Did anyone have a different opinion on circumcisions than their husband? Do mom's get final say haha?
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Yes, but I let DH have final say. He has a dick, I dont. I figure he knows more about it than I do.
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We didn't have differing opinions but I still let it default to my husband.
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@loveisstrange: ditto. Hubs and I had different opinions but I let him make the call since he has more experience with those parts
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Yes. I was against it and DH was for it. I eventually gave in to DH's wishes because it was the only thing he was really adamant about
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So, my husband and I differed, but ultimately, the final decision was kind of made for us, in that a circ isn't a routine procedure and required general anesthesia, which they dont allow for newborns.
My husband actually decided differently than I thought he would, which was a surprise.
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We did when we didn't know the sex - I was kinda against and DH was for. Glad we didn't have to decide this time!
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@looch: my husband had decided opposite of his situation... and I'm opposite of his decision. Haha too many opposites. But good point because my birthing center won't do it.
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We have a differing opinion. I'm against and my husband is for it. If we have a boy, I imagine that there will be lots of conversations about it but I'll probably defer to him.
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@anonysquire: Haha, my husband too! He's circed, but he didn't want our son circed, but I thought I did...but now our son isn't, lol.
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If we had different opinions I would probably not circ, because there is no going back!
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@Greentea: I agree!
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I felt more or less ambivalent, so I let DH make the call. If I felt strongly one way or another I don't think I'd defer just because he has a penis (though that would hold weight in the discussion).
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@Little Misters Mom: I agree about the penis part. I guess because I didn't make all feeding choices because I have the boobs or all childbirth choices because I have the vagina. I just made all the decisions because I'm the boss
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We don't have differing opinions but I would still defer to my husband.
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I didn't have strong feelings about it, DH did. I deferred to DH on this one.
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I worked pretty hard to convince my husband and he came around to accept my opinion.
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As it's an irreversible procedure that does carry some risk (however small), I would not just defer to my husband. I would do my own research and prob weigh his viewpoint a bit more but ultimately, the husband only knows one scenario (being circ'd or not) so it's not like he could really provide good comparisons. So I would hope we could come to an agreement (which we did).
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Neither of us have strong feelings on it but I think the final decision is his if we have a boy because he has a penis too.
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Deferred to DH because I didn't have a strong opinion.
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For circumcision, we both agreed on the course to take for LO. At least for us, it was an easier decision than coming up with LO's first name.
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We agreed luckily, but if we hadn't I would have put my foot down. If our son decides he wants it done when he's an adult, he can choose that for himself.
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Luckily my husband and I are both of the same opinion. But if we didn't agree I would defer to him since he has much more penis experience that I do.
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DH was indifferent, but upon talking to him about it he agrees not to circumcise if we ever have a boy. Like a PP said, I don't think an irreversible procedure done to our child is something I'd just let my DH just decide on his own, especially since he hadn't done any research on it. It doesn't matter that he has a penis and I don't.
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I deferred to my husband with our son but if this second had been a boy I was adamant not to again.it was traumatic for me. No judgment, just wasn't right for me.
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We were both relatively indifferent, or at least indecisive. We finally decided (after we had him) that we didn't have any good reason (religious or cultural or otherwise) to circ, so we'd err on the side of not doing it...we didn't want to do something that couldn't be undone without having a compelling reason. (But we're not against it, either, it was almost a coin flip). If E grows up and REALLY wants it done, we'll pay for it, but I don't think it will be an issue.
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@MrsMccarthy: Same. I was really traumatized by it.
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We also had differing opinions but ultimately I let my husband make that decision.
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Dh was pro circ, I was indifferent so we were initially going to have it done had LO been a boy.
Then we found out it wasn't covered by our provincial health insurance and we would have to travel 4 hours to have it done. So ya, dh changed his mind and now we won't circ any future sons.
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I let my husband choose. I don't need to be in control of everything.
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@lovehoneybee - exactly what you said
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@hilsy85: @pui: Absolutely, 100% agree.
I think we owe it to our kids to make well thought out, researched decisions before doing something that affects their life and to me just having a penis isn't enough for anyone to solely base a decision on. Because of that, DH and I both did research and came to the conclusion that despite the fact DH is circumcised it was an unnecessary and potentially risky procedure that we felt better about skipping.
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We agree, luckily. No circumcision if baby is a boy
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We did feel differently about it, and after several discussions we did end up doing what DH wanted, which was to have it done. I think some of you are taking the 'because he has a penis' a bit literally - I almost just left my response at that until I saw some of the other responses here, and then I wanted to clarify that doesn't mean we didn't research and discuss. But because DH has a penis, he can speak to how he feels about the fact that he is circumcised/uncircumcised - obviously I cannot. And while it is true that the procedure cannot be undone, for us it was also worth considering that it is much more complicated to have it done as an adult with a much lengthier recovery.
But I don't see why the mom would get final say for being the mom either...then again, there is no 'boss' in our relationship.
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I didn't really have a strong opinion about it, so I let my husband decide. No regrets here!
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We don't agree, so I'm kinda hoping for a girl. Really, I'm kidding, but if it turns out we are having a boy, we might have to talk about this issue in counseling or something...we both have strong opinions and I don't want to defer to him. Hopefully we can come to an agreement.
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Right, my husband has a penis, but he didn't actually decide about his own circ, maybe I should have asked my MIL.
Granted, we didn't agree orginally and I don't think every decision needs to be a joint one, but I actually prefer it when I get my husband's input as opposed to leaving it up to me. I get terrible buyer's remorse and can drive myself crazy on the what-if scenarios.
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@looch: circ is a non issue for us but, what you wrote about getting your husband's input, exactly how I feel. Urgh I hate it when he is like 'I don't know, you've done the research, you decide...' what if I get it wrong?! Far too much pressure
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We made the decision together. I let him take the lead because I didn't have an opinion at first, but it, as in all child rearing decisions we make, was mutual. Neither of us is the "boss", we are both the parents.
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I've never cared for it, but my husband is pretty furiously opposed. I've come around to his views.
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47 comments