Hellobee Boards

This really helped me and seemed to be true:

http://www.hellobee.com/2012/03/23/when-to-sleep-train/

I think if you have exhausted all other avenues and the situation is not sustainable, then you are ready to try cio. We are in the midst of cio with dd2. It worked so beautifully for dd1, in one night and 45 mins. Dd2 is tougher...we are on night 5 of our second attempt (tried a month ago and saw no progress so i quit). She was waking up 3x a night and we were so tired so we decided to give it another go. She still cried for 30 mins last night and she still wakes up at 5am for the day. This one is trickier. But i am going to keep at it for a week and then see where we are and reassess.

I did our first (of so many) rounds of CIO at 4.5 months to try to eliminate one of the many MOTN feedings that was going on since I was so sleep deprived. It was hard but not as awful as I had feared and it did help. It sounds like in your case, it's going to sleep that is the issue and I would probably give it a go. Have a plan (Ferber, extinction, etc) and stick to it no matter what. Give it a 5-7 days to see progress. If there isn't any by that point, then it's probably time to take a break and try something else.

@catomd00: Don't really see how that comment is constructive or helpful. Pretty much basically going to make the OP feel worse about everything and not contributing to a productive conversation. Just because you are anti-CIO doesn't mean that everyone is or that it's horrible. When my twins were four months old, I was literally waking up every 45-60 mins best case and wanted to die. CIO was the only option for me. Don't need to hear people judging for other people's parent decisions.

@Trailmix: +1 Why comment in a CIO thread if you are against it?

We did CIO right before 4 moths. She wouldn't nap unless we held her, was hardly napping at day care. She would take an hour of nursing every night (she wouldn't use a pacifier) to get her asleep. Then we had to hold her for 20 mins before we could put her down. She started waking up every 30-90 mins at night. After three weeks of it and working, I had a break down. DH sort of forced me into it but I am so glad he did. We had already talked to the pedi about it and since she could a 10 hr stretch she said to try it. We said that we would not go in her room till after 2, and then I would feed one time. It was a rough couple nights, but within a week she was sleeping 10-12 hours She took a 20-30 mins to fall asleep, but now she takes 60+ so I think it is just hard for her to go to sleep. She finally would nap in her crib, still short naps, but they were in the crib.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, the 4 month sleep regression is no joke. That was a dark time in my house. We first tried to sleep train at around 12 weeks, and honestly, it didn't work for us at that point, but I think for some babies it would have. We tried again at around 5 or 5.5 months and it worked amazingly well and she has been a great sleeper ever since. It's such a hard choice to make but it sounds like it might be the right choice for you at this point in time. Good luck!

It took us three tries before we were successful. Part of my issue was that I tried to separate naps and night sleep and it didn't work. We had to treat naps and days the same.

We did CIO around this age. Dh and I were just losing our minds and we figured she's crying even with us holding her, so why not let her cry in the crib and figure it out? It felt way too young but I couldn't see an alternative.

It worked pretty well for falling asleep at night, less so for wake ups- by our main issue was the falling asleep and I was mostly ok with the night wake ups. Waited a couple weeks for naps, even though that often meant me holding her for the whole nap, just so I knew she wasn't massively overtired by nighttime.

I will also say 3.5 months was her hardest age yet, and she just turned two.

@Trailmix: how is telling the OP there is a common regression at 4 months that will pass NOT helpful?!?! Are you kidding me?! Proponents of sleep training don't even recommend it until 6 months!! Had I not stated I wasn't a fan of it, no one would have thought otherwise of me saying that. I was just being upfront so she could take my "advice" as she wished. I don't really care what anyone else does with their kid so no I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad about their decisions. If you're comfortable with the decisions you make for your kid, great and you shouldn't have a issue with someone who doesn't do or feel the same way. My opinion that 4 months is too young is my opinion and not a judgement. They're very different things.

And lastly, the OP said she is considering CIO, not that she is 100% percent on board with it, so to me that means offering alternatives to consider as well is completely appropriate.

@catomd00: agreed. Way too young.

<< Proponents of sleep training don't even recommend it until 6 months!! >>

@catomd00: I think Ferber does recommend waiting until 6 months - but that may be because according to the Bed Timing book, 5.5 to 7.5 months is considered an ideal time to sleep train.
http://www.hellobee.com/2012/03/23/when-to-sleep-train/

In our case though, we sleep trained at 4 1/2 months and it went great! I think this is an area where the experts don't all agree. The husband and wife developmental therapists that co-wrote the Bed Timing book said that 2.5 to 4 months were a good time to sleep train!

We never did CIO but sleep at months was BRUTAL. Do what's right for your family, but if you are not comfortable with CIO right now, you can take some solace in knowing that this period sucks for most babies and waiting it out could make a world of difference.

@macintosh: I wrote almost this exact post at 4 months. I thought my new life was no sleep. Tried CIO for one night and it just did not work ( left her for a little over an hour).

In the end I decided I would make bedtime 7pm- nursed her to sleep and held her until 10 or 11pm and then was able to put her down. This lasted until about 10 months and then I could put her down at 9pm and now at 11 months I can put her down after less than an hour.

I know this solution won't work for all, but there are alternatives if you can't stand to do cio. Also- is your lo still swaddled? Sleep improved so much once she was no longer swaddled and could roll around / get comfy.

I agree on having someone come over so you can nap. Maybe not at night, since I know I wouldn't be able to let someone else lose sleep for me, but have a close friend or family member come over during the day and you can take a nap while they get time with baby. A nap seriously made all the difference for me sometimes. I also co-slept which might be an option if you feel comfortable. Survival mode is real. Good luck.

The 4 month sleep regression hit us hard as well- it coincided with daylight savings. So between holding her for every nap, having to rock and hold her for at least an hour before putting in crib for the night, and 4 am wake-ups, I was done. I tried CIO but found that I wasn't ready. I waited until 6 months when my husband was on vacation so I had extra support. She cried hard for 1 nap but that was it- the difference was amazing. We followed the Sleep Sense program with checks. Good luck, whatever you decide to do. It does get better!

I sleep-trained via CIO and it was my life saver FOR SURE.