Hellobee Boards

@Mrs. Pinata: Oh Mrs. P. I'm so sorry the last couple of days have been rough. Pregnancy announcements are hard anytime but worse when there are other things piled on top. I hope you are matched with an expectant mother soon and that you are able to do the IUI cycle Lots of positive vibes coming your way

Thanks ladies. Being able to have some discussion with him was great! Even if it wasn’t as much as I wanted, it’s a start and that made me very happy. A couple of the things he said really stuck out in my mind and really made me understand why he has such a hard time discussing this

@faithfertility: I love how you worded that! I really do love our life as it is and maybe that’s why I feel the way I do right now!?

@happygal: it’s a weird feeling! I know I want one baby but when I think of the logistics of having one I wonder how we would do it. And, newborns just don’t do anything for me and then I feel bad because I feel as though they should. Then I feel panicked because our lives right now are so not baby friendly… but I’m sure when it happens, it’ll all work out.

@fliegepilzhut: honestly, some days I just wonder if we have been dealing with this for so long that I’m just used to it now.

@lazypanda: good luck with your IUI! I will be crossing everything for you

Af is due sometime soon. I'm usually 28 days on the dot (occassionally 26-29), which is tomorrow but I'm not feeling any cramps or the usual signs so I might be late this month. If so then it would mean that my luteal phase is on the longer side (today is 14dpo), which is interesting.

I had a m/c 2.5 years ago and the due date would have been 04/20/2012. I just realized this morning what the date is and I had a fleeting "we could have had a 2 year old right now" moment but that's it. For the past two years when this date has passed I have been heartbroken, I guess time really does heal all....

@Mrs. Pinata: Aww, thinking of you.

@FliegepilzHut: oh no, that wasn't presumptious at all! I just feel as though at the beginning I was heartbroken, then I felt optimistic, then let down, and now it's just like I'm so used to not getting pregnant that it's not even a big deal anymore. Or maybe it's just a phase. We have actually talked about adoption and it's not something that we feel is right for us.

@Mrs. Pinata: I'm so sorry to hear about the bad news you received. The IUI study sounds great! Fingers crossed for you!!

Sorry I haven't kept up with this thread, but I just read all of your updates and you are all in my thoughts!!

@Happygal: @alohaorchid: I know this is a really late response but we didn't really feel like cruising pampered us that much. If that makes sense? It was fun and enjoyable but I feel like I either needed to be in a group or with kids to really get the most out of it. I liked our all-inclusive resort vacation better.

@Mrs. Pinata: I'm sorry you are having a rough few days! I'm in the same boat.

All, I have been lurking and keeping up and want to reply to everyone soon but I need to vent a little.

I've been lying low lately because I'm feeling pretty bummed out. We got home from vacation and I sort of lost it on Saturday. I need to explain a bit of back story first; the room across from our bedroom is supposed to be our nursery so I haven't touched it too much, it's been a make shift craft/spare room for the last 2 years. Saturday, I took everything out and bought one of those big papasan chairs and asked DH to hang it from the ceiling like a swing. I bought some etsy prints and am going to get some book cases and a side table and I'm turning it into a reading room for myself. I'm sick of looking at this half empty room waiting to fill it with baby things. I'm so tired of this road. I've been thinking about taking a hellobee break but really the IF boards are my saving grace. Lately, I've been feeling like I have no friends that I can talk to. Two of my closest friends are pregnant (and while most of the time I am good with it lately it's been harder) and my other best friend just broke up with her b/f and feels so distant. DH is going to get his SA redone on Friday and I'm a ball of nerves because if his morphology is low again it means we need to do IVF with ICSI (which I have no idea how we will afford) and it also means that we could have known a year ago if our first RE would have done the damn morphology test. I'm trying not to put the cart before the horse but I also want to be prepared mentally for the worst possible situation. DH is talking about selling his dad's boat that he inherited to help pay for the potential IVF and that makes me feel horrible because of the sentimental value. It's just been so hard. I'm sorry this was so rambly, I just needed to get it out.

@MrsTal: Ramble away! First, I think it is great that you are Turing that room into something useful, it can always be changed I too have that room, and it is the....throw crap you don't want to deal with room.....seriously full of junk!!!!!

I pray his SA comes back good!!! I know it hurts to think about the boat and the value, but think about what it can also give you!? All in all that will come when the time comes!

Miss you on these boards!!!!

I agree with he cruise thing too, while we LOVE to cruise, all inclusive resort stays are more our style, I just have a hard time getting DH to fly, he is not a fan!

@Mrs. Pinata: Sorry your day has been hard!

My update: Got prices for IUI and IVF programs today! We are going to go ahead and do the IUI program.

Oh, AF came today, too. Guess its time to move on.

Doing the SIS/ SHG next Wednesday. Guess I'll find out if I have that polyp. If it is a polyp, I might need surgery.

@Mrs. Pinata: Yeah, I'm taking a step back to IUI land but I'm hoping the new diagnosis will be just what we need to get pregnant.

@Mrs. Pinata: I'm so sorry you are in such a funk. It is so frustrating not knowing when it is going to hit. We live in Ohio and I'm starting to look at possible clinical trials that we might be able to get into, there's one for IVF that I'm interested in but it's sort of far away and I'm not sure we qualify. There is also clinic 2.5 hours away that does an IVF guarantee ($18,000 but if after 3 rounds you don't have a live birth you get part of your money back) that I'm sorely tempted to try but with my schedule it just won't work. Also, I can't believe the pregnancy related stuff on TV lately, it has sucked so much.

@FaithFertility: I'm glad to know I'm not alone in having that room. I've felt crazy keeping it that way for so long but we have 4 bedrooms so it has seemed silly to try to furnish it when we don't really need to use it, but I think it'll be good for me. I'm with your DH, I'm not a fan of flying so we tried cruising to save ourselves some flight time but honestly the extra hour on the plane might be worth the resort time lol.

@bluestriped bee: Awesome that you have a plan in place! I hope these IUIs do the trick now that you have a diagnosis.

Also one more annoying thing to vent about. When DH called the clinic to schedule the SA they tried talking him into just waiting for our next IUI. When she wouldn't let up, DH finally said we aren't even sure we are doing another IUI. It's seriously annoying, why would we spend $800 on an IUI to find out his numbers are bad and it won't work when we could just do the SA for $100? If his numbers are bad again we can move on to IVF and use the $700 we saved for that. UGHHHH.

@Kelli_Deluxe: That sounds like a great idea! I may follow your lead and try out the yoga studio I keep meaning to visit (they have a great 1 month trial period rate)...

@bluestriped bee: FX for your SHG! Have you already met with your RE to discuss meds for your upcoming IUI?

@Mrs. Pinata: it's this one http://www.clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01816802?term=Infertility+and+ohio&rank=4 not sure if there are any clinics close to you but worth looking into I think.

@MrsTal: I'm so sorry. I'm glad you filled up that room though. This experience has taught me that you can't put life on hold. I have also felt the need to take HB breaks, but I'm like you and love our little IF group. Lately I've been telling myself, "Just keep on swimming." It ain't a fancy breast stroke, more like doggy paddling these days, but I'm keeping my head above the water, and that's what counts!

@mrs. pinata: I'm sorry you're also having a hard week! It's so tough dealing with that mixture of emotions, but it's important to let yourself feel all of them. Hugs to you.

@Kelli_Deluxe: do you spin regularly? I took a class once and died! I'm so impressed with cyclers.

@FliegepilzHut: RE put me on metformin and dexamethasone and he said we can use Femera and trigger shot.

Although, until we figure out if I have a polyp, we won't be starting an IUI yet. The IUI is tentatively scheduled next month. FX I don't have to have surgery to remove the polyp.

@FliegepilzHut: thanks!

LAST CHANCE to sign up for the IF sock swap is today April 23rd!

Sign up here. [link removed at the request of the OP!]

@MrsTal: That does make sense about the cruise, but it's good that you tried it so you know for the future. I'm sorry you're having a hard time with things lately. We also kind of have that room in our house. Right now it's a "computer room" but we don't have much in there and don't use it. When we first bought the house we talked about how it would be a good baby room because it has built in shelves and then I just kind of left it. In our new house I'm going to make a guest room (we have people stay pretty often) and the other room is going to be a yoga room. Good luck with the SA! I have everything crossed for you that his numbers are good enough so that you don't have to do ICSI. I would feel the same way you are about the boat so I completely understand where you are coming from *hugs*

@bluestriped bee: that's great news on the IUI! I hope you don't have to go ahead with surgery though.

@MrsTal: I'm so sorry it's been so tough. hugs

@FliegepilzHut: Go for it!! We can motivate each other haha

@Happygal: I have done spin once! I will probably die the first class haha. Hopefully alternating it with yoga will help keep me going!

@bluestriped bee: Fingers crossed! Noooooo polyps!