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Beyond Miscarriage Support

  1. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    I'm feeling really flat. Was so excited... now I'm nothing. For another few months, I'm nothing.

  2. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    You are definitely not nothing!

  3. HappyBluebird

    clementine / 957 posts

    @jaguar: I'm so sorry you have to wait I agree with @MaryM you definitely are not nothing. I know it doesn't make the pain go away but is there anything you can do (a hobby, craft, etc) to help pass the time?

  4. FliegepilzHut

    pomegranate / 3533 posts

    @jaguar: I'm sorry you feel that way. Maybe focusing on being as healthy and healthy as possible when the time comes would help?

  5. Chaosmaven

    apricot / 315 posts

    @jaguar: I understand feeling flat... I'm sorry you are feeling that way I feel like I am having a flat reaction to life right now, kind of just floating. I've decided to make this the best Christmas ever for my DD, so I'm tackling all the Christmas/holiday tasks and projects right now. Maybe find a personal hobby you enjoy or a project you can do for or with your daughter? My daughter is my best antidote right now.

  6. DesertDreams88

    grapefruit / 4361 posts

    @jaguar: so sorry to hear about the delays and ensuing emotions! did your doctor give you that timeline, of a couple of months? Hopefully the holidays can be a good distraction.

    Also, for those of you that had hcg draws done during / after your mc, do any of you remember how long it took you to get down to 0 from around 1600ish? I was at 1661 on Nov 5, and I haven't gotten my numbers from Friday Nov 14 yet. HPT was barely positive today, but, it wasn't a squinter, it was there.

  7. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    Thanks girls. I'll get there. It just all feels so hopeless, probably because I'm hormonal.

  8. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @2PeasinaPod: Ugh, so sorry about the hormones and anxiety...I hope it will all pass soon! Hugs!

    @MaryM: Right there with you on the jealousy factor. I swear almost every woman I know of childbearing age is either pregnant or JUST had a baby. In fact, I know one that just had a baby 6 months ago and already announced another pregnancy. Stab me.

    @Sunshine1810: I'm so glad everything went ok and you can move on. That's amazing about the burial service - how great (if that's the right word...)! You know what I mean. I wish mine had something like that, I feel like it was barely acknowledged.

    @jaguar: I'm not going to pretend that I understand the frozen vs fresh process, but whatever the case, I'm so sorry! You have been through so much, and now this too??? Ugh...words can't express how sucky that is, I'm sorry. You will get through this, too, and have your baby in the end, I know it! Hugs!

    @Chaosmaven: I totally agree with you. I'm 100% focusing on the holidays this year and making it amazeballs for my DS. It's the only way I can think to get through it.

    @DesertDreams88: Mine took a long long time....it took me a month to become negative from 1700 (and a month prior to that to come down from 40,000). That being said, I had retained tissue after my procedure, so that's why it took so long for me. Hopefully yours will be much quicker.

  9. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    As for me, I've been quiet lately. We're nearing the end of the 3rd TWW, and it's getting harder every month. I honestly feel as if I may lose my mind at times, and what I can do to convince my doc to do testing already or bloodwork or something. I'm going to be 34 in January and DH and I dreamed of having a large family....with each passing month that dream seems to be dying a little more. It's been really depressing. I don't wanna bring everyone down with my constant TWW bitching lol

  10. Sunshine1810

    pear / 1556 posts

    @jaguar: *hugs* I am so sorry, I know it's such a disappointment! The waiting is so so hard during this process. I think the waiting for FET is making it even harder to deal with the loss because I can't just try again when I want to!

    @ValentineMommy: Thank you! Yes, it was definitely a nice way for them to handle it, and it did make me feel like my loss was very much acknowledged which helps so much. I hate the TWW! I understand what you mean about each passing year. I hate my birthday now which is just awful! Hopefully this TWW will bring a BFP your way!

  11. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @DesertDreams88: I think it can vary depending on how your MC goes, but I think my draws continued for 4-5 weeks. I can't remember how high the number was when I first started or when it started coming down (I had the most confusing MC ever. They weren't sure I was miscarrying at first and the numbers rose even though nothing was happening growth wise at first).

    @ValentineMommy: I responded to you in the gold thread, but I'm feeling you. If you ever want to talk more one on one and not feel like you're bringing the thread down, feel free to reach out on facebook or email (you were in the gift exchange right? emails are in there).

    Sometimes I think it's easier to bitch one on one...no offense to the group. I do love you guys and am SO thankful for the support here!

  12. Jess1483

    nectarine / 2641 posts

    Hi ladies! I haven't posted in quite awhile, but I've been reading. I want you all to know that I'm thinking of all of you all the time! Lots of prayers and good thoughts for good next steps and lots of BFPs soon.

    @jaguar: That just plain sucks. I'm sorry. Thinking of you.
    @ValentineMommy: @MaryM: So sorry you guys are starting to feel down. I totally get it.
    @DesertDreams88: They never had me do blood draws. Just POAS after a couple weeks to see if it was negative.
    @Chaosmaven: What a sweet idea for DD. Hoping it brings you joy.

  13. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    OMG...so my newest annoyance...

    DH and I became godparents on Sunday. I posted two photos of us with our goddaughter (with the caption "Happy Baptism day to our goddaughter"). DH has a bazillion friends and evidently they're unable to read. Multiple people have assumed it's our baby.

    I might stop tagging DH when he's in photos if he can't clean up his friends list.

  14. HappyBluebird

    clementine / 957 posts

    @DesertDreams88: It took 6 weeks to get to below 5 (considered negative) after my D&C. I have no idea what my level was prior to the D&C as it was never tested, but odds are it was pretty high as that is a sign of molars. For reference my levels each week were 572, 74, 27, 14, 10, 5, then 3. My dr says its normal for the drops to get smaller the closer you get to negative. Fingers crossed you are at 0 soon!

    @ValentineMommy: You're not bringing anyone down, that's part of what this group is for! Still have my fingers super crossed for you! Hoping you see your BFP soon!

    @MaryM: Sometimes I just wanna scream at people like that! Glad you went to the baptism though

  15. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @Sunshine1810: FX I hope so!!

    @Jess1483: We miss you!!!

    @MaryM: Ugh....giant eye roll. What kinda "friends" didn't even know that you guys weren't pregnant for 9 months? Like, wouldn't a real friend know that?

  16. Jess1483

    nectarine / 2641 posts

    @ValentineMommy: Aw, thank you. Please know I'm here, even though I struggle to know how to be both supportive and sensitive, as I know my presence could also be hurtful. But I also stalk all of you on other threads to keep up with you

  17. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @ValentineMommy: The first one was a friend from high school that he doesn't see much, so I understood that one.

    The last one is actually a guy who used to date the aunt of the baby in the picture (long story on why they're friends, but people LOVED this guy and hate the current boyfriend! lol) so I was pretty shocked with that one. He could at the very least read the tags (I also tagged the parents) and figure it out!

  18. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @Jess1483:

    @MaryM: Why can't they just read the tag?!? Lol

  19. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    Maybe there's a new rule on facebook. If you post a photo of you holding a baby...it's yours.

    I'd be ok with that rule. She's absolutely adorable and a really chill baby.

  20. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @MaryM: hahahahahaha!

  21. 2PeasinaPod

    pomelo / 5524 posts

    I'm also here and reading. I finished taking my estrogen and progesterone on Monday. Yesterday was a really bad day with my anxiousness and even just LO. I think with the rain and it being our 3rd day in a row with my FIL, he was done. As usual, DH saved the day...got us out of the house and we had a nice night together. Feeling better today, but not out of the anxiousness woods just yet.

    Hugs to everyone wherever you are in your journey. I know we're all in different spots with waiting, trying, having disappointments and others making rude comments. I think about you all every day and wish this whole process wasn't so hard.

  22. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @MaryM: I saw you posting in another thread about it - but what were your chart signs of low P?

    @2PeasinaPod: I'm sorry you're still experiencing the anxiety! I hope it goes away asap! I think about this group all. the. time. no matter what stage we're in. Hugs!

  23. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @ValentineMommy: Mostly a lot of spotting (like 5-7 days before AF). But also, even though my temps shifted, the rise wasn't very high. It was *just* high enough to indicate ovulation.

    I took supplements last month for the first time, and my temp rise doubled.

  24. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @MaryM: Gotcha, thank you! I don't know what a "normal" temp rise is, but I've never had any spotting, thankfully. I'm just tired of trying to diagnose myself, and possibly for no reason. Lol

  25. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @ValentineMommy: Didn't you stop temping because it was too stressful? (just wondering)

    Usually your temp rises at least .4 degrees to indicate ovulation. Progesterone will usually make the temp continue to rise beyond that point, but mine was just barely getting there (or getting there and then I'd have multiple dips). Or, I'd be pretty sure I ovulated one day, but FF wouldn't confirm it with temps until a couple days after that because my rise was so slow.

  26. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @MaryM: Yes, I only temped for that one month (although I've done it in the past, before I was ttc). I seem to get positive OPKs on the exact same day every month (cd17) as well. I'm still doing those. My temp only went from 97.02 (cd17, 2nd positive opk day) to 97.27 (cd18, neg opk), then to 97.47 (cd19). So, I guess mine was a slower rise, but it did rise up. I guess that one month isn't really enough to have an accurate representation though.

  27. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @MaryM: Do you think I should ask my OB to do a progesterone test?

  28. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @ValentineMommy: Do you have a lot of spotting? Without temp data, I would just go by spotting. I didn't ask about it until I started spotting a week before AF started.

  29. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @MaryM: I've never spotted at all. AF comes on full force when she shows.

  30. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @ValentineMommy: That's a good sign then. I wouldn't worry too much about low P if your cycles are regular.

  31. simplyfelicity

    cantaloupe / 6634 posts

    @ValentineMommy: Fingers crossed for a this cycle! When do you POAS?
    @MaryM: Ummm...in that case, I may need to delete some Facebook photos. My nephew is adorable but C-R-A-Z-Y! I kid, I kid but seriously.
    @2PeasinaPod: I hate hate anxiety. Do you take anything for it or use any kind of emotional health strategies?
    I struggle a lot with anxiety, so I totally "feel your pain." Plus, being locked up with a FIL in the rain sounds pretty awful!

    @everyone: I care about you ladies so much and want you to know I pray and think of you often.

  32. 2PeasinaPod

    pomelo / 5524 posts

    @simplyfelicity: I don't take anything for it right now because I know that it's strictly due to my change in hormone levels. Today isn't so bad, but yesterday was horrible. I was snapping at everyone at work and I could just feel that my anxiety was at an all time high...blah!

  33. FliegepilzHut

    pomegranate / 3533 posts

    @simplyfelicity:

  34. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @MaryM: Ok great! I will attempt to put that (one) thing in the back of my mind now and focus on worrying about something else Lol Thank you!

    @simplyfelicity: I had a BFN yesterday at 10dpo. AF is due Thurs/Fri, so I don't know. I don't even know if it's worth it to POAS anymore. The stark bfn really messes with me that I'm not sure if I should just wait to see if AF arrives. Your thoughts and prayers are highly appreciated.

  35. FliegepilzHut

    pomegranate / 3533 posts

    @ValentineMommy: Sending and FX that you won't have to wait much longer!

  36. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @ValentineMommy: I've started either waiting, or (when i have a good supply of cheap tests) peeing early and often.

    I think it's best to do whatever makes you less crazy. But some months, I find it easier to assume I'm not pregnant until proven otherwise, so getting negatives is easier than hoping for the positive.

  37. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @FliegepilzHut: Thank you!!! I hope so too! I keep running through the "what if's" in my head, and they're really messing with me!

    @MaryM: I think the only thing that would make me less crazy at this point is medication haha Honestly, not charting has helped. And ignoring the whole thing/pretending it's not happening. However, as I sit here, I'm over-analyzing the cramping that I'm having. I can't win!

  38. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    Sorry if I go a little quiet lately. Just the realisation of us not being able to even ATTEMPT a pregnancy for another few months has hit me harder than I thought.

    Egg retrieval is tomorrow. I'm a wreck.

  39. simplyfelicity

    cantaloupe / 6634 posts

    @jaguar: Wishing you all the best tomorrow!

  40. HappyBluebird

    clementine / 957 posts

    @jaguar: Waiting is really crappy. I know we aren't in the same situation but I know how hard it is to know you have to wait when everyone else is trying. If you ever need someone to chat with, wall me or send me a fb message from our group. good luck tomorrow

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