Hellobee Boards

@swedishfish: @Mrs. Pinata: Yes, didn't the Gosselins have an IUI with too many mature follicles and their RE cancelled the cycle and warned them not to have sex but they did anyway?

@spaniellove: I didn't see that email? What was it about? (What would change?)

@bluestriped bee: It was buried in the one about the fertility scorecard. I think it's pretty awful that legislators want to get rid of the mandates/coverage, although healthcare for all is in general a priority.

@LindsayInNY: They sent a link to this page:
http://familybuilding.resolve.org/fertility-scorecard/
Which if you click on "learn more here" in the second box down takes you to
http://www.resolve.org/get-involved/fertility-scorecard-key-state-action-alert.html
With a note about the mandates being in jeopardy in certain states.

More than I ever imagined..... So far we have paid probably $5,000 or $6,000 for four IUI's (including meds). We are fortunate because there were only a few tests not covered by our provincial insurance (diagnosis). We are moving forward with IVF in the summer and it will likely be $13,000 to $15,000 OOP

I think we've spent about $4,000, but are still making RE payments -- we went in telling them we didn't have insurance coverage, but for some reason they submitted everything to our ins co and the claims were coming back saying that we obviously owed 100% but the costs were astronomical! We spoke with our RE billing person who told us we should've been billed for everything at a self-pay rate. So now we are getting all the bills at a 75% discount. Urgh!

Also still on progesterone for IC which costs about $260 a month.

My understanding is that most insurance companies don't cover IF treatments NOT because they don't want to cover IF, but because they don't want to cover the cost of multiples (which are way more expensive, as others have mentioned). This is INCREDIBLY DUMB, since better IF coverage would lead to fewer multiples, *and* because the insurance covers the pregnancy (multiples, NICU, etc.) regardless of how you get pregnant, so they are covering the multiples anyway. Don't even get me started.

My insurance covers diagnostics, but no treatment and no meds. Thankfully, we did not have to go the IVF route for DD, but we spent easily $2,000+ on my surgery, multiple HSGs, etc. I don't even want to think about how much I have spent on FRERs...

@lazypanda: oh no! My trigger shot doesn't have to be refrigerated--what type is yours? I did worry b/c I left my drugs out one night and forgot to refrigerate them, but my house was cool and I'm hoping it's all okay.

@bluestriped bee:my feelings are mixed about it. I get if people feel like they can't relate, but some of the comments like, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" were on the insensitive side.

@bluestriped bee: wow, I knew people talked about spending a lot, but this is still eye opening for me. Thanks for posting.

Re: hiding IF boards... Could be that some people also just want to stay out of it in an attempt not to make a dumb comment. Even with the best of intentions it can be tricky responding to IF threads when you just haven't been there.

@septca: smart. You're totally right!

@septca: sorry you're having a bitter day. I was sad to read your update. Hugs.

@bluestriped bee: ((standing ovation))

I am *really* open about my struggle in real life. At first, I think it kind of embarassed DH (my total puritan Yankee husband). But I spent a lot of time talking about how alone IF made me feel, and that if - by talking about it - I could make one person feel less alone, that was a victory. He is a total convert and now brings up our struggle with complete strangers (maybe a little overboard, but I'll take it).

@bluestriped bee: I know how you feel...it really stung to read that people were hiding the IF threads. Hiding a good portion of the community? People pop into other TTC threads ALL THE TIME to wish others luck. Why not do that in the IF threads?

@bluestriped bee: It's not just IF, I've seen this kind of thing happen with special needs where some people will go the distance to learn about it or at least do what they can to be an ally and some people make it clear that they feel it's very much not their problem. HB is probably a more tolerant community as far as friction goes since you won't see as much obvious disrespect as some other similar sites. But it does make things tough that everyone is thrown together into the mix - there are "boards" when you post but the entire community sees them. It's more like a category.

@Happygal: I agree about checking out a real IF board every now and then, even if it's just to lurk. That's where you'll learn what a lot of other people in your situation are doing, the different protocols, etc.

@looch: I completely second this. I think about the IF people a lot (and follow a lot of their journeys), but would be / am terrified to comment. My sister went through IF (PCOS) and so I know some stuff from her, but I don't want to EVER seem insensitive or like I think I even remotely know what I'm talking about. I think, unfortunately, people tend to stick to what they know and avoid the things they don't (I live in the South and think this is a huge problem here). As a result, we end up just staying in our bubble. It's so easy to assume that your support isn't needed or even valid because you haven't gone through IF. And it was important for me to be reminded in this thread that this mentality is simply not the case and can be very hurtful! I sincerely hope that we all make an effort to become more integrated - regardless of stage.

For example, I personally LOVED seeing @bluestriped bee 's dogs on the Easter ears thread. I lurked on that thread, but don't have a LO so I didn't feel like I had anything to add. I made my dogs Easter baskets (okay, I realize I'm certifiable) and I could have easily posted that to the "Show me your Easter basket" thread. (ETA: I hope this makes sense... I read over this post maybe 15 times and I felt it was an interesting point, but couldn't really tie it in right)

Long story short, I wanted to comment because I'd been following this thread and felt like by not commenting I was doing exactly what we were are all saying is the problem. I was letting my fear of saying something wrong keep me from showing support for the people in a community that has given me so much.

@BakerBee: @looch: I agree!

I often read the IF threads, but often feel afraid to say anything because I don't want to come across as insensitive (and actually have already come across as insensitive to those dealing with IF in a non-IF thread). And I literally just reworded that last sentence three times because I was worried about coming across as even MORE insensitive!

But I follow your struggles and I keep you all in my thoughts!

@looch: I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Maybe we can start a new thread about it for the HB community.