Hi! So I just got a job interview and it's a great position, more money, better benefits. I applied back in August so its been a long process already.
My question is this, I will be 6.5 weeks pregnant at the interview do I have to tell them?
What if I'm offered the job do I have to tell them then or can I wait until I start?
I don't want to surprise them but I also do not think I'll get the job if I tell them in the interview, I'm in a male-dominated field so I don't want to get mommy-tracked.
Thoughts?
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I would not say anything in an interview. I would not say anything until you have the position offer in writing and it is all finalized.
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I would tell them once they offer you the job.
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I think it is very typical to not tell employers until you are out of the first trimester, sometimes even half way. So, If you got the job you still might have some time to work there before telling them.
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I wouldn't feel obligated to tell anyone during the first 12 weeks. After that, I would carefully consider how telling/not telling would impact my working relationship with a new employer, and there are lots of points to consider, i.e., establishing rapport/trust, size of organization and ability to absorb your workload during maternity leave, etc.
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I would probably bring it up during salary negotiations, after you have an offer, because I'd want to factor in what they could offer you for maternity leave. Since you'll be there less than a year when you have the baby, I'd want to know where I stood with that before accepting and leaving my other job. But not until then. And i wouldn't feel guilty at all because you weren't even pregnant when you applied.
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Legally you don't have to tell them anything. It is illegal to discriminate on pregnancy but if they haven't given you an offer, it is hard to prove. You should tell them after you receive the offer at the earliest. Make sure you have a plan for your maternity leave time. In my experience (with a discrimination issue) I wouldn't tell until absolutely necessary.
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Thanks ladies! I think I'll wait and see if I get an offer.
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Yah you definitely don't have to say anything right away.
Is it a big company or a small one?
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I wouldn't say anything, you could even wait until you start showing, if offered the position. There is no rule!
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i wouldnt say anything yet. 6.5 weeks is still so early.
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I had the same thing happen to me. I had applied, and interviewed twice. I found out I was pregnant the day before my 3rd interview. I received an offer, and then told them that I had just found out I was pregnant. Since I wouldn't be covered under FMLA, I needed a guarentee of keeping my job. They were very understanding and I took the job. I do not regret my decision to tell them, no matter what the outcome was. I needed to be sure that I would get my maternity leave and not feel liek I was going to lose my job.
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@mrbee: huge, its a state government position.
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@babynumber1: this is what I'm worried about. Luckily I'm currently double-covered under my husbands insurance so thats not an issue but I'd hate to lose my job after switching employers, and FMLA won't be guaranteed.
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i was interviewing right around the same time! I ended up telling the potential new employer - especially since it was a smaller company - and was thinking I should stay put in my old job anyway --- but they took me! It wasn't ideal being in a new position & pregnant the whole time if I'm being honest, but that may also have to do with the fact that I don't love the company!
but yeah - agree with others, wait until after.
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@jetsa: Since its a state position you should be fairly covered. There may be a few creative ways you could ask about benefits/leave when you get an offer before you accept without specifically having to tell them you are pregnant.
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I wouldn't say anything until way later. I think I told work at 18 weeks when it was obvious I wasn't just getting chubby around the midsection. Definitely wait till you're out of the first tri.
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Ok I'm in this situation again. This time I have an offer, I need to negotiate salary but if they'll budge I'd like to take it. When do I tell them? I'm now 17.5 weeks. Its a small team within a larger City organization so I think waiting until I start (when I'll be 21 weeks) will kind of screw them and I don't want to start off on the wrong foot. BUT I also don't want to not get the money I've earned because I'm pregnant.
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Do they not know? Was there no in person interview?
I would do the salary negotiating first, and then tell once you agree on a salary. At that point you can negotiate leave etc.
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@wheres_c: I interviewed in person yesterday, I'm not showing much yet. This seems to be the consensus, I'm afraid of ticking them off and then having to deal with the consequences once I start the job. I am an engineer, 90% of the people in my field are male.
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@jetsa: aah gotcha. Good engineers are hard to come by...(I am an operations analyst for a company that is always needing engineers)
In order to find and retain quality people, many companies will work with you.
I'm not an engineer, but I had only been with my company a few months when I got pregnant. I scraped in to qualify for FMLA by 1 month!They were willing to work with me to make a flexible schedule and work from home after the baby.
One thing to remember to negotiate is leaving for doctors appointments. It's good to have that out in the open before they start getting too frequent. I ended up having perinatologist visits on top of the regular doctor.
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@wheres_c: awesome you know where I'm coming from then. So do you think salary negotiation and then leave/pregnancy or just all at once?
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@jetsa: I would do salary negotiation first, because that shouldn't be dependent on pregnancy. Then negotiate leave.
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I think a big factor is how much you feel like trust is or will be a factor?
I tend towards relationships based on trust, and would absolutely prefer someone to tell me that they're pregnant earlier rather than later. I'd definitely hire someone who was pregnant. If the candidate hid it and then told me after they were hired, it would be a big setback to building a trusting work relationship.
That said, I recognize that not everyone works that way... if it's a larger organization/corporation, those are often based less on trust (both giving and receiving), and so that'd be a very different situation I think!
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@mrbee: This is what I was trying to say. The trust aspect is important to me and why I feel I need to let them know as soon as possible. It is a small City but the team I'm working with is only 4 other people, so I don't want to start off on a bad note.
@wheres_c: Thank you for the advice, while I agree I think I'm going to go with my gut and try to negotiate salary and inform them I'm pregnant in the same conversation.
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I was very recently in a similar situation and I ultimately told them during my interview that I am pregnant and that my mat leave would begin a mere three weeks after I were to start the new job. I wanted to be transparent and did not want to tarnish my reputation at this new job (if I ever get the job) even though it IS my right to apply while being pregnant.
I don't think I'll get the job but I can rest assured knowing I was clear and open from the beginning.
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I accepted the job this afternoon. They accepted my full salary request even after telling them I was pregnant and would be out on maternity leave in Sept-Nov.
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