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@jaguar:
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@jaguar: big hugs
@hilsy: I can't remember if I said how sorry I am that you've had to join this board (I've been sick almost a week now and it's making me delirious lol). I'm glad your procedure went as good as it could....I hope your recovery is quick so you can move on asap
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@jaguar:
good luck at your appointment
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@jaguar: I'm sorry, this sucks no matter which way you look at it. I'm hoping you can squeeze in an IVF cycle prior to the year ending.
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It's on!!!!
hcg was <2 yesterday and the bleeding has continued, so we're well and truly done over here.
I started jabbing this morning.
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@jaguar: glad to hear that you finally are able to move on! Yay for jabs
We went to go visit a friend who had a new baby a week ago...and of course we got the inevitable question, "When are you guys planning on #2?". SO awkward, I just wanted to be like, "well actually #2 was supposed to be here in June but that didn't work out...". Plus holding a newborn gave me serious baby envy.
@ValentineMommy: thank you
hope you are feeling better!
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@hilsy85: Ugh. I hate that series of emotions!
It does sound like you handled it really well, though! ETA: I met a nice young(er than me) woman tonight who's due in late March (my last EDD) and threw myself a brief pity party...
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@jaguar: Glad your levels having dropped and you are moving on to the next steps. Again, I'm so sorry you had to go through this
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Today I got a call from my doctor with my latest levels and they were at 5! That is in negative range according to the lab so I am officially negative!!!!! I have 2 more weekly checks and if those stay negative then the 6 month wait/checks can begin. So if all goes as it should we should be able to TTC again in late May/early June. Way past my April EDD but I'm thinking positive for the future.
I want to thank you ladies so very much for the support and for staying positive when I couldn't. You are all amazing and I'm hoping and wishing as hard as I can for nothing but the best for all of you in the very near future
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@HappyBluebird: awesome news!!
I'm waiting for a doctor after a follow up sonogram for cysts. Man I hate this waiting room! (And the fact that I'm still developing 5cm+ cysts so I'll have to keep coming back)
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@HappyBluebird: Yay! Congrats on a negative beta! (This is the only circumstance where that particular combination of words is even remotely appropriate.)
@MaryM:
Hoping you get some good news soon!
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@HappyBluebird: I'm so relieved for you! xxx
@hilsy85: I hear you. I have insane baby envy. It's not pretty.
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@MaryM: @FliegepilzHut: @jaguar: Thank you so much ladies!
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@HappyBluebird: Yay this is wonderful news! I am so happy you can start to move forward.
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I have been feeling pretty good about starting this new IVF cycle, but today I kind of got down in the dumps.
I just wonder if I'll ever get out of here, you know? We're now at over 12 months of TTC #2, when I hoped that this time around we'd have it a little easier. There are so many others who have had a harder, longer, journey... but is it wrong to feel selfish and wish this wasn't happening to all of us?
I've had two positive pregnancy tests this year.... two times my heart has been so ridiculously excited about what's to come. I've joined two DIG's... the first full of excitement, the second with nervous trepidation... and both times, I've had to leave, and watch everyone else go on without me.
I'm just feeling so very jaded today.
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@jaguar: oh hun, you have nothing to feel selfish about at all...this whole process just sucks. That's the truth. And if you're selfish, then I am just the worst person in the world, because I have been feeling SO bitter and angry lately and I mean, really, I'm pretty darn lucky considering how little time it actually took us to get pregnant with LO1 and even with this miscarriage. But I totally get feeling down in the dumps--the process is just so draining (and again, I say this from my perspective, so for you after a year, you must be really tapped out at times) and I really feel like we have so little control over whether it works or not.
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@hilsy85: I completely agree.
@jaguar: Jag, I am so sorry you are going through this. I felt the same way after my second loss. I thought that maybe I had gone through my first loss so the second one would work. So little about this makes sense.
I cannot imagine to understand how this feels for you and I have so much hope for you in the future even if it's hard to feel that right now. -
Thanks girls.
I think I just realised that I'm back in the same spot I was pre-Georgia, leaving everything in the hands of science to help us with making a baby. It's terrifying to not have control of anything... and that something that's meant to be so natural and easy to achieve, just isn't.
I would do this again and again to add to our family, but I'm just really sad that we're here again. At least with our FET's, it was pretty minimal intervention, you know? And now we're back to full IVF and it sucks. It's awesome, but it sucks.
I just wish we could get pregnant on our own.
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@simplyfelicity: Thank you for sharing this board with me
1. What is your story? I have a beautiful almost 22 mo old little girl; we conceived easily with her and looking back, never realized how lucky we were. We were TTC #2 for 2 months when we got a BFP in Oct. I had spotting at 5w that continued at 6w (this past Wed), when I had an ultrasound that showed no growth past 2mm (no confirmation on how many weeks/blighted ovum etc).
2. How do you feel today? Um, not sure? It comes and goes in waves - now that I'm actually miscarrying I felt a sense of relief, but my emotions are all over the place. My stoic control freak side makes me feel guilty, as sometimes I think I'm not emotional enough and then I have a breakdown (over laundry yesterday) and realize that I'm probably not as "ok" as I think.
3. If you have any "next steps" what are they? Waiting to meet with my doctor to go over the hcg results, hoping that we will be able to start trying again soon. I'm not sure what's recommended for early miscarriages, but I would love to be able to start TTC again before my 30th birthday in January.
4. Is there something else in your life you are "investing" in? I'm focusing on my little girl, just trying to make the holidays fun for her. She's definitely gotten spoiled this weekend. I'm also trying to get back to some healthy habits I've dropped since the summer - exercise a few more days a week, wear my fitbit more, yoga. Between some work stress for DH and TTC, I got lost in the shuffle and I want to feel whole before we do this again.
Hugs to you all
- thank you for this place. Right now I don't feel like I fit on the other boards, sitting in limbo.
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@Chaosmaven: I'm sorry for your loss.
Limbo is such a hard place!
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@jaguar: I totally hear you. It would be nice if things could be easy for once.
@Chaosmaven: I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
It's important to recognize how emotionally taxing, confusing, and frustrating a miscarriage can be and allow yourself to feel all that and more. I hope that you heal quickly and most of all, can enjoy the holidays with your LO! -
@Chaosmaven: I am so sorry for your loss. I literally had the same experience when ds was 22 months with a bfp/cp our 2nd cycle of ttc no two. It's such an isolating experience and a roller coaster of emotions. Please wall me anytime you need to vent.
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@jaguar: hugs mama. I hope the Ivf process is as smooth as possible and you will have your rainbow baby asap!!!! You are in my thoughts!
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@Chaosmaven: Welcome to this safe place of support. I'm sorry to hear that you are fresh in the pain of pregnancy loss - I am too. BFP Oct 4, bad ultrasound Oct 20, bleeding started Oct 22, blighted ovum diagnosis as well. I'm currently trying to use misoprotol to finish the incomplete miscarriage. I hope your talk with your doctor goes well re: HCG and TTC again!
@jaguar: FX for you!
Glad you were at least able to fit in a IVF cycle by the time you wanted to.
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@Chaosmaven: Of course! This board has been amazing for me. I hope you find all the support you could want here. Feel free to share whatever feelings you have-- there is a lot of them!
Once again, I am so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel your feelings, whatever they may be.
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Ladies, when did your doctor give you the go-ahead to start having (protected) sex again? My doctor said a month after the last day of bleeding, but, all of her other "guidelines" have been contradicted by other medical professionals, so I'm just not taking her word for it.... there are all sorts of conflicting guidelines online. We've currently been abstaining for 3 weeks now, and I'm bleeding a bit due to the misoprotol, but I was clear for about a week before that....
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@DesertDreams88: I dealt with the same issues with my OB-- she gave me really antiquated answers on how long to wait to TTC and stuff.
Since you aren't having a D&C, there isn't really a reason to wait to have protected sex. I had to wait three weeks because I had a D&C and there is concern about infection. Just wait until the bleeding stops (I know, easier said than done. ) In terms of TTC again, I would wait until you get your first natural AF. This, of course, is based on my own research and what I felt comfortable with. -
@DesertDreams88: Mine said as soon as the bleeding stopped (after the d&c) was fine for back to .... relations.
Took a few weeks.As for TTC, well, we got back at it as soon as we could, since we wanted to do another transfer.
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Thanks, @simplyfelicity. Hope you don't mind a follow up question: If there is a chance that I'll have a D & C in two weeks (if the misoprotol doesn't work), should I avoid sex prior? Or was the three weeks you mentioned purely for afterwards?
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@DesertDreams88: Just afterwards. Some OBs say no tampons/baths/sex/douching for 2 weeks but mine tends to be super cautious.
I am so sorry this is dragging on. I can't imagine how much you want to just move forward. Are you having any "luck" with the misoprotol? -
@simplyfelicity. Not really working, I don't think. Took 600mg orally yesterday and today (standard dose for incomplete MC), just have light cramping and brown/red spotting. My only "hope" is that this morning I passed either a blood clot or the placenta, and so I'm hoping that was the only pregnancy tissue left. I have another 600mg dose to take tmrw and an ultrasound on Friday, 4 weeks after the MC started.
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@DesertDreams88: Fingers crossed for a "clear" ultrasound. I can't believe this has been going on for 4 weeks!
That's absolutely horrible.
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@DesertDreams88: I was told we could have sex once the bleeding stopped and to wait til af to start ttc again. That being said, there's no medical reason to wait to ttc (even my ob said this) so I'm torn on that...it's only 1 month but I really just want to get back to ttc.
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@jaguar: Glad you're back at it! And I know it's really hard to stay positive and out of the dumps. It isn't nearly the same as going through IVF, but seeing positive after positive with only 1 LO to show for it can totally mess around with your head too. You're in good company. And though you may need help to get pregnant (and I need help to STAY pregnant), I'm hopeful that we'll both look back at this after our children are born and have a good appreciation for what we went through in order to have our little miracles. It's just really hard to see that right now.
@hilsy85: These questions kill me. If I'm having a really down day, I shoot back that it's not always as easy as just having another. I hate being snarky about it, but it's such a crappy question to ask. Hope you're feeling well...
@HappyBluebird: Awesome news! Hoping this time goes quickly for you!
@Chaosmaven: I'm sorry that you have to join us, but glad that you've found your way over here. Hoping things pass along quickly for you and healing starts right away.
@DesertDreams88: After my D&Cs, it was when I stopped bleeding. Of course, with my first, I had to wait 6 weeks and my second 8 weeks, but with my two chemicals, it was only about a week.
I have a follow up on Wednesday, so we'll see how I'm healing. I'm not sure if this is when she'll induce a period or if she'll wait another 2 weeks. I'm just ending my bleeding, so while I want to get the show on the road, I wouldn't be sad if I got a break from bleeding.
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@jaguar: Yay! Glad you can move on
Your feelings aren't selfish at all...I think you're handling things so well considering all you've been through. I had a HUGE pity party for myself last night and then felt so awful, considering so many people have it much worse than us. I think having a m/c brings an awareness of other people's pain (in their journeys) that is hard for people who haven't had a loss to understand. But you're not selfish at all, and your feelings are totally normal. Hugs @hilsy85: Thank you! I seem to finally be getting over this illness - I'm in week two now and the cough is JUST starting to subside.
@HappyBluebird: YAY!!!! So glad you are finally negative!! Here's to moving on and hoping the next 6 months fly by!!
@Chaosmaven: So sorry to see you joining in here and for your loss. Big hugs!!
@DesertDreams88: I was told to wait until the bleeding stopped....and that was 8 weeks after my d&e for me (completely not the norm). I hope it's over for you soon! Hugs!!
I'm officially back in the tww...and I hate it. It's such a rollercoaster every time, and each month I'm becoming more cynical and pessimistic about it all. We did manage to BD every night for 6 nights through my bronchitis and I did get positive OPKs...so we'll see. Sigh.
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@simplyfelicity: Thanks!
@jaguar: I'm so sorry, not having control in any situation can be stressful but I'm sure its much more difficult when it comes to TTC/IVF. I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible, I'll be thinking of you and your family
@Chaosmaven: I'm so sorry for your loss and that you need to join this board but welcome. This is a great group for support from people who understand how you're feeling. We're here for whatever you need!
@DesertDreams88: At first my doctor said to wait for protected sex until after my 2 week post D&C follow up. At that appointment she told me to wait longer, this was only because we were waiting for pathology reports to confirm if it was a molar pregnancy or not. A week later she called and said it was ok for protected sex as long as we were careful (again this is only because of the molar diagnosis). I would agree with the other ladies who suggested after the bleeding stops. I'm so sorry this is dragging on, hoping you have a clear ultrasound when you go back
@2PeasinaPod: @ValentineMommy: Thanks ladies!
@ValentineMommy: Fingers crossed for you! 6 nights in a row while sick is impressive!! Hoping for a BFP for you!
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Thanks for the well wishes and encouragement everyone! I had a "down" day yesterday due to the 2nd dose of miso not working, but today is a new day and I'm hoping it will be better!
@ValentineMommy: FX for your TWW! Timing sounds good
@HappyBluebird: I don't think I've said this yet, so I just wanted to let you know I'm so sorry that you had a molar pregnancy. I can't imagine the initial and ongoing disappointment, but I'm hopeful that you & your partner will be able to see the good silver linings in the next 6 months and fill it with activities that invest in your and your relationship.
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@DesertDreams88: Thank you very much! I'm sorry you had a down day yesterday, I have them occasionally too. DH and I are going to try our best to fill our next 6 months with things to look forward to and right now we are feeling good about the future!
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@2PeasinaPod: Thank you chick, you said it well.
I really hope so!@ValentineMommy: Good luck this TWW chick! xx I think we're ok to have a few down days every now and again, right?
@HappyBluebird: Thank you hon. IVF is great, but crap at the same time!
@DesertDreams88: I hope things finish up soon for you. I'm so sorry you're stuck.
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You know what I’m sick of? Reading gender disappointment posts, after I’ve been up since 6am, have self jabbed two injections AND had a blood draw, all while most people are still sleeping. AND I’M STILL NOT PREGNANT.
It does sound like you handled it really well, though! 
It's important to recognize how emotionally taxing, confusing, and frustrating a miscarriage can be and allow yourself to feel all that and more. I hope that you heal quickly and most of all, can enjoy the holidays with your LO! 
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