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I would probably just close my window and use a fan.

We have a similar issue - the neighbours above us (stacked townhouse) smoke with the sliding doors to their juliet balcony open - and their balcony is directly above LO's room. We've had to keep the window shut, or else the smoke wafts in. Not ideal, but there's not much we can do. DH has year-round allergies, so we keep the windows closed a lot anyways...even though in the spring, a nice cool breeze would be lovely.

I can sympathize. We actually moved apartments because of a cigarette problem that couldn't be resolved.

How friendly are you with her? If you are friends, I would probably try to bring it up in a direct but non confrontational way. This is something that is just going to continue and fester and make you resentful, not to mention how awful it is to live with this situation.

Yes, Id just close the window. We had a similar problem with our neighbors in England and we just dealt with it.

We had that problem with a neighbor when DD1 was a baby. We politely asked if she wouldn't mind smoking on the opposite side of her balcony. She was very friendly about it and was very attentive to smoking on the other side.
I think it helped that I baked her treats and took care of her cat when she went away.

@Mrs. Jacks: Maybe an air purifier will help clean the air.

I'd say it's definitely worth a friendly conversation to see if you can find a solution. We had a similar problem with a guy from the shop below our flat smoking out the back right below our baby's window. When DH spoke to him he was mortified that his smoke was coming into our home and very happy to move a little further away

I think you phrased it well here in acknowledging her autonomy with your reasonable request. I'd ask her directly using similar phrasing.

Also a window fan blowing air out instead of in helps too in preventing incoming stinky odors.

This one is pricey but I found it mentioned a few times in forums about eliminating smoking odors. And the bonus is you can get it in cute styles that would look good in a kid's room. http://www.rabbitair.com/pages/select-minusa2

I would keep that window closed and use a purifier, too. I might consider installing better insulated windows, too. And the wind patterns will change, right?....where else is she going to smoke, if not her back yard? Probably not in her house...

I get it--E spent a week in the NICU with PPHN, so we were pretty careful about what she breathed, but I feel like people should be left alone when they're doing stuff on their own property/in their own house, and I would try to fix it on my end before bothering a neighbor

I second the fan idea. I also think if you see she's smoking, you can close the window temporarily. Is she out there a lot? I sympathize; in our old condo I loved having the screen door open since it was the only opening on the back wall of the house. Our next door neighbors also smoked and it would fill the house to the point that it would set off our smoke alarm! I was too chicken to say anything, but I also felt like you in that they had the right to smoke on their deck. (If I were a smoker, I would want to have an outdoor space to relax while I enjoyed my smoke.)

you have to close the window or get a high powered.fan to blow the smoke away.

it stinks but you can't ask her not to relax in her own way back there.

@Mrs. Jacks: I'd put a box fan in the window - maybe a small double one, blowing air out and a purifier.

People aren't mind readers, if you're close, talk to her!

If I like her (and it sounds like you do), I'd close the window and have the air conditioner/fan on. But I'd try to find the best time to bring it up to her ... since you're friends.

However, if I didn't like her, I'd talk to her ASAP and ask nicely. If that doesn't work, I'd move my newborn into a new room and I'll fight the urge to not start my own air pollution of my own directed to that porch (fan + stinky cheese)

@SugarplumsMom: I don't think liking or disliking someone has anything to do with this...?

@Mrs. Jacks: I'd bring it up casually the next time you're together. Sounds like you've got a friendly, neighborly relationship and the kids like each other. So next time you're together, playing, casually bring it up and ask that she smoke on the other side of the house/patio/sidewalk/whatever because the smoke is drafting into baby's room. You can even throw in "I'm so sorry to ask!" but I really don't see the need to beat around the bush here.

I worry if you try other methods, and it fails, you'll have a resentful relationship with your neighbor.

I think SugarPlum'sMom is implying that if she liked the neighbor, she'd want to preserve the friendship and would do so by avoiding bringing up a contentious subject.

I'm in a similar place with noise (though I'm not close with my neighbor. We also live in a 120 year old home (do we all live in the same neighborhood?!) that is split; we have the bottom 3 levels and the neighbor has the top two. Their child comes home from school every day while my kids are napping and enters shouting and stomping, then proceeds to ride scooters, jump off beds, and scream with her friends directly above my kids' rooms. It negatively impacts their sleep, but for the fact that we have to live in close proximity, I havent felt right saying anything, similar to Mrs. Jacks, because they're in their own house.

@mrs.jacks: if you believe you can "let it go", then I'd say just try your own solutions (get a fan, close the window, move the nursery). If your annoyance is going to fester and grow (for me, it might!!), then you probably need to find a gentle way to bring it up and look for a two sided solution. Maybe pose it to your neighbor that way "I'm really sorry to bring it up, but we've realized we can smell cigarette smoke in the baby's room. I would never try to tell you where you can smoke, but I wonder if maybe we can work together on a solution". As a smoker (and a secret smoker at that) she might have ideas.