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Beyond Miscarriage Support

  1. FliegepilzHut

    pomegranate / 3533 posts

    @DesertDreams88: I'm so sorry that you are joining us here. And what a frustrating situation! FX that your m/c is completed without any intervention! Will you try to see another OB in the next few days?

  2. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @DesertDreams88: I'm so sorry you're joining us

    I had a similar situation where I thought it was over, but the sac was still there. It was so frustrating to have to wait when I thought it was over.

    Is there another doctor in the same practice you can see? The ones at mine have slightly different views, so it helped me to deal with more than one and have other opinions.

  3. DesertDreams88

    grapefruit / 4361 posts

    @marym and @Fliegepilzhut: This practice just is one obgyn and a physician's assistant, and she only works 4 days a week. Her guidelines for betas/HCG numbers and doubling, followup ultrasounds after measuring behind, etc. have all been contrary to what I read online.

    So I have two "consultations" scheduled in late Nov / early Dec with two other obgyns I am considering, at two separate practices. I'll get their feedback and go from there, and decide on a more long-term obgyn relationship.

  4. simplyfelicity

    cantaloupe / 6634 posts

    @DesertDreams88: I am so so sorry for your loss. I hope this place can be a support for you. I know that's exactly what I needed...people who completely understood.

    I am sorry for the awful appointment...that's what mine was like when I went in for an ultrasound at 10 weeks and found out it was a blighted ovum. My OB also said to wait 3-6 months but, after pressing her, she admitted that 2 months would be fine. I did a lot of research, talked to others who have had a D&C and most said that one cycle is fine, so that's what we did despite what my OB said. I also checked with my GP who agreed with me.

    The grieving process is complicated with so many twists and turns. One minute you might feel like your whole world is crashing down and, the next feel hopeful about the future. Whatever stage or kind of day you are having, we are here for you.

  5. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @DesertDreams88: I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I don't have a lot of experience, as my last m/c ended in a d&c at 11 weeks.. and my current one has dropping hcg but no bleeding. I hope you can get lots of information here though. x

  6. hilsy85

    squash / 13764 posts

    Hi all, just wanted to jump on here since so many of you have been so helpful in my other thread about D&Cs...

    1. What is your story? Started TTC #2 in July, got a BFP in Sept, went for what should have been an 8 week appt on 10/27, baby only measured 6w3d, but had a faint heartbeat. Had blood work done and progesterone was very low (5), and betas didn't change in 48 hours. Went back for repeat u/s 10/31 and baby only measured 6w1d and no heartbeat. I have a D&C scheduled for Tuesday.

    2. How do you feel today? I feel ok...I really really just want this whole "thing" to just be over with so we can move on to TTC again. I also feel really dumb that I thought a m/c wouldn't happen to me, since I had a picture perfect conception/pregnancy with Lo1. I am also worried because of the progesterone issue with this BFP, and the fact that I had been spotting a few days before my period before my BFP. And finally, I feel kind of awful that I need to carry around what is essentially dead tissue for the next few days until my D&C, and I am terrifed of starting to miscarry at home.

    3. If you have any "next steps" what are they? my OB gave me the number of a fertility specialist because I expressed concern about the progesterone issue, so once the D&C is over, I think I will call for a consultation, just to get more info.

    4. Is there something else in your life you are "investing" in? Not really...I mean, I'm a SAHM so LO1 keeps me pretty busy. And luckily(?) it's now holiday season so hopefully the next several weeks should pass quickly. I just really want to get back to TTC--but at the same time it's really scary

  7. hilsy85

    squash / 13764 posts

    Also, does anyone know how to hide boards? I know I've seen the button before but can't seem to figure it out now...

  8. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @hilsy85: I'm sorry you have to join us too

    Go to your account, click edit, and customize what appears on your homepage

  9. Jess1483

    nectarine / 2641 posts

    @hilsy85: I'm so sorry you are here. Wishing you a quick "end" and soon, a new beginning.

  10. simplyfelicity

    cantaloupe / 6634 posts

    @hilsy85: I am so sorry you are going through this but "glad" you found us. I have said this a million times, but I wouldn't have been able to get through my losses without these awesome women. We also have a secret Facebook group if you care to join.
    If you don't mind, I can answer the question you had for me on the other thread.
    My D&C was on August 11 and my first AF didn't arrive until September 24 (about 6 weeks.) They say it takes 4-6 weeks for AF to return and most of the ladies on this board were at 6 weeks if I remember correctly. We started trying again in October and got a positive at the end of the month.
    My OB told me to wait 3-6 months and I know that is completely antiquated advice, so I did my own research, talked to other doctors, others who had D&Cs and I felt very comfortable TTC after I had my first, natural AF. The answer may be different for other people, but I healed up very quickly and everything with my procedure was textbook.
    I am only 5 weeks and some change but, if this one doesn't work out, it won't be because of insufficient lining.
    Once again, I am so sorry for your loss and we are here for you.

  11. hilsy85

    squash / 13764 posts

    @MaryM: thank you! Just did that

    @Jess1483: thanks

    @simplyfelicity: thank you! My OB said we are fine to TTC after I get AF; I can't imagine having to wait 3-6 months!! Hopefully recovery goes smoothly.

  12. simplyfelicity

    cantaloupe / 6634 posts

    @hilsy85: Thank goodness you have an OB who gives you the "real" answer... I love doing research but I was tempted to ask mine, "ok, so how long should I really wait?" When is your D&C scheduled? Any spotting yet?

  13. hilsy85

    squash / 13764 posts

    @simplyfelicity: Tuesday at noon--it was the earliest spot No spotting at all, thank goodness-I REALLY don't want to deal with any sort of bleeding beforehand, I just feel like that would be really upsetting. And yeah, I was happy with that answer! Depending on when AF comes back, I may O in December which would be great.

  14. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    On waiting to TTC, my doctor said it was usually good to wait a month or two for mental/emotional reasons, but that it wasn't necessary for medical reasons. When your uterus is ready, it's ready.

  15. HappyBluebird

    clementine / 957 posts

    @DesertDreams88: @hilsy85: Sad welcome to our group. I'm sorry for both of your losses, I hope you get some support here from this wonderful group.

    @DesertDreams88: I would think that 6 months seems long if there weren't other circumstances that would need you wait. Maybe the new doctor can give you a better answer.

    @hilsy85: I will be thinking of you Tuesday. I hope your recovery after is quick and smooth. I was very nervous before I had mine (of both the procedure and how I would feel afterwards) but I don't remember a bit of the procedure and my recovery was pretty straightforward and easier than I expected (Physically, emotionally takes a little longer, but thats to be expected)

  16. FliegepilzHut

    pomegranate / 3533 posts

    @hilsy85: I'm so sorry.

  17. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @hilsy85: That fear of losing the pregnancy before my d&c was VERY real. Being 11 weeks, I did NOT want to be losing that baby at home, I just couldn't have done it. Just breathe, and relax, and hopefully you'll be just fine. My current loss is still there (it's only early this time, 5w along) and I'm waiting for a natural miscarriage, and it is THE WORST THING. Urgh.

    We were the same as @simplyfelicity (our d&c's and subsequent cycles were days apart!) so hopefully yours will be similar.

    Ugh, girls. I hate this so much. I'm sitting here, still with pregnancy symptoms, and not so much as a cramp or spot of blood. What the heck? I went off the progesterone pessaries on Friday, and nothing is happening. I'll go get bloods done tomorrow... I bloody hope the hcg is coming down, so at least something is happening?

    I was expecting to miscarry and then have hcg drop fully. But a friend of mine who went through something similar, said she didn't bleed UNTIL her hcg hit zero. Any ideas?

  18. mrs bunchy

    kiwi / 533 posts

    @jaguar: with my first natural m/c at 6.5 weeks- I started spotting at work and got betas drawn the next day.. Then again 2 days later. Fast forward almost a week after the spotting started- I miscarried for 2 days and bled for another 5. That time it hurt like a mother f'er. The second chemical was quick.. And the pain wasn't nearly as unbearable. 3rd time was a D&C after the heart stopped at 7.5 weeks. It was there at 6.5 weeks- so even after that entire week of it still measuring 6.5 weeks; I showed no signs. Dr said peogesterone could prolong it- and with those words I scheduled my d&c.

    Thinking of u

  19. Ifyoulikepinacoladas

    coffee bean / 38 posts

    @jaguar: sorry to just butt in on the thread, but I thought I my experience could be helpful to you. With my 3rd MC I had the same thing happen at 6 weeks - levels just didn't rise after a promising start. I was told on the Friday and was essentially waiting around feeling pregnant, thinking it was never going to happen and cursing my doctors for wanting me to do this naturally. Well it finally happened the following Sunday. On Mother's Day ironically! If there is a fortunate side, a natural MC at 6 weeks is pretty much just a really heavy period. Stock up on the pain relief and have a hot water bottle/wheat bag on hand. And lots of trashy movies. Hugs to you, it's not fair

  20. hilsy85

    squash / 13764 posts

    @HappyBluebird: @FliegepilzHut: thank you

    @jaguar: I am so sorry to hear about your situation...I know that my OB said if I did want to wait for it to happen naturally, it could be about 3 weeks before I started bleeding...not sure how long you've been waiting already. Big hugs!

  21. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @DesertDreams88: and @hilsy85: I'm so sorry to see you've both joined this group and for what you're experiencing. You'll find the women in this group to be so wonderful and supportive. Major hugs.

    I haven't been around as I'm super sick, with I think, bronchitis. I just want to curl up and watch lifetime lol

  22. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @ValentineMommy: I hope you feel better soon. I've been soaking in some hallmark Christmas movies this weekend. I don't know how they continue to get cheesier and cheesier!

  23. HappyBluebird

    clementine / 957 posts

    @ValentineMommy: hope you are feeling better soon!

  24. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @mrs bunchy: & @Ifyoulikepinacoladas: & @hilsy85: Thanks for weighing in ladies.

    I waited all weekend for signs of a bleed, and nothing. All I got were increased pregnancy symptoms, which is a nice slap in the face. (Thank you, universe, who apparently hates me.)

    I'll get hcg drawn today, and see GP tomorrow for bloods and ask for a plan. I can NOT wait three weeks. Every day that we wait, means I'm less likely to be able to squeeze in a fresh IVF cycle this year. Am a mess.

  25. mrs bunchy

    kiwi / 533 posts

    @jaguar: so sorry I say feel however you want to feel. Sometimes I can be completely fine- then later that night let out a good cry.. It's the worst when there are lingering symptoms.. I didn't like the feeling of waiting to m/c. I already felt the disconnect when the heartbeat stopped and even waiting the 2 days before my d&c was emotionally the worst.

  26. DesertDreams88

    grapefruit / 4361 posts

    @Jaguar: I've been trying to finish an incomplete miscarriage on my own with red raspberry leaf, evening primrose oil, hot showers on my lower back, lower back massages, and walking around a bunch. I'd try sex too but doc said no sex for fear of infection, since I am still technically miscarrying. I'm really trying to avoid misoprotol for fear of the pain / symptoms / danger and avoid a D & C because it will cost me about $3000 I estimate.

  27. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @mrs bunchy: I can't even cry yet. I'm so frustrated and angry at my body, I haven't even processed the fact that we've lost another baby... because even though it's lost, it's NOT LOST YET, if that makes sense? Urgh.

    @DesertDreams88: I've tried the hot baths, sex, and parsley tea to bring something on. I've got some raspberry leaf capsules in the cupboard, actually. Might try those too.

  28. simplyfelicity

    cantaloupe / 6634 posts

    @jaguar: I completely understand. The huge emotional toll didn't really happen until after my D &C because I was so focused on making it to that point. The reality didn't hit until later.
    I am praying that this over for you very soon and I am so sorry that this is happening to you.

  29. ctegge0416

    cherry / 159 posts

    @DesertDreams88: I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you recover quickly and find all the support you need here.

    @jaguar: I have been away this weekend so I just saw the news. I am so sorry this is happening and even worse that you still have pregnancy symptoms under these circumstances. I hope that you are able fit another IVF cycle in before the end of the year. I will keep all my fingers and toes crossed for you.

  30. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    Thanks all. I still feel like a whopping big downer. I'm sorry for bringing this thread down constantly.

  31. ctegge0416

    cherry / 159 posts

    @jaguar: You are NOT a big downer. This thread is here to support you and listen to you. I so wish there was something I could say to take some of the pain away. know we are hear to listen to whatever you need to say in order to heal.

  32. HappyBluebird

    clementine / 957 posts

    @jaguar: don't feel like a downer because you aren't! We're all here for you and whatever you need to do to vent, we are here for support.

  33. hilsy85

    squash / 13764 posts

    @DesertDreams88: ah that's awful, sounds like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place I can't believe a d&C would be so expensive for you! That's awful.
    @jaguar: you're not being a downer, this all just really sucks.

    I have my D&C tomorrow at noon...they said no eating or drinking 12 hours before. How strict do you think that is? I might die if I don't have water/tea until noon...! I think DH is at least going to get up with LO so I can stay in bed as late as possible. I am pretty nervous, as this is my first surgery....I am just really freaked out about the idea of someone doing something to my lady parts while I am unconscious. maybe I have been watching too much L&O: SVU....

  34. ctegge0416

    cherry / 159 posts

    @hilsy85: Good luck tomorrow. If you are going under anesthesia you definitely want to follow the eating restrictions. Let us know how everything goes and Law and Order: SVU makes every woman think twice about people messing with their lady parts lol I love that show!

  35. HappyBluebird

    clementine / 957 posts

    @hilsy85: Good luck tomorrow! As far as the food/water restrictions, the anesthesiology nurse said that it was important to follow so that when you are sedated you don't have an complications during surgery. There were like 3 different signs in the hospital (check in and 2 in the preop room) about making sure you didn't eat/drink.. I'm sure waiting until noon will be hard, I had mine first thing in the morning thankfully.

  36. mrs bunchy

    kiwi / 533 posts

    @hilsy85: good luck!! My d&c was scheduled for 2pm- dr was running late and I wasn't pulled back until 6pm. Mind you I didn't eat until the night before!!!! I'd say a sip of water is okay- they really want you to have an empty stomach,"..

  37. Sunshine1810

    pear / 1556 posts

    @DesertDreams88: I am so sorry for your loss! I think you will find a lot of support here!

    @hilsy85: I'm so sorry for your loss too!

    @jaguar: Don't ever apologize! You aren't bringing this thread down! We are here for support. I am SO sorry that you aren't having any signs of m/c yet. I am right there with you...still! It is beyond frustrating!

    Still no sign that I will m/c naturally. Today is officially a week since my last dose of progesterone. I don't have any signs at all. I do not understand my body at all!

  38. HappyBluebird

    clementine / 957 posts

    Finally got my HCG levels from last Wednesday, they are down to 10....week before I was at 14. Ugh just get to 0 already! I'm just so incredibly frustrated every time I get my results, I prepared myself this week so I'm not as upset as last week but every time my levels aren't negative I think about adding 1 more week to our wait of 6 months.

    I feel very silly getting so mad over 1 week but I've come to the realization that I will be well past my EDD before we can even think about trying again.

    What a crappy way to start this week

  39. FliegepilzHut

    pomegranate / 3533 posts

    @HappyBluebird: That is SO frustrating. The only thing that seemed to make things better for me was when I, due to difficult scheduling, (and general disgust) went 2 weeks between checks. Maybe that would be an option for you? I hope your week gets better from here on out!

    ETA: I'm also really sorry that you have to wait.

  40. HappyBluebird

    clementine / 957 posts

    @FliegepilzHut: Thanks so much for the support I would love to have draws every 2 weeks but I wonder if I will just be more anxious. As much as I hate getting the news of "not yet negative" every week, I think waiting 2 weeks would stress me out too. I think I just can't win in this situation!

    How are things with you?

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