http://infertility.answers.com/coping/the-5-stages-of-grief-during-infertility
What stage are you at?
I don't think I'm at the stage of acceptance, yet. I think I'm cycling between denial, anger & bargaining.
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The article helps to validate my feelings about my infertility... a lot of times I felt like people never took the diagnosis as seriously as I did, and it made me wonder if I was overreacting. I'm sure there was some overreaction involved, but if it was a big deal to me, it's a big deal, dammit!
As for applying the five stages, considering the fact that there are often (not always) more treatments you could try, it's pretty hard to get to the "acceptance" stage. I don't think I ever did. I fluctuated between bargaining and depression, I think.
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I think I fluctuate between anger, bargaining, and depression. I'm not sure I'll ever make it to acceptance.
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I balanced between anger, bargaining and acceptance - depending on where I was in a cycle, treatment, etc.
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I think anger, bargaining, and acceptance for me. I am the type of person that holds on to a grudge, so I will always be angry about having to go through all this to get pregnant. I was a bit unsure of what bargaining really meant, but if it means I'm stubborn and will do anything, then that's me. And acceptance, as in this is life and I will deal, then yeah, I've accepted this as a part of how my life is.
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I never ever thought I would be here, but I think that I am finally at acceptance. It definitely took me 3 years to get to this place though. I definitely still go through periods of anger/depression (especially after IVF 1 failed, and my m/c after IVF #2), but I am in a much different place than I was a couple years ago.
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I'm definitely at acceptance. I know I've already said this but I feel at peace and no longer feel angry or sad at our IF diagnosis.
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I'm at acceptance. It's just a part of my life. Sometimes I slip back into depression.
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I was at acceptance before the miscarriages.
Now I'm back between anger/depression.
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Anger
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So... I just read (and shared on FB) this article about dealing with the trauma with infertility. I think that it's really affirming that until you have resolved your infertility you're just in total limbo all the time.
Even after having our sweet boy (who I wouldn't trade for anything!) until our family is complete I won't feel like I will be at 100% acceptance and ability to move on. http://blogs.psychcentral.com/after-trauma/2014/11/infertility-is-trauma-physical-and-emotional/
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@Mrs. Pinata: limbo is a great way to describe it. My life feels so unsettled.
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@Leialou: Yes! Totally!! Hugs!
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@Mrs. Pinata: That's a great article. Thank you for sharing!
I feel that it validates my feeling that while I've reached a point of acceptance (of the fact that we are having difficulties), I'm unfortunately vacillating between bargaining, depression, and, rarely, anger, depending on where I feel I am in terms of resolving this existential crisis. 
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@FliegepilzHut: Yes, agreed! I can reach acceptance that we're having issues, but it will take a LONG time for me to "accept" not ever getting pregnant! I'm definitely not there yet and can't imagine being there.
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@Mrs. Pinata: Yeah...I've made up my mind on this one. I'd like to raise one or more kids *#@! it!!!
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@jaguar: I feel like the miscarriage definitely did bring up more of the depression, and I have felt some anger too recently. *hugs*
@Mrs. Pinata: Yes, it really is constant limbo.
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@Mrs. Pinata: Yup, you nailed it. That's how I feel. I accepted that I have IF, but I don't know if I will ever be okay with it.
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@Mrs. Pinata: Thank you for that article. It's wonderful.
@Sunshine1810: YES! I was totally fine with IF, accepting that's what we need to get pregnant.... and now I'm back in a dark place.
Even after having our sweet boy (who I wouldn't trade for anything!) until our family is complete I won't feel like I will be at 100% acceptance and ability to move on. 
I feel that it validates my feeling that while I've reached a point of acceptance (of the fact that we are having difficulties), I'm unfortunately vacillating between bargaining, depression, and, rarely, anger, depending on where I feel I am in terms of resolving this existential crisis. 
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18 comments