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I have 2 and I do it alone always. I don’t do baths at night ever and i let my 4yo have a show while I put my 2yo old down

@rattles: I only have two but our routine is very similar. I recently transitioned to having DD1 join while I do DD2’s stories which seems to be working well. Sometimes I’m able to put DD2 down right away and not read her any additional stories alone, but sometimes I will send DD1 to her own room (she actually just lays in the hallway outside the door most of the time) and read one or two books to DD1 before putting her down. I do tell DD2 that DD1 is going to bed, even though I then go into DD1’s room and read her stories. They are 21 months and 4.

When their bed times were further apart, I would have DD1 stay downstairs and do a quiet activity or watch a show while I put the then baby to bed. I know she was young (3) but she did fine and only once did she eat half a cake I had left out

@PinkElephant: I only have 2. They are newly 6 and 2.5. But I do bedtime where I am the only grownup frequently. We do most things together—brush teeth together, bathe together, put on pjs and brush hair. Then I read a story with the 2.5 year old while the 6 yo watches one iPad show. She likes to do this in my room so she is down the hall from me. I stay in the room a little bit while the little one settles. Then when her show is over we go downstairs, read her story and tuck her in.

So ideally bedtime routine starts at 6:45. Little one lights off by 7:15 and big one by 7:45. They are both routinely up by 6 am and we leave the house by 7:20.

@PinkElephant: I don’t do tv before bed because that would ramp them up (unless we’re doing a movie night all together as a special thing). But my youngest is also still in a crib so I don’t worry about her coming out quite yet. But we also use white noise so DD2 has no idea what we’re doing. Sometimes though, DD2 needs to be held to sleep (not her norm but it’s happened enough) so I’ll read to DD1 and give her cuddles while DD2 is still crying for me “mama, I need you now” (she really knows how to get me!!) and then tell DD1 that I’ll try to come back after I help baby sis. DD1 usually always falls asleep before I come back and she also knows not to come into DD2’s room when I’m getting her to bed.

@PinkElephant: In terms of picking things on the iPad or watching a show, DD1 always gets seniority in our house because DD2 gets way too possessive and also just wants to switch shows every 10 seconds. DD2 doesn’t usually pitch a fit at night if DD1 is watching something. I can see that being a problem for your 3.5 y/o though, and things do go more smoothly for us if both are upstairs at the same time. There is definitely a lot of tugging at my heartstrings from both of them—DD1 whimpering outside the door while I put DD2 down, and DD2 from her room while I try to have one on one reading time with DD1. DD2 also climbed out of her crib for the first time last night so this might all change soon!

Of course everything is MUCH easier if DH is home! It sounds like a lot of moms are in the same boat of doing it alone most nights. Strong work mamas!

I only have 2 but they are 3 (DS) and 5.5 (DD) and we have the same reading situation as you. What we do now is have both kids sit in DD's room and read one short picture book together, then we brush teeth. Then I go to DS's room for alone time with him while DD hangs in her room - she usually colors or just plays with the littler toys we keep in her room like Lego's or small figurines. I read another short book to DS in his room, sing a few songs and then its lights out for him. Then I go in DD's room and we read a chapter book before she goes to sleep. DS is falling asleep during this time and sometimes comes in and interrupts us for potty breaks or water, but I have been clear with both of them that if they each want their own alone time with me they need to let their brother or sister have it to, and they both are surprisingly good about it! I'm having #3 in April so it will be interesting to see the wrench that throws into things, but I do enjoy having the alone time with each kid at the end of the day so hopefully we can make something similar still work!

Also it sounds like a long drawn out process but in reality we start at 7pm and both kids are usually asleep by 7:45/8.

@PinkElephant: this is belated but in terms of tv: I am not sure a show before bedtime is what I would choose if I were starting from scratch but it sort of evolved and is working for us. This started when I was nursing #2 and she would sit in the room with us and watch something when we were home alone. Once #2 got older and the noise was a distraction we moved her down the hall to my room.

It is a privilege and we do take it away when #1 is displaying a lot of challenging behavior. On those days she still prefers to bring a few toys into my room upstairs while I am with #2. Her room is downstairs. Also #2 is the most chill agreeable kid so the jealousy factor is not an issue right now.

I think if I were you and your family is not in the habit of tv before bed, I would try to think of some other quiet activities that they could do on their own separately so you could do one bedtime at a time in sequence. Do your two older ones share a room? If not, you could set each up with something in their own space. If they do maybe one drawing at the kitchen table while the other is in the room and alternate? Just ideas.