My baby is now 2 months 16 days old now, and we have a pretty good routine / schedule down that works most of the time. Per our pediatrician's suggestion, we put him down at around 6:30-7, and he would sleep through the night until the next morning around 6-7, waking up once at around 4am to feed. Recently he had one night he even skipped his 4am feed.
My problem is, no matter if it is a nap or sleep, he HAS TO cry. There is no other way. Say if it were a nap, when I see him rubbing his eyes, I put him down in his bouncy seat and tug him in and tell him let's take a short nap... then next thing you know he cries and screams and I have to shush him in his ear. He falls asleep pretty quickly though, maybe within 5 minutes.
At bedtime it is more difficult. Again he would cry out loud, we turn on the white noise and the overhead mobile. Sometimes he would pass out for 30 minutes, wake up and cry again. This time he would cry for maybe 15-30 minutes, sometimes even more. Per everyone's suggestion we didn't want to pick him up and sooth him, so usually we bend down to shush in his ear, or patt him...etc., but soothing him like that doesn't really work anymore, and the white noise machine starts to fail us either. He just would cry nonstop and at one point we would have to leave him and let him cry himself to sleep.
Another thing is we try not to use the pacifier... we didn't want to make it a habit for him to suck to sleep and has to reverse that in the future... and I don't want to create orthodontic problem for him.
Is this just a phase? What did we do wrong? Any suggestion? Somehow I feel that he takes that crying is a prelude to dreamland. I really want to help him but I do not know what else I can do.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
I think its not until 6 months that babies can "self sooth" meaning they calm themselves down and fall asleep. I think its very normal for a baby that young to need to be comforted and "helped" to fall asleep.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
My reaction is that he needs to learn how to self-soothe... and he may be too young to do that. We sleep trained at 4 months (meaning, we'd put him down drowsy but awake). He cried most times for about a week or two. And he'd wake up crying at least 2-3 times a night. In fact, he still wakes up crying 2-3 times a night at 2 years, 4 months old but he puts himself back to sleep.
We used a pacifier. He dropped it on his own, not sure when, but as soon as he figured out how to suck on his own fingers he didn't want the pacifier anymore. Sucking on his own fingers helped him to self-soothe... as did a blankie/lovey. He didn't really like a blankie until much later than 2.5 months though.
You are doing a good job!! I know it's tough to hear him cry but you as his mom knows best when is too much. I personally rocked Wagon Jr. to sleep every time he went to sleep (and let him suck the pacifier) until we sleep trained. Then I knew he was ready and I let him cry for 5 mins at a time.
coconut / 8299 posts
We also used a pacifier and he totally dropped it on his own. So we didn't have any attachment issues with it. I say if it works, use it! I think you're doing a GREAT job. The first signs of sleepiness is the perfect time to put him down. Some babies just need to learn to self-soothe. Does he have a lovie or anything that relaxes him? My son loved his soft blankie. I had him cuddle with it early on, to get him trained to use it as a night time lovie. Now, whenever I give it to him, he gets sleepy right away (like a subconscious sleep cue).
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
My LO wasn't consistant with crying, but she has and still does it sometimes. It never lasts longer than a minute though, so I feel like it's not a big deal. Sometimes she screams bloody murder, and sometimes there's no peep from her. She's a thumb sucker and that sucking really helps her. I know it might be bad in the future.... but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
@banana: hehe this happened with Wagon Jr. too (the sleep cue for the lovey)... to the point where anytime he picked up a stuffed animal he'd immediately put his fingers into his mouth, hug the stuffed animal, and kind of slowly topple over onto the ground to lay down on it. Too adorable. Too bad that doesn't work anymore
kiwi / 525 posts
Oh get the pacifier, you have loads of time to remove it later without any tooth issues! Whatever works now to get LO settled to sleep without stress. Plenty of time to sleep train.
pear / 1837 posts
I always thought that babies couldn't really self-soothe till closer to 4 months, and that before then they didn't really have much by way of memory or pattern recognition (i.e. they're not forming habits, good or bad, yet) so you might as well do whatever kind of soothing you want (whatever is most effective) to get them to sleep... I wouldn't worry about the not picking him up thing for at least another six weeks.
grapefruit / 4110 posts
Some babies need the crying to fall asleep. Baby whisperer talks about it. There are 3 to 5 cries that actually are sleep cries. My son always fusses to sleep. He's a grumpy baby.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Totally normal, it's their way of soothing themselves.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Your LO is still young so he doesn't really know how to put himself to sleep yet. We also used a paci and it was easy to get rid if it so I would not worry about using one. I think it is also fine to pick him up since he is only 2.5 months. My LO couldn't fall asleep on her own, without crying, until 4.5 months.
nectarine / 2964 posts
I did recently give him the pacifier - he takes it at night, but at some naps he just screams and cries and refuses the paci.
During naps, he doesn't show the "I am getting tired" cues anymore. He doesn't yawn and all of a sudden it goes straight to screaming.
Or, when you thought you'd outsmart him and put him down according to the clock (say, 1 hour 15 minutes since he was a wake), he would also scream and cry. I used to think he hated the crib but now I realized it doesn't matter. He just hates the idea of "now I am told to go for a nap and I hate falling asleep because there are monsters who would come get me or something".
It is especially embarrassing when we are outside, he woke up and couldn't fall back asleep and he would scream like a mad baby. Of course we look like bad parents as we couldn't sooth him unless he stops himself.