My best friend completely abandoned me after my miscarriage. In fact, it happened two weeks ago and I have yet to even lay eyes on her. She went to a party out of town the weekend after it happened. When she texted to ask what I was doing with my evening, I told her how much I was hurting and how much it would have meant to me to have her there, and she stopped talking to me for a week. She's texted me today, after a week of silence, and still seems to think this is a Jane issue - I didn't tell her exactly what I needed. Zero self-reflection. Zero consideration for how her behaviour contributed to this situation. I don't even think she bothered to google what she should do to help.
She doesn't see this as the significant loss I feel it has been, which is all I keep telling myself because it's the only way I can even start to wrap my head around how she's separated herself from me.
I feel like I'm grieving the loss of my baby, the loss of my excitement, the loss of a new part of my relationship with my husband, the loss of the future I was imagining, and on top of all that I'm grieving the loss of my friendship. And she doesn't even seem to notice.
I'm heartbroken on so many levels. And I don't know what to do.
Several years before I had LO, my sister had two CPs. I, too, am sure I said the absolute wrong things. It was hard for me to fathom how attached someone could become to a pregnancy they knew about for a week. I thought about it as a loss of a pregnancy, not a loss of a baby. Since my two losses, I told her how I must have said the wrong thing and apologized (she said she can't recall if I said anything or not.) But I know I didn't reach out to her as I should have because it was just beyond my depth of knowledge (boy do I sound like a teacher!)
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