Hellobee Boards

I totally feel like this! And I have a big crybaby.....so it gives me so much anxiety going out in public.

I try to ignore it but most of the time I get stressed and embarrassed and just leave. Or end up wearing her.

My kid cries all the time. I don't think people are judging so much as just annoyed that they have to hear a crying baby. That's all.

@Mrs.KMM: I think it's healthy for babies to cry, and I think it's super-healthy when moms recognize this, and are okay with it. Crying is one of the only ways babies can communicate. I think taking a little time to recognize why they are crying, and reacting appropriately (which sometimes is letting them settle themselves), is key!! Sometimes the answer is that baby wants to be held and comforted, and if you always react to every single cry super-quickly, you could miss what they're actually wanting.

A book I'm currently reading encourages parents to excuse themselves from any embarrassment or judgement that they feel because of others judging them. You're doing an amazing job!!

I'll be honest if a baby is crying in public and the mom isn't trying to settle them I've probably given the side eye too. It's one thing if you're grocery shopping and just have to get it done, but tennis practice doesn't sound like something a baby needs to be going to.

If a parent lets a baby fuss in public, I generally don't mind. Full blown raging is hard to handle, though, as it's just annoying.

I used to feel judged so hard around these parts for admitting to sleep training with the occasional CIO, so I get it.

@Truth Bombs: I agree. I totally understand that they cry sometimes, but I wouldn't let my kids cry endlessly in public without doing everything I could to make it stop. Not because I'm opposed to crying but because I don't want to disturb others.

It depends on the situation. If a parent/caregiver is trying to console the baby or is hurrying to remove themselves from the situation, then I completely understand. I've had more than my fair share instances of rushing through the market to get food for dinner while my kid(s) is wailing.

If I can comfort them, then I will-- but if the kid just needs to cry, then I'll GTFO and let people do their thing in peace. To me, practicing my serve and trying on outfits isn't something that I would be doing with a crying baby. I would wait until I was on my own time to do those things, to be honest, and I would probably give a parent stinkeye if I saw them in similar situations.

i can't say i wouldn't be one wondering why you weren't tending to the babe. but I also understand doing things to remain you. unfortunately I also have a strong belief that that time will come later. and I have honestly left stores in the middle of shopping just because baby was having an off day and it was the wrong time to be thinking of me.

I have definitely let my LO cry in the stroller while speed walking home--sometimes you just need to get where you're going so you. Can address the issue! But like others in public, I try to be cognizant of the people around me. I am also a SAHM with no to limited help and LO comes everywhere with me when I run errands. Can't tell you how many stores I've had to leave because he was screaming and I was in the middle of trying on or the line was too long! Gets easier when you can bribe them with snacks. The only sort of thing I would stick it out for would be a drs appt or something. Doing stuff for myself would be less enjoyable and relaxing if LOnis crying during it!

@Mrs.KMM: pretty much what @Truth Bombs said. I don't just see myself as a mom, but if I intend to do "HabesBabe" things, then I gotta make sure someone else temporarily takes on the childcare role during that time.

@Mrs.KMM: may I ask how old your baby is? I'm like @oliviaoblivia and pretty adverse to crying, especially when babies are young. I'm sure some babies cry just to cry, but my boys really only cried when they needed something. But to me being held is a valid need for a baby. I think they can learn to settle themselves or entertain themselves as they get older.

@Mae: I can't look at you ever again without envy that you have never had your child cry in public. I just can't imagine

I get both sides of what people are saying. It gives me anxiety when my child cries in public and I do what I can to stop it, but my LO is a crier, whiner, and screamer. And it's temper related most of the time. So yea, some babies cry without a "need" other than wanting their way at this moment (my kid is 15mo, I wouldn't say that about a 3mo old), and I don't think needing to be held, sat down, held, sat down for 3 hours straight is a need, so sometimes he cries. But I am crying adverse so I usually can't bring myself to ignore him.

I can't fathom being able to do something like a tennis lesson without another adult tending to my baby though.

I would assume you soothe your child when you are able to do so, and aren't just ignoring her. I wouldn't worry about it. Sometimes they may have to cry a minute until you can get to them. There's been times I'm in the shower and LO wakes up and starts screaming, and guess what, it's going to take a few minutes until I get there.

@Mrs.KMM: I think you are doing the absolute best you can! W was colicky and he would sometimes just cry and cry even if I tried to console him. So, sometimes he would cry a bit and I wouldn't console him. Personally, I would only maybe start getting annoyed if the crying went on a long time. I definitely think that personal time is important and when I was not having any it definitely negatively affected the family. So, if this is the best option for your family then go with it! No one ever agrees with everyone's parenting style.

I will admit that I would judge a mom in those situations, because I do believe that babies cry when they need to be held too, which is a legitimate need. I pick them up whenever they cry, but especially in public. But maybe the point is, though, who cares what I think? You have a belief that how your parenting is the right way to do it for you and your family, other people disagree, nobody dies. I think judgement is totally a normal human thing - it helps reaffirm that you believe the things you believe. I just left my kids strapped into their carseats with the car running for temperature control and the doors locked while I ran inside a drugstore and bought my kid a toothbrush. I wholeheartedly believe that this is a perfectly acceptable thing to do. Other people don't. Oh well!

@runnerd: lol! we play the up/down game if I'm just holding her on my hip but if I'm wearing her she's cool.

I think it's largely based on your baby's temperament. My babe doesn't cry unless she needs something so when she does, I will do what I can to fix what's bothering her. That said, one of my friends has a baby who cries a lot and when we're out she sometimes just has to let her cry (all her needs have been met, she's even picked her up and babe pulls away). Eventually the crying stops and we're left puzzled as to what brought it on. It's not easy for my friend to feel like she can't help her baby, but she does what she can and eventually her babe organizes herself and calms down. When I'm with them and this happens, the crying makes my skin crawl but it's because I'm just not used to it. There may be people judging you, and that feeling totally sucks, but if you know that you're doing what you can then just keep on keeping on.

Sorry, but I'd judge. At 4 months your baby is just barely out of newborn stage. They cry because they have a need. With a baby that little sometimes you have to skip trying things on until baby's napping at home. Or...not go to tennis practice unless you have a babysitter. Does she just sit on the sidelines while you're running around?

I think I am screaming baby averse...and also probably would have been judgey before my little bundle arrived. Generally, my baby only cries for a cause (including lonely or tired) and has cried real tears since he was 1 week old, which breaks my heart.
I second having someone to keep LO company if you'll be occupied for a longer time...but otherwise we all are just doing the best we can. Honest-to-goodness crying makes me miserable, though, so I am totally that lady who is talking, rocking/swinging, and loudly shushing baby if I can't pick him up in public. I can only try to keep that compulsion at bay when it comes to other people's kids.