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@ValentineMommy: preach

All the time. My MIL keeps saying she wishes that we could figure out a way for me to stay at home with the kids instead of work. I feel judged at work for putting my family's needs before work (I don't work all events because I won't put my kids in daycare and then cart them off to a sitter). I feel judged by other moms when my kid throws a fit at daycare drop-off.

@ValentineMommy: Yes, my husband basically told her that while we would love for me to be able to stay home, there are also things that we love, like being able to afford to have a roof over our heads and put food on the table without struggling. My mom hates that we won't have a third child, but if we did, we absolutely would not be able to afford daycare for them all (and daycare for two is going to be a stretch unless one of us gets a significant promotion).

I have no idea because I really don't care. I'm proud of my family and the choices we have made. The end.

No, not really. I don't really care anyway. It seems like there is always someone to judge something. Like @Adira, I feel like I was judged more when she was younger. Mostly for breastfeeding as long as I did, while doing an elimination diet, instead of using formula. I will never understand why I was judged for that (the hardship was only on me). Apparently it made it "difficult" for our families to take us out to dinner, or cook for us. Boo hoo.

I live in a community of SAH moms. I get judged for working. And I really don't care.

A little bit when my kids were babies and I formula fed. Not as much now, but it's possible I have developed a thicker skin. Related: I'm a SAHM mom and I have serious respect for WOHMS. I have never really understood that particular aspect of the mommy wars.

@Bao: Definitely for being a SAHM. What's upsetting about it is that people think you don't work hard! Sure you might have some extra flexibility for some things, but it's still a really hard job. One of my favorite comments recently was, "You've been home for a while now, maybe it's time you start looking for other things you can do also. Did this person volunteer to drop/pick up my kid from school? Or take care of my two year old as I do these things? Nope, smh.

not really, but man if my sister said something to my mom about my work status, i would be so hurt and fucking pissed. i'm sorry your brother made a comment. i'm going to bet that's more about him than you.

I do sometimes, but I think it's often as much that I am projecting as that people are actually judging! I've made parenting/family/lifestyle choices that are currently the best for me and our family but that I would've never expected to choose -- and, yes, I realize that I am lucky to have the option to choose!

I've been a WOHM, SAHM, and a part-time WAHM and I've been judged for all of them 🙄

My mom had a lot to say about me putting my almost 3 year old in half-day preschool. And I'm pretty sure when I announce this pregnancy, I'll feel judged for having 3 kids in less than 4 years.

Ughhh yes!! I stayed home for 7 months with DD and then returned to work for a little bit and got "How can you leave her?". Um- I couldn't really and I cried every day so I went back to staying at home when we moved 6 months later. I got tons of crap from my ILs about "not contributing". My MIL always worked a full time job and she thinks I'm super lazy for not working and "making her son pay my student loans". DH eventually made some comment about how he's proud that he can afford for me to stay home and that he loves that I don't leave our kids with strangers all day. ILs didn't really like that, but they haven't been rude to me about our life choices since.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: on HB? :'(

My In laws are super judge-y people and we see them everyday so yeah, I feel judged. They make some pretty rude comments about everything and are constantly asking questions about things that are not their concern and telling me how what I'm doing isn't the way to do it.

I occasionally feel judged by other parents about how I handle DD's attitude or the fact that I'm pretty hands off and let my kids climb and fall (within reason) and even climb up the slide (gasp) if no one is going down. But I don't care. It's usually strangers.

Not really, but I just don't care. I'm sure people do but whatever, they shouldn't be concerned about what I do if they don't live with or financially support me.

I feel judged for extended breastfeeding. DS#2 is two and a half and he still asks to nurse regularly.

Yes, of course. I think most people do at some point. Judgement from strangers doesn't bother me much but it is much harder from friends and family. Most of my friends do not have children yet, but it is definitely not the norm to be a SAHM where I grew up so they all judge pretty hardcore. They say I am wasting my degree and will be raising my daughter to think she can only be a wife and mother. That stings.

We parent differently than any of my inlaws which makes for some interesting comments. They think the differences stem from just me when really DH wants to intentionally do things differently form how he was raised.

The only time a stranger really got to me was when I was confronted for rear facing my daughter, who was 18 months at the time, in a Target parking lot. She started yelling at me that I was putting her life in danger and said she would call the cops if I didn't switch her seat. When I tried to ignore her she tried prevent me from putting DD in the car, when I pushed her away she called the police to report that DD was rearfacing. It was ridiculous.

I had finally reached the point of not really caring what others think, even though I've been judged so much since making the decision to work- go back to school, and now work full time in my new field.
However, I really can't help but care when it's family members making comments. Just a couple weeks ago my dad again brought up the fact that I work and that back in his day, women never worked and stayed home to raise kids the way it should be. That's been so, so hard for me to deal with. My mom has worked hard to support me and doesn't say anything anymore, and I wish he'd do the same.

I also live in a predominantly SAHM area and I didn't know any mother growing up who didn't stay home with her kids. So it's hard to find support for WOHMs.

Since my husband found out he's losing his job, my favorite retort to the naysayers has been "so you think it'd be responsible for me to quit my job and stay home when my husband is out of work?" And lately that's been shutting them up.

One of the reasons I chose to go back to school and get a degree because I knew if the worst happened, I wanted to be able to provide for myself and my son. And right now, I'm having to do that. And I can't imagine the predicament we'd be in right now if I hadn't finished my degree and got a decent job.