Backstory: we just moved to a new area several months ago for my husbands job. This meant that I gave up my job because of the move and was a sahm for a few months to settle us all into our new home. But now I feel like it's time to go back so work so the job search begins!
Our LO is 1 and we have found a daycare that we really like however, I was hoping to put him in for 1-2 days a week so I could job search/ interview (hopefully!) and that would ease him into daycare so that it won't be as much of a shock when he is there full time.
Here's the issue, the director at a facility we looked at advised or going part time at all and just going straight to 5 days as she said part time would be too confusing when we change to full time.
I'm not sure if this is true or she is just trying to sell a full time place.
Does anyone have any experience with easing a LO into daycare or going part time? Has it been confusing or has easing your LO in made the process smoother or harder?
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I've never understood this - wouldn't weekends be confusing then?
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I've heard the same thing from daycares in my area. I live abroad where the cost of daycare is minimal compared to the US. So I'm assuming it has something to do with an easier transition into their routine. But LO isn't starting daycare just yet, so I'm curious to hear responses.
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@daniellemybelle: I know !
I guess I just feel like at his age going from being with me all week straight to 5 full days away would be more jarring than easing him in. (It is possible that I am the one that needs easing in!)
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We eased in, every day, but half days until lunch, then adding lunch then adding afternoon nap.
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We started daycare at 13 months. We eased in for a week every day starting on a Monday with an hour or two, till Friday, when we left her for the morning and lunch. Then we started full time on Monday, but I dropped her off around 9 and picked up at 4. She was there from 7:30-5 from then on. She's done great — but she did fine during the whole transition period too. I would do part-time. When you get a job and have a start date, maybe the week before let him go for the full week and see how it goes.
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We started at 15 months, and she goes to daycare (run by a friend she knows) m, w, and f and with MIL on T, Th. It was a tough transition for many reasons, like day weaning at the same time, but I will say that when our schedule gets thrown off a day or two due to snow days or holidays or whatever, she has a hard time with it. But weekends don't bother her. She likes the routine. I started work in September.
I say do whatever you are comfortable with! You are Mommy and it's your choice whether you ease him in or not!
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Thanks for the advice ladies'
!@tinyperson: that sounds like a good plan to put him in for a full week beforehand I start back. @bpcmarj: I agree! I am his mom so I feel like I can judge what's best for him. I guess I just don't want to be blinded by my worries for his adjustment!
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Over the holidays with the way they fell this year, my daughter was at daycare for a day or two, then home for a day or two, back at daycare for a day or two, home for a day or two. This went on for about 2 weeks. It was really frustrating. It was mostly our fault because of the holidays we weren't sticking to her normal schedule.
I think if you are willing to follow the daycare schedule on the MWF you are home with him that transitioning to daycare on TR shouldn't be that hard. Make meal and nap times match what they follow.
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@Aimed: I agree with your center about FT being an easier transition than PT. My LO was 13 months when she started. The first couple of weeks she went PT. It was awful during every drop off. It wasn't until she started going FT that I could see improvements at drop off.
ETA: if you opt for PT, your best bet is half days as opposed to your LO only going on certain days. Every day for half days will be easier for your LO than full days a couple of days a week.
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My daycare doesn't even offer part time slots to children under 2. It's for their benefit though, not the childrens. They just don't want to have to juggle part time schedules and they want full tuition from all families.
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My LO isn't here yet but she is going into daycare just 3 days/week! No one suggested anything against that and I'd be skeptical of any claims that it's a bad idea.
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We started at 18 months going one day a week. He was not having it so we added a second day. He did finally get used to it (took 6 months) and at that point, he had to start going full time. But he had massive separation issues at that time. So I don't think it was confusing he just didn't want to be away from me.
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@daniellemybelle: No, because weekends are already (typically) different from weekdays (different household schedule, both parents at home, etc.).
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@MsLipGloss: But @Aimed: is a SAHM right now so the only difference between a weekend & a non-daycare day for her LO would be Dad is not home. I would think that simply making an effort to keep a consistent routine each day would be enough.
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@daniellemybelle: Mimicking the daycare schedule can't help ease separation anxieties or help LO adapt to different environments. I am not sure what your experience has been with transitioning a LO to daycare, but what I have described is based on my own experience.
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My LO has done FT and PT daycare; and it was a much easier transition with FT daycare (both times - as an infant and as a toddler). When I was discussing PT options with my daycare, they said they strongly suggest doing 3 consecutive days because less then that, and/or non-consecutive days are the hardest for Lo's to adjust to. We noticed a big difference in our LO when she switched from 2 days a week to 3, and even bigger difference when she switched back to FT (5 days a week).
I agree that 2 days a week is a disruptive schedule; I don't think they were trying to sell you a pricer plan. I also notice social differences in the toddlers in LO's class who are PT vs. FT.
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@yoursilverlining: what type of social differences do you notice?
I am curious because eventually in the future i want to work part time, so i am just thinking really far ahead now, but was curious to read the responses here.
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@MsLipGloss: Oh, I meant having a consistent at-home schedule but you got me, I've never done it before, so I'll take your word for it
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@daniellemybelle: That's not what I meant either!
Every kiddo is different, and some do okay with PT and some don't . . . although it seems to me the kiddos that do best are FT or at least go on consecutive days, but there aren't any hard and fast rules when it comes to LOs!
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My son started daycare just before he turned 15 months and we eased him into full-time care over a week (adding an hour or two each day).
I know that for him, PT care would be an absolute nightmare. If we did M, W, F then the lack of consistency would make it difficult for him to adjust. If we did M, T, W, he would have a hard time at drop-off on Mondays and Tuesdays and be ok on Wednesday, and then we'd have to start the cycle all over again on Monday after 4 days off. That's just the type of kid he is though. He is super sensitive to change and likes his routines. I currently work PT (T, W, Th) but we keep him in daycare M-F. This is partly because our daycare only offers PT if we find another family to 'share' the time, because he needs the consistency, and because I need time to do all of my mom and non-mom things!
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@californiadreams: well every kid is different of course, but on the whole, the PT'ers cry a lot more at dropoff and are also a lot shyer/more reserved with the other parents and kids. For example, the 5 or so kids that are FT are really friendly with me every day, they say hi to me (usually they call me "mama" lol), they hug my LO when we get there, they try to hug me sometimes or show me a book or a toy. The PT kids don't do those things as much, especially the 2 girls that are there only 1-2 days a week.
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^^ I have heard this as well, from a lot of different sources!
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LO has always been in FT care, but some of her classmates are PT (MWF or TTh). Some of these classmates adjusted better than others.
If you are able to ease in to daycare, try to do 2-3 days in a row and keep LO's schedule as consistent as possible to the school's schedule to help make the transition easier.
Ex - if LO naps at noon at school, but 2pm at home, and the meal times are different, then it makes it harder for LO to adjust, especially when the schedule changes every day.
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We went straight to FT, no transition days. She did fine. She loves the structure and we found she was frustrated with us on weekends for not offering snacks and naps when she expected them. She started daycare when she was 12 months.
In my experience, the longer parents hang on and give hugs and comfort, etc, the more often the kids cry at drop off. My girl has had times where she didn't want to go, but I firmly believe she is well cared for at daycare and happy once I go, so I briefly assure her she will be fine and send her off and leave.
That works for me. But we are a very "all or nothing" family on some things.
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Thanks for the advice again, I am kinda torn now in what to do. I definitely can see how just going ft maybe better than dragging it out.
Perhaps we will look into having I'm in for 3 days a week for a while as that is a good chunk and would allow me job search time.
Lots to think about! -
Honestly, though, it's not part time or full time that makes my son cry at drop off. He's been going a year full time and he still has mornings where he cries. That is his personality. Once he attaches himself to someone, whether it be me, my husband, my mother (or whoever), he has a difficult time leaving them.
Another more experienced mom clued me in to this. I thought my son would just be fine after a month or so, but it's just not him.
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@looch: thanks for that, I agree that it depends on the child's personality to a large extent.
I spoke to our ped about it during his wellness check and she said that we should do whatever works best in our situation and he will adjust to it as babies have so much change in their lives.
So I feel like I don't want him in 5 days until he has to be so I think that we will do part time for a bit, which will allow him to adjust and give me time to focus on my job search and then transition to full.Thanks for all the opinions ladies, it really helped!
Every kiddo is different, and some do okay with PT and some don't . . . although it seems to me the kiddos that do best are FT or at least go on consecutive days, but there aren't any hard and fast rules when it comes to LOs!
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