My daughter is 4.5, has been potty trained since she was about 2.5. Potty training her was surprisingly easy- once she got it she had almost no accidents. She’s never had an accident at preschool. Awesome.

Except lately she’s been holding it for so long that she runs crying to the bathroom and sometimes doesn’t make it and pees in her clothes and on the bathroom floor. Almost always this is at our house during a play date with a friend. Last night she fully peed in our (carpeted ) playroom.

She is extremely stubborn and when I ask if she has to go she says no and will often refuse to try without a huge tantrum. I don’t want her to feel shame over these accidents, but I do kind of want her to feel bad enough about them to try and not do it again, you know?

Anyone else go through something similar? Ideas on how to work through it? I should also add it’s always when she is playing upstairs with a friend- if I’m there I see the pee pee dance and eventually make her go. But she’s 4.5 and can play alone with her friends at this point- preferably without peeing in the rug.