Hellobee Boards

There's a Daniel Tiger episode (and book) "Remembering Blue Fish" that my kid enjoyed when he was a few months shy of 3.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. It is extra hard when your own grief is complicated by how to explain it to a LO.

@Mrs. Turtle: I’m sorry you are in this position. We have dealt with a couple of deaths and everything I read says to focus on a simple and clear explaination. In our case we have tried not to tie death to being old or sick because for kids it is very hard to understand the nuance. Everyone is “old” when you are 3 and they don’t understand the difference between sick with a cold and critical illness.

In our case we explained to DD that so and so died because their body stopped working and that people were sad because we will miss them and can’t see them anymore. Be prepared for her to ask where he is a lot, even weeks later, the finality seems to be very hard for them to grasp.

We ARE religious so I don’t personally have any help here, but someone I know used the concept of “all done” and “bye bye” to their child in the context of death because their child understood that idea from like eating or finishing a project and knew how to say goodbye. They just kept repeating “Grandpa is all done. He went bye bye.” And they might show pictures of him and say “bye bye” and kiss the photo on the phone or something, but didn’t use sickness, an afterlife, or even real sorrow to describe it because they didn’t feel a 2 year old understood deep grief personally. They did say MOMMY is sad, can Mommy have a hug? Or something like that because the 2 year old understood comforting and empathy.

When I was 7ish and my grandmother died my parents explained that she wasn't comfortable at the end of her life and now she wouldn't be in pain anymore. That has really stuck with me, and although it's not relevant in every situation it helps me remember death is not the worst.