I don't know why, but I am so worried and nervous that this baby won't stick. This is my first pregnancy and I just am constantly wondering, am I still pregnant? And I find myself looking at every day that has passed since I found out as a milestone - am I nuts or does anyone else have this fear? This BFP happened on our break, but I have been through a kind of a long TTC journey, and I'm nervous this isn't real. When will this fear stop? I am so nervous about my dr's appointment, that I'll go in and they'll tell me that there is nothing there. I just have been around and seen so many pregnancies that did not last that I feel like, why should I be so lucky? I know, this is super negative nancy but I can't help it!!
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I think it's very normal! Miscarriages run in my family so it's been a thought in the back of my mind especially on the days that I don't feel pregnant. If I could, I might take a test everyday to make sure! Lol. My thoughts are though that I will just work hard on my part to do things right for my baby like eating healthy, drinking plenty of water and exercising and hope and pray every day that the baby stays healthy and grows. In the end, that's all we can truly do.
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Your feelings are totally normal. Typically the fear lessens at 12 weeks. Just stay positive!
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Completely normal, especially for the first pregnancy. I'm pregnant with my 2nd and I just had a dream last night that I miscarried. It's hard not to worry, but it gets much better once you can feel the baby move.
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I'm pregnant with my third and I still had that fear every day until I started to feel the baby move. I hope you feel more confident as the days progress
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I'm glad you posted this because I've been feeling the same way.
We had a loss earlier this year. I am so scared it will happen again. I know there is nothing I can do. I've had a healthy pregnancy but am still so worried. I really haven't gotten too excited yet.
My first appointment can't come soon enough.
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@MrsSpadusa: unfortunately continuous testing won't tell you much. If you have a mc or even a blighted ovum there typically will still be a lot of hormone there to result in a positive test. I don't really want false hope or worry over bad tests.
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15 weeks and that fear is still there. Everyday that turns in to a new week is one more blessing that can be counted. Accepting that you are pregnant and embracing that is the best thing you can do for you and your baby. It's something I have to remind myself about everyday and it helps.
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Those fears are completely normal. I felt the same way for both of my pregnancies. The first ended in m/c and I'm currently 26 weeks. The first was due to a chromosomal abnormality that happened at conception and nothing I could have done would change it. Of course, after that one, I was a hot mess for the second pregnancy. I started relaxing a bit at 13 weeks, then a little more each time a milestone hit (feeling movement, viability, etc). I'm still nervous though and I don't think it will ever go away.
I tried my hardest to be excited even though I was terrified because I believe each baby deserves to be celebrated, no matter how long they are here for. I know it's so hard though
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Oh I did that too. Checked TP for bleeding every time. Was terrified of a missed miscarriage and I'd go for an ultrasound and there'd be no heartbeat. Made myself a bit crazy (and honestly - was terrified of having to TTC again after it taking so long in the first place, if I did miscarry). Lessened up when I started feeling movement (which was at 20 weeks for me). One thing that helped was to repeat to myself (whenever I felt myself getting crazy): "today I am pregnant". Over and over and over.
I'm really excited for you. I hope you have a great, healthy pregnancy!
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Very normal! I was really worried during my first trimester.
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I was extremely worried during my first pregnancy. I think it's normal- everything is so new and changing rapidly, and you hear about sad things happening to lots of pregnancies, so it sticks in the back of your mind. I ended up purchasing a doppler for home use, so on days I felt more worried, before there was a lot of movement I could feel, I could listen to that little heartbeat.
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I'm with you--I was scared to take a 2nd hpt this morning for the same reason (the line was darker than last week, phew)! And to schedule my first appointment. This is my first pregnancy so I don't have any personal reason to suspect anything bad, but it just seems so common for so many people. I think I'll feel better after my first appointment, and then after the first trimester, but I also know two women IRL who I am close with and who dealt with second trimester miscarriages in the past couple years...It's definitely scary.
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Oh honey I am so sorry! I was so nervous my entire pregnancy! I bought a Doppler to help my peace of mind because literally till the very end I was nervous.
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12 weeks and still nervous! Can't wait for my scan tomorrow just to have confirmation that everything is still going to plan!
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Thank you everyone - so i am NOT crazy, right? (just a little) and the fear of having to TTC again is a big part of it as well, it was incredibly stressful and straining on my marriage. And for those of you who have experienced a miscarriage, I am so sorry. I have to think positive, right? It's hard!
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@chibee: As someone who had 2 miscarriages and took 8 months to get the very first BFP, I totally understand. Unfortunately, the fear doesn't go away until you have that LO in your arms. Lots of hugs and prayers that you have a healthy and happy 9 months!
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@chibee: You and I can be worried together since you are my due date twin
I worry about it every time. Yesterday I had the tinest, little speck of blood when I wiped (and nothing since. I panicked. This morning I had nausea and some upper belly cramping, and I panicked.
My mom has a history of miscarriages (but that was because of endo), and it has just always scared me. I guess the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I am already showing and my boobs hurt. Otherwise, I wouldn't believe I was pregnant. Very anxious for my appointment at the end of the month and so blessed I work at a clinic.
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i'm in the same boat as you. we were lucky in that we got pregnant right away, but because of this, i keep thinking that things are "too good to be true". aside from some fatigue and other minor symptoms, i don't really feel pregnant either as it's so early on.
last week i got my blood drawn to confirm pregnancy and they performed a trans-vaginal ultrasound (which i was really not happy about). i was between 4 - 5 weeks pregnant and they couldn't detect anything in my uterus. i know that it's really early on to see anything (some do, some don't at ~5 weeks), but this made my worry worse. i was actually disappointed with the clinic and wished they had only drawn blood. good thing is, they did confirm pregnancy and i am having my second draw today to see how my levels are progressing.
after my check up, i talked to my mom about my fears and she told me that worrying wouldn't do me any good at all and to just think positive thoughts. since then i've tried my best to avoid certain pregnancy boards / topics, etc. but it's easy to get consumed with the fear so i completely understand. just get lots of rest, some moderate exercise / walking, eat healthy and try your best to stay away from those m/c boards. hoping for a happy and healthy 9+ months for you!!
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@SupernovaJ: Why were you upset about the u/s? I had one done early before to check to make sure it wasn't ectopic.
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@chibee: Oh my, yes, definitely! I haven't read the other posts yet, but absolutely I feel like that! You nailed the feeling that I'm going to the Dr and they are going to say, no no, silly girl you are not pregnant, or that something has happened.
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@T.H.O.U.: i felt the u/s was a little pre-mature. of course if there are pre-existing concerns or high-risk, it's reassuring to rule out an ectopic pregnancy, but at 4 weeks and a few days, i wasn't able to see anything on the ultrasound which actually made me worry for no reason (saw it today on a follow up appointment). i'm an "ignorance is bliss" kind of person, at least in the beginning. i had read online that some people were able to see the sac at 4 weeks, so i began questioning why i couldn't. my gyno then started using language like "well let's make sure you're pregnant first, and if you are, that it's in the right place". it planted that seed of doubt - things i would have preferred not to think about until later.
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@SupernovaJ: I gotya. I kinda have the same fear that even if we see something on our first u/s, we still have a good 6 weeks before we are out of the first trimester and in a better place.
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I am here, too! I have no idea how I would handle a third loss. And you would think that the u/s would have allayed my fears, but it was so hard to think, now we have seen this little bean, and we still might lose it. Yeah.
I just keep reminding myself that every day with this baby is a gift, and I want to appreciate it as much as possible!
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@LovelyPlum: you are so positive. Love it
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@SupernovaJ: fake it till you make it??
Seriously, though, thank you. I still have huge worries, but I've got some optimism that has come out of nowhere this time...I'm scared out of my mind, but I'm trying to go with it.
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@chibee and everyone: thank you so much for your posts. I've gotten super irrational over the past couple of days and this thread is really helping me (I just barely figured out how the whole April 2014 board works with the different threads and such *snort*)
I love the 'today I am pregnant' and surrendering beyond that. Sometimes, I think my fear is about trying to control the situation. When I realize that I truly have no control, I can relax a little into "Today is what I have, I'm going to be grateful." It's cheesy, too, but I keep hearing Shelby's (Steel Magnolias) little quote "I'd rather have a moment of truly wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." And I think about the good moments I've had since I got the positive. There've been some wonderful, truly wonderful moments with DH, my sister, and my best friend - tears and laughter and all - that we would not have had otherwise. If tomorrow brings something else, I have today and the memory of those moments. Anxiety can wait til tomorrow while I revel in those moments today. *deep breath*
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I think it's completely normal. With DS, I had two very close friends who suffered multiple miscarriages at the time we conceived and I couldn't help but fear the worst because it seemed to be so "common" around/near me and that I couldn't be the lucky one.
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@chibee: Just checking in - how are you? How are you feeling? xx
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I was a total wreck last night about this. I think I came to the conclusion that the last few months were far more traumatic than I have wanted to admit, and I am not dealing well with it. I believe that I am pregnant, but last night I realized that I don't think that I believe that means that I will have a baby
I think it is time for me to get some help, because the constant waiting for the bad news to come is not good for me or for baby.@sweetkeight: I love this. Hugs, chica.
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I don't think I truly stopped worrying until viability, in the 20s. But you'll feel a lot better once you get to 12 weeks, I bet.
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@mrsjyw: i think that's it too, i'm around a lot of people that have trouble maintaining a pregnancy so it just seems the norm to me? Like why should i be so lucky to be able to carry this pregnancy to term?
@Cherrybee: I'm good! super tired, but other than that, really nothing of note! How are you doing??
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I'm on my first pregnancy as well and I have a lot of the same thoughts and worries. Mostly I just try to stay positive, but I wonder the *exact* same thing, especially about next appointment fears as you described. When I saw your post it made me feel better that I'm not alone in these thoughts, so I hope you can feel a little relief about it too.
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@SupernovaJ: I am so with you on the "this was too easy" so it must be too good to be true. Especially since it took us even less effort last time, and it didn't end well. I agree too that an u/s that early would not be good. I'm glad my doctor didn't offer it, because I'm not sure I would have turned it down and I'd have done exactly what you did and gotten worried if I didn't see anything, even though I was exactly 4 weeks on the day I had my appointment.
I'm almost regretting the 48 hour blood draw too. I know it will help me feel a lot better when I get the results (or not, but we're not focusing on that!), but it's really making me more stressed now. Knowing that tomorrow (or gods forbid, monday if the results are late) I may find out that something is wrong is making me more upset. Also, last time my m/c wasn't until 9.5 weeks, so getting through this and even seeing the heartbeat won't really mean much to me, since I saw the heartbeat last time.
So all that to say, here's what I'm going to do to help get through the fears. Right now I'm basically operating on the assumption that it will be fine. I'm pinning nursery ideas and discussing baby names and all that. But I need to do more than that. One of the blogger bees (I'm afraid I don't know which one without digging through to figure it out) did a post about her fears that their adoption won't go through. She said that when she got really worried, she'd go work on something for him. It may have been a quilt? It was her way of saying that she had faith that everything was going to be fine. I really loved the idea, so I'm going to start an afghan for the baby. I'll admit, I'm not confident enough to say it's for *this* baby. But I do believe that we WILL have a baby, sooner than later, and this will be my way of staying positive about it.
I'm thinking something like this, but with white instead of black, and just standard rainbow colors (not so much blue). I already have all the yarn except green and purple, so it won't even be an expensive one to start. What do ya'll think?
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@LovelyPlum: I'm so glad you mentioned help. DH thought I was a little on the weird side when I told him I wanted to go to therapy to deal with the pregnancy-after-miscarriages thing. I'm soooo glad I didn't listen to him, but instead went with my gut! My therapist has been so supportive and it's great to have someone to just cry to. DH is so sweet and really can't handle it when I cry (let's not go into how I'm going to get him through labor crying - haha) So, it's nice to have someone who can hear me cry about it and respond with strength and compassion. I've only had a few sessions and I already feel miles better.
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@Torchwood: I love it. I think it's beautiful and I love the white instead of black. *hug* for your wait for the blood draw. It's wwaaayyy over anyone's head how to deal with that truly... just gotta hang in there *HUG*
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I actually wasn't nervous about pregnancy until my miscarriage....once I had one, I was definitely terrified it would happen again.
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@chibee: I'm good thanks. Having a baby is really, really hard work (which I expected but... yeah...) but it really is worth it (most of the time!). I'm glad you are well. How far along are you now?
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@Cherrybee: do you feel like it got easier since she's been home or harder? I'm sure you are doing an amazing job, I still can't believe you have a real live baby! We've come a long way, haven't we? I am 6w 4d now, going by O date. It seems like time is crawling, was it like this for you in the beginning too?
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@chibee: Oh blimey, yes! Every day felt like a week! Especially in the beginning, when you are so worried. You wake up and the first thibg you think is "Im 5+3 today".... it does get easier but the worry never goes away. Even now she's here I worry about SIDS etc. It is much easier being home and every day Im growing in confidence.... postpartum anxiety hit me hard but Im well on the mend now! So have you told anyone yet?
Seriously, though, thank you. I still have huge worries, but I've got some optimism that has come out of nowhere this time...I'm scared out of my mind, but I'm trying to go with it.
I think it is time for me to get some help, because the constant waiting for the bad news to come is not good for me or for baby.Subscribe to our newsletter
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