Hellobee Boards

I love the due date threads and used to love the support in TTC when that was appropriate for me, the support there is still excellent.
Recently (and maybe it was going on before but I didn't notice it) there seems to be a set group of people almost sabotaging threads with silly high school behaviour.
Maybe as a result of this, there are less and less interesting topics coming up, a lot of the threads seem to be about brands and spending money....maybe because an interesting debate has become impossible?!

I'm surprised at some of the people leaving, kind of ironic considering the main "clique" that's always being talked about here.

I'm bitchy, I know it. But I'm tired of seeing the same 10 topics just reworded and thrown back up.

I'm tired of people ganging up on someone who's not their friend on here. I've made it a point to connect with my friends from here on Facebook or email because I saw this coming.

Sad it's happening and I wish it weren't, but people either need to suck it up and be nice or at least be civil

aw, some of my favs!
guess I missed a lot today

@septca: why do you call yourself a b word?

I haven't been posting as often lately, but for me, the one thing that's keeping me here is some HEAVY board hiding. I have mostly everything but IF and some "Other" hidden from my home page, so I avoid a lot of the drama (obviously not this stuff though, haha). I find that the shit-stirrers tend to stay away from the IF boards, and those boards still have some value for me.

@simplyfelicity: I hope you stay. I hope this doesn't sound crazy, but I lurk on the infertility and losses boards because I feel like you are going through something similar to myself (but I don't say anything because I'm afraid you'll say that my loss is harder, or something, but I'm quite sure it isn't. All loses are really hard) I also lurk because I want something good to come from all of our loses and anxiously await all of your pregnancies and babies.

@spaniellove: I wasn't angry, but I cried (and still cry) a lot when I see certain threads.

@simplyfelicity: Gosh darn it why are you always trying to break up with us?!?! *goes back to holding on one of your legs*

I have also thought about closing my account a few times because one time it did feel like a bunch of girls just ganged up on a simple comment I made but I just decided I was over that thread and stopped reading it. I feel like that happening more and more to others and with some of them they just plain leave. I have even held back on a lot of commenting in fear that that will happen again.

I just wish everyone was more easy going just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean that you need to attack their comment. Is all I'm saying.

I personally probably won't close my account but I will probably be more of a lurker.

I feel like I missed something. Can anyone direct me towards what is happening right now? Losses? Those people left?! When?!

@Arden: Believe it or not, it all started with a thread about a pregnant Duggar.

Since we're being honest.

One of the people who left is part of the change in tone of HB. I'm sure some people are happy she's leaving/gone/pretending to leave & changing her username. Whatever.

I don't have a problem with any user on HB. I like spirited debate. I like snark when it's funny. I can be a bitch, too, when I want to be. But I always read my comments before I press submit to try and make sure I am not personally attacking someone or to make sure it doesn't come across as a personal attack or too bitchy.

I once wanted to start a thread about having a middle class salary but not being able to afford to buy clothes from nice places but opened up HB to find about 5 threads about labels I've never heard of and shit I can't afford. It's cool, we're all living differently but it's every day this label or that label. I shop at the Dollars Deals and Discount store where I get closeouts for $5 for myself. But I digress.

What I'd like to see: Comment on a thread by a user you don't know. Have your thread-jacking private jokes in wall posts or off HB. Don't take everything personally. Think before you press submit. If you agree with someone, say you agree with them and elaborate, can we not have 5 million +1s?

@simplyfelicity: you're kidding. I did miss this.

@Raindrop: That's happened to me a couple times in the past, like last year. People still reference it! Ugh. I was livid and hurt and tried to leave but after coming back finally decided to comment more judiciously.

@spaniellove: you probably know this, but I need to say it out loud: I am so, so glad that you came back.

@MrsTiz: I'm glad you said it...I remember a few responses you posted aand thought to myself "wow, Mrs.Tiz too."

I think sometimes the snark and pile on stemmed from a desire to protect and support. Not always offensive attack mode. Either way when people jump in on the defense or offense it can turn into a big dramatic event. Adding memes to threads flames the situation, and replies to one user pointing out another user's fault in a critical way just doesn't help the situation.

We all forgot how to say "I disagree with what you wrote and here's why." Instead we started saying "you're wrong, I call bullshit, and oh by the way cry uncle!"

The moment users started requesting ways to hide boards and hide users should have been a flag that something was going sour. The moment I muted a couple users and then unused because it affected the quality of my HB experience made me realize this community at this point in time is not a good fit.

We have (had) so many articulate users and now people are leaving or just becoming in active. The diverse chorus of point of views and sharing of ideas is what made HB so much fun. BTW, I do not count myself among the articulate users as I have learned that I clearly have a way of agitating people and truly meant no harm.

@Shutterbug: I love seeing your name pop up. I still pray for your happy ending

I'm not leaving! But I will admit I participate less in certain threads and am much less apt to start certain threads because of drama that I have seen come out of it. That drama is severely outweighed by the love I have for this community. I have learned so much from everyone on here. I have gotten so much priceless advice and support on here. I've made amazing friends. I'll admit that I am addicted to The Bee.

@Arden: I love her too and a lot of the bees who left.