Drive in a vehicle holding your LO on your lap? Under what circumstances would you/did you?
I personally feel like this is a very black and white issue, but I've seen it a few times recently and it got me wondering about the circumstances that led to an infant being held in a car by their mothers...
114 votes
honeydew / 7586 posts
Maybe if we had to rush to the ER? That's the only situation I can imagine ever doing it.
pineapple / 12802 posts
@rahlyrah: agreed.
My IL's live right around the corner from us and offered to drive us home without a car seat one night. No traffic, literally right around the corner. I still didn't feel comfortable doing it.
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
I have, once, and it was with a stranger, and I was terrified.
E was maybe a year old? We had walked up to the grocery store with E in the BOB (as in, not the Snap N Go with a bucket seat). When we had left the house it was sunny. When we were halfway home (it was like 2 miles there?) it got dark in the span of a minute, the sky opened opened up, and it started to hail. The stretch I was on was in front of a cemetery, and there were no porches or anything I could run to and wait it out. It wasn't little hail balls either, and there was lightning to boot.
So when a woman (mid-40s, drove a Prius) pulled over and offered us a ride I didn't hesitate. I felt so strongly that I had to get us both out of it. The storm ended up lasting like 20 minutes (at least the really bad parts, it poured for over an hour). She drove us the mile or so left home.
Moral of the story: if you're taking a walk, check the forecast.
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
@.twist.: Honestly, I still shudder a little bit thinking about it. But it was serious hail--it cracked my neighbor's windshield!
pear / 1517 posts
I have off the road. We farm and have a lot of field roads that I've held DS on briefly but never on the real road...
pear / 1642 posts
@rahlyrah: that's pretty much the only time I'd consider it, too.
Until I read @lovehoneybee: scary story. I probably would have done the same thing! Nice of that lady to see you needed a way out and to stop for you!
pomegranate / 3779 posts
DHs family lives in a country where car seats are not required or even common. His nephew (2.5 yrs) has never ridden in one and I held him in my lap while we were driving somewhere when he was 5 months old. (I was a nervous wreck and kept positioning his head between my boobs because it was swervy mountain roads.)
In general, they mostly take public transportation and they didn't even own a car until a few months ago. I would imagine the same goes for people who don't own cars and use public transportation in large cities in the US - they don't require carseats in taxis/on buses.
nectarine / 2115 posts
It would have to be circumstances where we had to get somewhere and there was no other option.
pomegranate / 3392 posts
I wouldn't like to, but never say never, like an emergency situation.
coconut / 8279 posts
I checked maybe because I would in an emergency situation but haven't and hope I never have to!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
No way, I guess unless some crazy action movie thing happened and I have to?!
pomelo / 5228 posts
Emergency only! My SIL did it for a short trip this past weekend and it made me really uncomfortable (niece didn't like the rented car seat).
pomegranate / 3872 posts
I mean maybe if we were in a life or death or insane injury situation. Not something I can imagine doing otherwise.
honeydew / 7283 posts
I hope I would never have to do it but I suppose there could be an emergency situation...
A friend just told me she held her 18 month old in her lap for several hours on this weekend during car trip because the kid was crying and freaking out and she wanted to nurse her and calm her down. I can't imagine doing that and I didn't even know what to say!
squash / 13764 posts
I've done it in taxis in another country. It's also not required to have kids in carseats in taxis here in NYC. I would only do it for short trips, and nothing on highways (for some reason this would make me feel better, even though Iknow it's probably not reasonable!).
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Yep. My parents live in a golf course community. Speed limit is 20 miles an hour. We sat in the back and M loved it. 
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Also, does anyone remember that we all grew up without carseats and survived?
grapefruit / 4120 posts
I have done it a few times - in taxis or in a parking lot when my baby was flipping out.... When we left the parking lot it was, " oh well! Back to your seat!"
Wait, now I think I misunderstood! because I was riding! not driving! Sometimes I do let my toddler sit on my lap while I park in our parking lot.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
Yeah we were at the mall during Christmas and when we got back to the car M was FREAKING out to eat. We couldn't just hang out in the car because there were cars fighting to get our spot. I nursed her in the back seat while hubs tried to drive to a far away empty portion of the parking lot. Traffic was so insane we never went more than 5 mph and it took so long to move anywhere that she was done and snapped into her seat before we even reached the exit from the main parking lot.
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
Please post this question in the Car Seat for Littles Facebook group so I can see the shitshow that ensues!
I hope I never have to. I would only do it in a true emergency.
grapefruit / 4582 posts
We did when we were traveling to st barths. Our plane got delayed and we had to sleep in st Maarten. We didn't bringn a car seat so we drove from the st Maarten airport to the hotel in a taxi and it freaked me out (she was 1 yo). I also anticipate to ably keeping the kids in my lap in a taxi in NYC the rare times we will take one
nectarine / 2667 posts
Several times, in the shuttle from the airport long term parking lot to the terminal. It's about 10ish minutes each way.
grapefruit / 4819 posts
Yep - but only in taxis where we have no other options. You can special order a taxi with an infant capsule, but those are only for babies up to six months of age (our LO outgrew hers at 5 months). When we've had to take taxis, it's usually been to go to the airport and we don't ever take a car seat with us on holiday, soon other option but to hold the babies on our laps.
honeydew / 7303 posts
I did once when LO threw up all over her carseat 3 ish miles from home. It was literally everywhere and we had nothing to clean it up with. I didn't want to squish her back in the soppy mess to get home. I hated the whole thing. It sucked!!! DH was driving. 
coconut / 8498 posts
I've done it once. I held her while my dad drove around in the middle of nowhere around my parents' property.
eggplant / 11824 posts
Yes, taxis and tour buses a few times each. Shockingly we somehow all survived! 
kiwi / 548 posts
We hold our kids every year in taxis while on vacation in the Caribbean. I know it's not safe,but my husband probably wouldn't let us take vacations if I insisted on bringing car seats. I don't even think the taxis have seat belts?
@luckypenny: Where did you stay in St Barths? Debating between there and Nevis for next year!
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
My car broke down once and the safest thing was for LO and I to get out of the car (it was stuck in traffic). I had her in the Ergo and my brother came to get us and drove us the last mile home. I sat in the back seat and kept her in the Ergo.
clementine / 849 posts
I would out in the country. My dad's family is from a town of 200 - there aren't even paved roads. Or in an emergency.
cantaloupe / 6885 posts
@lawbee11: Bahaha yes!
I would hope to never have to, but there might be extreme circumstances like emergencies that I would need to?
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
Does across the yard (literally, we share 5 acres with DR'S family, zero traffic) count? Then yes. On paved road, I wouldnt.
pomelo / 5628 posts
I accidentally voted yes. I really antes to once when LO was covered in puke and we were a mile away, but I still didn't.
pineapple / 12053 posts
@lawbee11: i lasted like a week in that group!
i have done it twice while moving our car out of our long driveway onto our street. and another time when DD was young, angry and we were a quarter mile away. afterward DH and i agreed that it was a horrible decision and we never did it again.
ETA: we did what @T.H.O.U.: did with her in our carrier.
grapefruit / 4582 posts
@Sparkler: we rented a villa through Sibarth. It was an amazing experience. The Hotel christopher is amazing and beautiful and totally recommend their spa! I've been to every island in the Caribbean and Bahamas and it is my favorite place. It's like Paris on the beach.
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58 comments