Hellobee Boards

@anonysquire: I'm sorry to hear this if you need any support we are all here for you

@oskarsmommy: Oh no! That stinks Hope it gets cleared up soon and you are able to rest.

I've had a rough couple of weeks with our washer breaking, DH traveling only to come home and have Flu A over the weekend and other misc setbacks. Lots of solo parenting and exhaustion. Hoping things start looking up before baby comes. Had an appointment today, 32 weeks, baby had its head buried down low so we couldn't see it's face, bummer.

On Wednesday night I was doing some light exercises and stretches before bed and I started bleeding bright red blood..I immediately laid down in bed and called my doctor..he told me to not worry as long as I wasn't actively bleeding anymore and if it continues to go to the ER...luckily it stopped but I passed a clot at 3am and couldn't sleep the entire night. The next day I went to my perinatologist and he said everything looked good but I'm still worried and have been having anxiety all day today about it. I've been trying to take it really easy at work too. Ugh, I was so lucky to have a non complicated pregnancy up until now too.

@anonysquire: Thinking of you

@oskarsmommy: @lilyann: You guys are making me so glad my DH doesn't travel for work much! Sorry you've had to deal with so much lately - hopefully things start looking up soon!

@Pinkberrry: So scary! How are you doing?

How's everyone feeling mentally lately? I've been having so many mood swings lately - I'm just up and down and all over the place. I had a mini anxiety attack this past weekend because I was imagining all the worst case scenarios about going into labor and no one being available to watch LO1 - and I haven't been sleeping well, which I'm sure isn't helping things either!

Mentally, I am doing pretty good. DH will actually be traveling the next 3 weeks in a row (home for weekends) and I think I handled that news pretty well, haha. I told him he needs to curb it after that because I will be about 36 weeks and DS2 came at 37.5.

I had the most vivid dream about giving birth last night, even the pushing part. It was my first dream about gender and it was a boy! We fought over the middle name

@anonysquire: thinking of you and your family. I can't imagine the emotions you must be going through.

For me, this is getting more and more tiresome. I catch myself resenting being pregnant and have to do some emotional coaching to remind myself how lucky we were to even get pregnant in the first place. So I'm trying to focus on the things that are fun and exciting about the home stretch of pregnancy. So I scheduled maternity photos to be done and now, of course, I'm paralyzed on how to dress! LOL.

Help me ladies, I have this dress and think it would work well with Kameron's affinity for plaid and his love to dress Colton the same, haha. I need help/suggestions with accessorizing. We will be outdoors and weather reports call for rain and mid-40s weather (fun times).

so, as a much needed distraction from all the depressing things I could be viewing on the internet, let's play dress-up:

@oskarsmommy: omg that's horrible!! Did you have family or friends around that helped dry the place out?

@lilyann: superwoman over there! Is your husband back in town now til you have the baby? I can't even imagine split parenting at this point

@Pinkberrry: did they check you for dilation? I always have some bleeding when I start dilating! Hoping you are doing better now!

@raspberries: I'm not sleeping either! It takes me so long to get to sleep. And I'm thinking of every worst case scenario as well haha. So fun

@JennEn: love the dress!! I'm also at that resentment stage. Well more like just want to be done!! What about some cute tights and booties? Idk, I'm so bad at fashion haha!

I figured I better come back and give a quick update. We're still trying to process everything and there's still so much unknown so it all seems crazy right now.

So last Monday I went in to the 2nd opinion mfm who was actually the 1st mfm that my midwives consulted after the ultrasound at 31 weeks still showing an inconsistency in growth. Her name is Dr. Clark. Well I first had another ultrasound but this one was like 2 hours long and they took over 200 pics and measured every tiny bone and everything. The baby still hadn't grown any in the 3 weeks. Which I know this could mean nothing since I have had 3 different ultrasound techs and ultrasound machines in 3 weeks. But the baby was measuring 2 pounds 7 ounces. The head was measuring right on track and the arms and legs were measuring 8-9 weeks behind and the belly was measuring 5 weeks behind. But the baby is healthy and active and stubborn and adorable. The baby was tiny and I joked with my midwife and the tech "maybe the baby is just a midget" to which the tech told me that the term midget is actually offensive (I had no idea!!!) and the correct term is now little person. So after the ultrasound we met in a consult room with dr Clark and my first impression of her was that she was the kindest lady I had ever met. Like kindness was dripping from her pores. But she said the baby has skeletal dysplasia and specifically dwarfism or achondroplasia which is the most common. And instantly I started bawling. Which I'm sure they all thought I was a monster or something. My tears came from a mixture of worry, with relief for finally knowing a reason after like 15 weeks to just being really scared. It's still a lot to take in. I'm terrified.

Oh and also I had to break up with my midwives and birthing center of course because this mfm will be delivering me. And I'll be delivering at this city hospital where there is a ped skeletal specialist that will be part of my team. So I guess I'm also mourning the birth I wanted. And just so scared about the baby and wondering if I will be a good enough mom. Of course I will adore and love this sweet baby to death but I just hope I do it justice. If that makes sense.

So I think we're at 24 days til induction date (also scared about that!!!) and I'll be 39 weeks then. But since I had my first at 38 weeks and my second at 37 weeks, will I make it that long? I have no idea!! Also since the baby is still under 2.5 pounds and we only have around 3 weeks, I've been buying every single preemie item that I can find. Which is actually hardly anything. It makes it so frustrating. Like I want this to be like all my other pregnancies where I shop too much but there's like 2 pieces of preemie clothes at each store. Really pathetic.

@JennEn: I would probably add some tights and either wear booties or tall boots (camel colored), possibly a jacket or sweater?

@anonysquire: He's actually traveling the next 3 weeks I hope you are hanging in there.

@anonysquire: wow, that is a lot to process!!! I'm so glad you finally have answers, but I don't think you're terrible for crying!! I would have too. It's so hard to know what to expect and there is definitely a "grieving process" for the baby you thought you'd have vs the baby you will have. We all know you won't love the baby any less, but it's definitely going to be a process... thinking of you!!

Oh and I guess this isn't as fun of news but this sweet company makes little teeny nicu gowns for babies that they can wear in the nicu wig wires and tubes or whatever is needed and they sent me 2. The green is up to 3lbs and the red is 3-5 pounds. I'll admit I was teary eyed thinking that I really hate that I will have to use these. Well the red one for sure. Hopefully not the green one!!! But then in the same moment it felt nice getting something fun for baby since shopping for baby has mostly sucked so far with none of my local stores having much of a preemie selection!!! So here's a pic of the cute little gowns it almost makes things seem a little more normal!

@MrsB2012: I'm feeling ok today. Just crampy. I think this is how it's going to be til I have the baby ha, might as well get used to it

How's everyone else today??

@oskarsmommy: nesting over here too- but it's not very productive lol mostly just Pinterest

Actually I have some news! We are buying a house! We've been actively looking for several months now, put an offer on one and it wasn't accepted.

But we actually love this home more- it's so much space, move in ready- but a lot of room for updating. I'm so excited about it!

Here's the kicker, we close march 20 and my EDD is march 27. I may or may not have a baby on closing date lol! AND since closing is a Monday, we won't actually move until that weekend, and will still have to deep clean our entire apartment before April 1. My oh my. It will be interesting

Water broke! I'm in the hospital with pitocin right now. Freaking out!

@anonysquire: goood luck!!

@anonysquire: oh my goodness!!! Ahh good luck!!

@anonysquire: holy crap!! Good luck mama!! Can't wait to hear updates and see pics of your beautiful babe!!

@anonysquire: I know I'm not a March mama but I just wanted to wish you all the best and hope things start moving forward for you!

@anonysquire: thinking about you - hopefully things progress. Good luck!!

@anonysquire: look at him ! He's perfect, congrats! Hope you get to hold him soon.