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My mom's been watching our kids since ds1 was 3 months old. We've never had an issue and I'm super grateful for it! She's literally our saving grace. When DS1 was a baby and I was an anxious FTM, she listened and went with whatever I asked no matter how little or big the issue! this time around has been easier since DS2 is so easy going as am I this time around!

I know I had to but honestly nothing specific comes to mind. My mom was awesome at Grandma-care! She tried really hard to adhere to what I wanted her to do and was really communicative.

Oh, just thought of something. I really preferred that she nap in the PnP but my mom would usually lay down with her. Now that we've moved I am glad they had that special time ️

I guess it depends what the battles are, some are still worth fighting, even if they are with family, you know?

My parents took over care for my son when he was 2 when I went back to work, it worked out well because my son was in part time care and it gave them a break.

With my Parents, I trust them so whatever goes. I trust FIL and his GF so no battles. I refuse to let MIL watch kids though.

I had to put my foot down about giving her too much milk when she was an infant (MIL would feed her a whole day's stash of EBM while watching her for 2 hours). Now that she's a toddler, I don't really worry about much. I usually assume she will get terrible naps and tons of cookies, and if I find out otherwise, it's a nice surprise.

I wouldn't call it a battle, but LO is at the age now wherei believe he can understand that he needs to eat his meal or he won't get snacks later. Getting my mom to do this is not going to happen. So.... I'm just hoping that LO can figure out that Grandma will give him stuff but mom and dad won't? But in general I don't think she'll be giving him junk food, it would be more like giving him a lot more options for the meal.
Other than this new development (LO is 18months), I've been so thankful for my mom and she has pretty much gone with what I asked in terms of naps, safety, etc.

I'm pretty laid back so I let her do her own thing for the most part. I'm not worried about schedules or what she feeds them. But she does listen to me about certain things. For example, when we stopped giving bottles she followed my lead. She would have given in and let him have a bottle but since I said no, she respected my wishes. We haven't had any problems.

I'm pretty laid back and for the most part she is willing to adapt to the cloth diapers. The babies are safe and taken care of someone they love so it's great. The nanny we had for a short time was great but expensive. We like to use the nanny for short term.

She is saving us a ton of money and is really helpful now that DH's asthma is flaring up.

But there's things that's starting to bother me. She lives with us for 2-3 weeks every time she comes out so we are so grateful for her. She's been a lifesaver for a few times that I had to go to work and DH was in the hospital.

I really wish I could tell her to reduce the amount of screentime. Though, writing this post (I had a more detailed account on how much screen time the babies get) and I think it might be time to say something. I've mentioned to both DH and MIL about what the drs say.

My mom and dad watch LO two full days a week. If it was occasional babysitting, I'd probably let them do whatever, but because they're with him quite a bit, we've had some non-negotiables, more so when he was younger. My parents for the most part have been awesome about listening to what I want. Now that he's almost 3, the main issue we have is that they let him nap super late and then it's hard for him to sleep at night. I've talked to them about it a few times, and I think they're making an effort about it. Mostly it's pick your battles. I know he eats lots of sugar with them and they let him use their ipad a ton. I've mentioned reining that stuff in, but if they don't, I don't make a big deal about it.

My mom is amazing when she watches LO1, he eats all the crazy things she feeds him (veggies, fish, whatever). My mom has talked about how much fun it is to be the grandma and get to say yes all the time, for her this means things like letting him stand in the stroller, run around the house without pants and holding him for naps. But they have such lovely times together and I think even a baby can understand that things are different with different people.

MIL and FIL dont/wont/can't watch him. Maybe when he's older....

At first I was like "Oh I don't really give my mom any rules I trust her, I'm so easy going!"

then I finished reading and saw "MIL" and realized I don't let my MIL watch our daughter so um... guess that's all ruined haha.

My ILs are the only ones I trust 100% with him. Sure, they don't do things the way I would (they baby him too much, and spend too much time worrying about things I think are stupid to worry about, and they will go to him very quickly if he cries out in the night when they have him without us there), but at the end of the day, when they take care of him it means I am being allowed to have a break, so I keep my mouth shut.

I just make sure they know the basics about general naps/bedtime/eating habits, but if they want to make choices with him that cause themselves more work, oh well. I'll just keep on enjoying my date night and wine.

I didn't feel I could lay down ANY rules with my inlaws the first time around because I was so grateful that they offered to have E three days a week..... I worried myself sick because they used to put het to sleep on their bed when she was a baby but my gentle suggestions that this wasn't a great idea were met with "dont be ridiculous" "calm down" "we know what we are doing". This time around, i have a much better relationship with them and I've been able to set out my rules clearly. Of course, I'm a lot more relaxed about things myself but that sleeping rule is non negotiable - she's going in the Moses basket!

@avivoca: I have this problem with my ILs too... We have totally different ideas of healthy so they always give DD what I consider too much sugar (they think a healthy snack is cinnamon graham crackers and fruit snacks). My MIL used to have her nap on the couch so she (MIL) could watch adult TV shows and cuddle DD. I had a terrible time sleep training and it would undo all my work when MIL let her do that. I try to have her stay with them as little as possible because they have no concept of respecting my authority as a parent.