DD is in a private preschool. She has two teachers and a few aides that are in her classroom daily. There have been a handful of times when I pick her up her shoes are on the wrong feet, yes she hasn't figured this "mystery" out yet. And yes, I get it, they are trying to teach her and make her learn and they aren't her parents BUT on two of those occasions she got bad blisters on the sides of her feet, bloody/skin off type and they hurt her for a few days afterwards. (and she had scabs for about 1 week each time)
I was going to say something at the conference but the moment never came up and I ended up not saying anything.
Well yesterday I picked her up and her shoes were on the wrong feet again. I asked when she took off her shoes and she said she took them off in the morning classroom to play dress up. SO that is before 9 am. She then proceeded to go through the entire day with them on the wrong feet and even had SOCCER practice that way!!
Am I wrong to think ONE of the adults/teachers/aides should have noticed this and told her???? They don't have to change them for her but tell her!!!
It's the FIRST thing I see. Maybe I'm just more observant but I can tell a mile away if a kid has their shoes on the wrong feet. How hard is it to tell them to correct it?
It really gets my blood boiling but the fact that nobody mentions it makes me think I am over reacting.... so am I??
persimmon / 1023 posts
This happens semi regularly to us as well as the indoor shoes being used outside or vice versa. I feel a bit bad because who would be comfortable in the wrong side shoe?! But DS has never gotten irritation like you describe. I think that’s what makes the difference. I think the daycare teachers are encouraging them to do it themselves and don’t want to jump in to correct what could be seen as a small issue, but blisters are not ok. I would mention it like hey her feet seem sensitive so if you could switch them if you see it, that would be helpful. Or you can try practicing with your daughter. Our son started asking which one goes on which foot so we do that. Maybe a sticker on the shoe on one side for the right foot and practice that with her. But I wouldn’t be afraid to mention it if she’s actually getting blisters! That’s not good.
pineapple / 12566 posts
I do not think this is acceptable. Yes, kids should learn how to put their shoes on the correct feet, but teachers should help them when they do it wrong. I would tell them your child is getting blisters and having pain and you expect them to help when necessary. Another thought is to show your kid how to put their shoes together side by side before putting them on to make sure they are on the right way.
pomegranate / 3355 posts
@muffinsmuffins: she always asks us so maybe that's why she hasn't figured it out yet.. maybe we'll try stickers on one shoe..
@lamariniere: we do try to show her but for some reason we are failing at this particular teaching opportunity! at home she always asks and we try to show her/describe to her which is which but she hasn't gotten it yet.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
To me it seems so strange that if they noticed the shoes were on the wrong feet they wouldn’t help her correct them. Going all day on the wrong foot isn’t teaching her anything. I’d definitely say someyhing because it’s a comfort and health concern.
persimmon / 1390 posts
I would bring it up. I can’t kmagine they’re not noticing it: it’s so hard to miss! They should be helping her learn how to dress herself properly and shoes are part of it.
pomegranate / 3355 posts
@Becky: it's noticeable right?? I mean I notice right away but that's what I'm wondering, if nobody else notices
pomegranate / 3127 posts
Yeah, I'd say something. Maybe they're not noticing, or don't think it's a big deal because they don't realize it's giving her blisters.
kiwi / 656 posts
So I’ll start by saying, it bothers me when I see my son’s shoes on the wrong feet and it’s super obvious to me, too. The blisters would also concern me, and I’d want to fix that problem, but I think my approach would be different, so I’ll be the voice of dissent here, fwiw. My son is at a montessori preschool very focused on self care and which also requires indoor slippers and outdoor shoes, so taking off/ putting on shoes happens regularly throughout the day. At 3, my son still mixes up his shoes occasionally, and sometimes will have them on the wrong feet at pick up. I think it’s a lot to expect teachers who are juggling a lot of needs to prioritize shoes on the right feet, especially when they may not be aware shoes came off at all (because it wasn’t a time everyone was doing it) So I’d tackle it wth the shoes I send her in- my son never gets blisters from shoes on the wrong feet because he is in sneakers with socks. I imagine your DD is in shoes without socks/ probably not sneakers? I’d make sure she goes to school in sneakers with socks so if she puts them on wrong it won’t cause damage. Definitely mention to the teachers to keep an eye on it, but I think being upset at the teachers (v the situation) about it is a bit of an overreaction, to be honest.
persimmon / 1310 posts
I’m guessing they don’t realize it gave her blisters. I’d tell them. I’d also cut a sticker in half and place the halves in the arch of each shoe (so that the sticker lines up when the shoes are placed correctly beside each other.
persimmon / 1310 posts
We also go to a Montessori school, and they will tell a student that they will be more comfortable if they switch their shoes, but they don’t force them to do so (they might if a parent asked). Therefore, I always send her in socks and comfy shoes.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@MrsBucky: I think you bring up a good point about footwear that minimizes blisters. I have a son and he’s always in socks and sneakers. I just bought him toddler sandals/flip flops, but those are for home since daycare suggests sneakers for safety reasons.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
Ugh, HB ate my post.
This wouldn't bother me, and it doesn't. My son constantly puts his shoes on the wrong feet and I'm sure the teachers have given up trying to get him to put them on correctly because he doesn't seem to care.
I'd try to work with your daughter to teach her the correct feet yourself. Maybe try the sticker trick?
pomegranate / 3601 posts
Don't the kids change their shoes between house shoes and outside shoes when you come in and then they go outside? I have a suspicion that things work very differently where we live where kids change shoes all the time (like probably 3 times a day at least) so maybe that's why it seems weird to me that she would be in the shoes long enough for it to be so bothersome to her. I think I would definitely make sure to have her in shoes where it is least bothersome (so soft shoes like sneakers and always with socks) and to help her out by either putting stickers on her shoes or having differently colored shoe laces where each color symbolizes one side. Maybe she would then have an easier time identifying which shoe goes on which foot. I think bringing it up to the teachers at drop off or pick up is also no big deal. Just tell them that you would really appreciate it if they let DD know that she has the shoes on the wrong way so she doesn’t suffer any pain.
pomelo / 5257 posts
@Ajsmommy: The blisters make this a different situation than mine but the shoes being mixed up alone wouldnt bother me. My 5yo DD has worn her shoes on the wrong feet for about a year. Sneakers, cowboy boots, sandals. She refuses to wear them correctly and its not a battle I care to fight. When I pick her up from school if a teacher other than her normal teachers sees me they usually say “the shoes, again.” I talked about it with the director when she first started doing it and she said its very common for kids to prefer the fit and feeling of the wrong feet. Preschool doesn’t encourage it but they don’t force her to fix it either. I assume they would if she had trouble walking on playing or if she complained of pain.
pomegranate / 3966 posts
I think it would bother me but not enough to get my blood boiling. I would definitely mention the blisters to them, and just ask them to keep an eye on her shoes.
My DS constantly has his shoes on the wrong feet but hasn't ever had blisters from it. I'm definitely going to try the sticker trick with him though!
pomelo / 5298 posts
I would comment upon it, in regards to the blisters. My girl does this routinely. At home, she's fairly consistent about asking if her shoes are on correctly. I'm not sure why she doesn't do it at school. My girl went through a thing last summer of taking her socks off and wearing her shoes without them. She had blisters and ruined her shoes (they stunk so bad!). I asked her teachers to keep an eye on her and to try to make sure she kept her socks on. Of course I also had this same conversation with my kid.
The wrong foot thing bothers me, but I don't comment to the staff. I will comment to my kid, ask her to fix her shoes before we leave for home.
Also, my kid is 3.5.
pomegranate / 3355 posts
@MrsBucky: your assumption is correct that she is blistering when she is not wearing sneakers/socks, however she honestly only wears sneakers and socks on soccer day. She prefers to wear other shoes and isn't a fan of socks (she gets this from me.. so I understand it). We let her pick what shoes she wants to wear each morning and she puts them on.. asking us to confirm they are on the correct feet. At school the do not take off and put on shoes at all. They keep the same shoes on all day. However my DD loves to play dress up (teachers even mentioned this in her conf) and I suspect this is when she is removing her shoes to wear the dress up ones and then when it's time to lcean up she is putting her shoes back on by herself. Which she can do.
I guess I just find it odd that nobody is noticing it bc it's so obvious to me. And she'll readily and quickly change them if you just mention it to her. So as some posters note, it's not a FIGHT with her.
anyway, you are right I could avoid this if I make her wear sneakers/socks daily, but I don't see that happening.. that's a fight I don't care to have
@Iced Tea: def going to try the sticker thing and that's all I'd like them to do for DD, just mention it to her and she immediately sits down and changes them....
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: dd has to wear closed toe to school for safety reasons but she dislikes socks and prefers her other shoes 99% of the time
@Adira: I'd agree with you "IF" my dd ignored it when we told her but she doesn't. She changes them. and I'm def going to be doing some stickers in shoes this weekend
@Pumuckl: nope. dd would keep her shoes on all day, even during nap. She electively takes them off during play time sometimes to play dress up.. these are the days I suspect they end up on backwards
@Corduroy: I feel ya.. we're just revered. My DD would change her shoes if mentioned.. and the fight I don't care to have is trying to get her to wear socks/sneakers daily although as pointed out by pp's that would solve the issue!
squash / 13199 posts
@Ajsmommy: I;ll be honest and say I took my daughter to church one day and someone else pointed out to me that her shoes were on the wrong feet! And i had not realized at all! I think this situation would upset only if I had already talked to them about it and it still continued to happen. It could be that they dont notice it, or dont realize its causing blisters. So definitely give them the chance to do better by letting them know it is actually affecting her feet
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Yes, it would bother me! I feel like these are all "attention to detail" things that I look for in providers.
grapefruit / 4278 posts
I mean, it's annoying, but you haven't even mentioned it to the teachers so i'm not sure you can go right to blood boiling.
The first step seems super obvious. Tell the teachers she repeatedly puts shoes on the wrong feet and is getting blisters and ask them to keep an eye out for it. As someone who puts my child's shoes on the wrong feet more than I care to admit, it's not super obvious to everyone.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I wouldn’t have been upset except the blister thing. My kids have never gotten blisters from having their shoes on the wrong feet, so I am guessing the teachers don’t realize she does. I would just bring it up like, hey I know she takes her shoes off a lot when playing dress up and puts them back on the wrong feet. She’s actually gotten blisters from this so I guess she has sensitive feet. Would you mind watching for the wrong feet and correcting her so she doesn’t get blisters?
I love that sticker idea though!
nectarine / 2028 posts
@Ajsmommy: I have a 3.5 year old who constantly puts his shoes on the wrong feet, so it’s no surprise to me that he often comes home from school that way. He’s learning, and in his preschool class of 23 kids where independence is taught, it’s no surprise to me that they really want the kids doing this themselves. I am a former kindergarten teacher and if I saw shoes on the wrong feet at that stage I’d point it out to the kid, but it is what it is. If you don’t want to battle her to wear socks, I’d maybe send her in shoes that don’t blister, or try one of the sticker tricks mentioned above.
eggplant / 11716 posts
@Ajsmommy: I would ask that the teachers try to double check your kiddo's shoes are on right. People have different standards, as evidenced by this thread. I work with kids that are 10-13 years old, and if I line up a class to take them somewhere, and I noticed a kids shoes are untied, I point it out and ask them to tie them so they don't trip or trip someone else with the flapping laces. This is because I'm in a position of power, and some kids would be afraid to get out of line to tie their shoes or to ask to stop to tie their shoes. It's the same in daycare. If they've been told to clean up and go to the circle or something, and the teacher is busy starting the next activity, your daughter has probably realized that it's not a good time to go ask specifically about her own shoes. I can tell you as a teacher, that it's pretttttty common for a teacher to be a little short with a kiddo when they are managing a whole class. Like "Chrissy, I said SIT IN THE CIRCLE" when Chrissy is going up to the teacher to ask a question. So Chrissy learns to not ask.
Teachers are human. They sometimes miss certain things. Think of it as a team--you've noticed she gets blisters when her shoes are on the wrong feet, just simply ask the teachers to check after dress up.
kiwi / 656 posts
@Ajsmommy: I wondered if maybe this was one of those "easier with a boy" things. I get not wanting to fight about shoes- my besties second daughter also has strong opinions about such things, so I know some kids do, mine just happens not to! I'd definitely mention it to the teachers to keep an eye out for, but also as a 4 year old, I'd honestly also explain to her about choices/potential problems. My 3yo is just starting to sometimes get/ connect options with consequences (we talk a lot about what foods help making pooping easier or harder, hahahaha) and I'd imagine at 4 your daughter can make those connections even better! Like, if you wear socks or X shoes you're less likely to get blisters, or if you're not sure about shoes asking a teacher to confirm (self advocacy is such an important skill!), or using the sticker method, etc. Anyway, just some more ideas!
persimmon / 1385 posts
I think I'd have a conversation with both your daughter and the teachers. Since your daughter asks you about her shoes/feet and she's willing to change them, I think you should talk to her about her owies on her feet and the fact that they're caused by her shoes on the wrong feet. Suggest that when she puts her shoes on after dress up to go ask the teacher if they're on the right feet so she doesn't get owies anymore. And then I'd mention it causally to the teacher about the blisters and that you told DD to come ask if her shoes are on the right feet in the future. This is will get her teacher noticing it without sounding accusatory.
pomegranate / 3438 posts
I agree with @kiddosc. I don't think you can go right to blood boiling when you haven't even brought the issue up with the teachers.
I think you need to have a conversation with the teachers. Just tell them hey, I noticed she has her shoes on the wrong feet when I pick her up. Can someone make sure she puts them on right because she gets blisters.
I put my toddlers shoes on the wrong feet and didn't even notice it until we had been out for awhile. Not everyone notices little details like that, especially if the child isn't complaining about something feeling off.
grapefruit / 4455 posts
I would be worried enough about her discomfort to bring it up to the teachers, but I would also be trying to teach her that hey, those sore blisters are what happens when the shoes are on the wrong feet, and I would combine that with the sticker trick from pps to help her double check for herself whether she has it right. It may be that they notice but they don't know how bad the blisters are, so they don't think it's all that big of a deal.
persimmon / 1101 posts
There are approximately 8,000 kids in my daughter's class, so I am not at all surprised when little details are overlooked. What's obvious to us as parents is much less noticeable to others, and I know the teachers have their hands quite full. When I observe a situation like this, I make sure to mention it so that the teachers will know to look out for it. If they don't know, they can't correct it. I've never had a problem that wasn't immediately resolved once I brought it up.
I'd suggest mentioning it at pick-up or drop-off (or both, preferably, so that the word will spread). If it doesn't improve within the next couple of days, that's when I'd escalate the situation.
pomelo / 5563 posts
Picking up my son and finding his shoes on the wrong feet wouldn’t bother me, BUT if it as affecting his feet like that I’d mention it to the teacher and ask them to keep an eye out for it specially.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
This happens in my kid’s daycare all the time. There was another parent who was livid that the teachers weren’t checking her kid’s shoes. She felt it was their responsibility to make sure the kids were safe (in her mind it was a safety issue - more likely to trip if shoes were on the wrong feet). So I don’t think you are alone in how you are feeling. Personally, I think the teachers are using a natural consequences method. If you trip, or are uncomfortable in your shoes, you will learn quicker to put them on the right feet (these are 4 and 5 year olds).
nectarine / 2667 posts
Something that’s really helped my own kids/the kids in my preschool with getting shoes on the right feet is pointing out that the Velcro strap/design/whatever goes on the outside of your foot. Nearly every shoe is styled this way (in Adira’s picture, the Velcro fastens on the outside). I like this better than the sticker trick, because I feel like it’s easier to transfer their skills to all types of shoes.
To answer the original question, this would not bother me at all. If blisters were present, I’d encourage other shoes that wouldn’t blister. But my kids have always done Montessori, which encourages a lot of independence. Also, as a teacher, I don’t always notice shoes and, even if I do, I usually don’t ask the kid to fix it. I feel like, if they’re uncomfortable they’ll change it. However, I’d appreciate a parent letting me know their child was getting blisters and I’d pay more attention to that child’s shoes.
persimmon / 1345 posts
So confession. I can’t tell right away which shoes belong on which feet. I have to hold both up and then see the shape curve. Drives my mom crazy bc I’m a grown woman but I don’t know. Luckily, my LO1 just knew and got it. She points it out when I put the shoes wrong on my two year old.
Sort of skimmed the responses but if the student isn’t supposed to be taking shoes off at school then the teacher prob isn’t looking at their feet. My kids go to a private preschool that I used to teach at and they are not really supposed to take shoes off. A child might take one shoe off at a time to get mulch or whatever out after playground time but that’s about it. So teachers are not really on the lookout if the shoes are wrong or not. I would just ask to keep an eye out
pomegranate / 3230 posts
I think you are overreacting because you have not asked them about it yet.
If you bring this to their attention and they are responsive, then your problem is solved.
If you bring this to their attention and they are not receptive, then yes I think you have grounds to be upset with them.
But you are just getting upset about it without giving them a chance to address your concern. They very well may just not notice. So give them a chance.
persimmon / 1114 posts
I don’t think this would make me upset unless I mentioned it and they had done nothing about it. I would especially give them a pass (for now) because In the situation you described, taking shoes on/off in school is not the norm (ie, it is not a outdoor/indoor shoe place, just something she is doing during dress up) so it is probably not something they are on the lookout for. Mention something and I am sure they will keep an eye out.
pomelo / 5866 posts
I agree, speaking to the teachers if it bothers you too much and then working with your child is the best solution. Fwiw, it annoyed me and made me sad when that happened to LO also.