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we circumcised our first son and if we have another boy we will not be circing him.

the whole experience was super traumatic for me and i don't think i could go through with it again. also, we've some issues from the circumcision, nothing serious, that i don't want to deal with in the future.

i told dh if he wants to debate with me about it then we'll just be one and done, that's how strongly i feel about it at this point.

@Sweet T: they have to put him under. his pediatric urologist said he'll be under like 10 minutes? maybe less.
i'm still really conflicted. and the procedure is SOON!

DH wants to have it done.. I'd rather have it done now than have DS deal with the pain and discomfort when he's older..

I haven't given birth yet, but if Cricket is a boy, no, he won't be circ'd, even though his dad and big brother are. I'm a lot like you, I didn't really research and I thought I had a religious prerogative to do it, so we did. Now I feel differently and I wish we hadn't done it the first time, although I don't beat myself up about it, I'm not an intactivist, but I'm not going to do it again now that I feel this way.
Coincidentally, DH is circ'd, but none of his 7 younger brothers are and as far as I know it's never been the cause of any issues between them or towards their parents. Now, I also have no idea if any of them have been circ'd on their own upon adulthood.

@Sweet T: I don't think it's immature at all!

We were on the fence about circ'ing. We went back and forth about it the entire pregnancy. At first DH just assumed we'd do it, because he is, but when we thought about it we couldn't think of any good reason to do it. It's not cultural or religious for us, and at the time the Academy of Pediatrics or whatever they're called had a very neutral stance about it. I know there's a slightly higher chance of STDs? But we figured as long as we taught him how to clean it/wrap it up that would be negated.

So for *us* it came down to circumcision being a purely cosmetic procedure. Did we care whether or not he looked like his dad? Would he care? After he was born (we were TG) we decided to opt out, and if in the future it's *that* big of a deal for him we'd pay for the surgery then (even though we know it would suck for him to do it when he's older). I have a good friend who's not cut, though, and he's never had any issues with it, health or confidence-wise, so I'm hopeful that it'll just be another part of him.

I will admit, though, we second-guessed it a lot. Even 3+ months out we (well, mostly DH) was wishing we'd gone the other way (he doesn't now). For the most part, it's against the norm here, in our community (the nurses kept trying to pick him up to get it done, even after we told them repeatedly we weren't doing it--they just assumed all the little boys were getting circ'd) and among our family and friends, but that doesn't really bother me now (it did for a hot second, though).

Anyway, those are my probably pointless thoughts about it, lol.

I don't see a problem with having it done for one son and not the other. DH is and his younger brother isn't. I let DH decide for our son and we did it, but I honestly don't know if I could do it again. As far as care if you don't get it done you don't have to do anything for a few years, much easier I think.

I totally understand wanting to have your second son circumcised because your dh and LO#1 are already -- having said that, i think it might not end up being a big deal in the end if you don't -- maybe it will just be a non issue as they grow up!

dh is circ'ed and we always just assumed that LO would be too, but to our surprise NOONE does it in our area (western canada) and apparantly (i was told by our OB) in our city of over a million people only ONE doctor does the procedure (for people with religious reasons to do so), and it costs 200$!

so we opted not to do it and don't regret it

I'm not sure what I would do in that scenario. As far as hygiene, no special care is needed for at least the first year. You can basically go by the mantra "only clean what is seen" at any given time. Just like you wouldn't try to fully clean a baby girl by doing anything internally during a diaper change, you don't need to do so with a baby boy. Never forcibly retract the foreskin, and don't let anyone else do it. When a baby is born, it is attached to the penis and forcibly retracting can be painful and in some cases cause damage. As he ages, it will become sort of less connected and be able to retract easily on its own. The age differs by individual, but you can clean it with water in the bath then, and teach your son to do the same.

Here's a pretty balanced link about cleaning (if you Google "only clean what is seen" you'll get a detailed but unbalanced take on it): http://www.drgreene.com/qa-articles/cleaning-penis-intact-foreskin/

@FutureMrsMcK: do not forcibly retract him at 3! Please! That info is based on old medical research and it's 100% normal for many, many boys not to retract until puberty, even after, like 19 years old. Forcibly retracting before it naturally happens can tear delicate skin and cause infection. Please research it before forcibly retracting!

I feel strongly about not circumcising, so if I had found out what I know now after having had one, I would still never do it. I wouldn't consider it worth what *I* consider mutilating my second child just so he wouldn't feel different. But I also know that most people don't feel that strongly so I'm on the extreme end.

@erinpye: Thanks, good to know! I might have worried if it hadn't started by then!