Firstly, I wish we had a secondary infertility board. I hate to bitch about my own infertility when I have a child. I don't really think it belongs here, so I'm sorry. I totally don't subscribe to the idea that secondary infertility is as bad as just plain old infertility.

Anyway, we've been NTNP for the last 16 months with no dice. More on the trying side lately. I conceived my daughter after 4 rounds of clomid, but my midwives don't want me to take it again until I'm done breastfeeding. And since I'm not sure I'll get to do it again, I'm not willing to cut off my daughter before she's ready.

Every month I find some reason to think that I'm pregnant, and then turn out not to be. This month it was waking up at 4am dizzy and throwing up. I'm sure it'll just turn out to be the same nothing it always is. You know how it goes. I just feel like such a failure of a woman for not being able to get pregnant like everyone else can.