomegranate / 3565 posts
I've never done it so that my mom doesn't have to worry about the tax implications.
@Mamasig: how much is GrandmaCare saving you vs your most vs your second best childcare alternative? Did you create a contract outlining things such as time off notification or baby's day reporting?
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: When my mom was just watching my older son, it wasn't saving me any money. I didn't do a ton of research on daycare options and pricing because I knew she would be taking care of my son. I was also ok with paying her because she was giving up her job to do this. From the little research I did, I'm paying her the same or slightly more than I would pay a daycare around my house (suburb). However, I do think I pay her less than I would pay a daycare near my work in the city. But here are the positives that made me ok with that:
1. She came to my house so I did not have to get my son ready in the morning to go anywhere.
2. She fed him breakfast when she got to my house. I basically just entertained him while I got ready until she got to my house. That got easier as he got older. And sometimes he'd still be sleeping when she got there. Not often because he is an early bird.
3. Because he didn't go to daycare, he really rarely got sick his first 2 years of life.
4. I knew he was in good hands while DH and I were at work. It took a lot of worrying off of me.
So now that I have DS2, she watched both of them for a couple of months and I didn't pay her any extra. Now I would have had savings. But I enrolled my older son in preschool so there went the savings!
We don't have anything formal or in writing. She does what I ask because she knows I'm the mother. Sure, she spoils them, but I'm ok with that because she listens to what I think for the really important things. If she needs a day off or needs to leave early, she tells me in advance. That way we can schedule it around when either DH or I have off or I'll take a vacation day. The only time it is hard is if she gets sick. You can't really plan for that. I just end up taking off but I have a job that is somewhat flexible so I can do that. And honestly, it's only happened a couple of times.
In the beginning with DS1, I used to ask her to write down when he ate and slept, but honestly she'd forget a lot. And he was just a catnapper and doesn't need a lot of sleep so it didn't matter. With DS2, I never ask. I'm just so much more laid back now.
Sorry for the novel, but hope it helps.
@Mamasig: thanks for sharing your experience. That was helpful. My mom is already retired. I would not have been able to cover her salary as she made more than me. So far, she has asked for me to just cover the cost of gas as she lives 45 minutes away. Even though I plan to pay her more than that, she will save us 50-60%.
How often did she stay to eat dinner with you & your family? Even with such cost savings my biggest hesitation is having my mom over all.the.time.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
So, my parents take care of my son, they've been doing so since he turned 2 and he'll be 4 in December.
I have never paid them, they wouldn't accept it, but in terms of cost savings, I've never actually done the math. I was paying for full time day care, about $300 a week, and now my son's in preschool. They function as his before and after care, as preschool is from 12-3. On that, the cost savings is about $13k, if I compare the cost of my son's program with the full day program.
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: In the beginning, she rarely stayed over. She lives with my sister and would go home to help her cook, etc. Now my sister is separated and barely cooks anymore. Her kids are in after school activities, etc so big dinners aren't made. Now mom stays every day to eat pretty much. But, she does a lot of the cooking for us! So yes it's sometimes hard having her over all of the time, but she helps SO MUCH that I get over it.
Is this your 1st? Before I had kids, my mom got on my nerves a lot. But that changed after my older son was born. As a mom I relate to her more now. I also appreciate her more and see how much she loves and cares for my kids. I thought that we would argue more but we don't. I'm very thankful it's worked out.
@Mamasig: yes, this will be my first. I'm in the TWW now.
@looch: they watch your son at their home correct? Do you all ever have mid-week family dinners?
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: good luck!
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: after my 2nd came my MIL offered to watch her for 1 year - I wasn't sure we could afford 2 in DCP so we took her up on it - she moved in with us and we didn't pay her but in return she lived with us rent free and obviously we fed her.
We didn't have any rules per say but I did ask her to write down bottles/food/diaper change/naps - I was use to having that info from DCP for DS so I wanted it with DD too.
Some days she would eat with us and other days she was exhausted and would go up to her room to relax.
The biggest bonus is that I hate infants in DCP - there just aren't enough hands and at some point your LO will be waiting for his/her turn. I loved that DD had 100% attention from someone who loved her so very much. I went back to work at 12 weeks and that is when my MIL moved in - when DD was 15 months we enrolled DD in DCP and MIL moved out 1 month later.
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: We drop our son off at their house in the morning, and pick him up around 4. My mom takes care of all my son's meals, I bring them a half gallon of milk on Monday morning. I even make my coffee there, that saves me $2.50 a day! My mom will also throw my son's clothes in the wash, he gets really dirty because he like to help outside, this week, G helped my dad take all the plants out of the vegetable garden.
We eat dinner at their house twice a week, T/Th because that's my long commute day.
My mom also has taken my son to the doctor, when he's complained of a problem and I am on my long commute day and my husband has meetings.
pomelo / 5132 posts
My mom watches my son three days a week, but would never accept money for it. DH drops off in the morning around 715/730, and I pick up when I get off school, so usually 4. We usually stay for dinner 1x/week. It has worked out really well, and we are really grateful. We have a nanny at our house the other two days.
Last school year, my mom had him 4 days and my husband's grandma had him at our house 1 day, but my mom could only do three days this year and LO is too heavy for a full day with his great grandma and the stairs.
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I forgot to mention some of the other perks. My mom does the boy's laundry and even my laundry sometimes. She'll bring her stuff and mix it with mine. If she has time, she'll clean up some. These are all things I don't expect but am thankful for as a working mom. She's one of those people who can't sit still and just relax!
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