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I've always lived in a big city (DC) so I definitely think it would be great to live in a small town. People who live here are so money hungry and competitive, it's annoying. I would love to live a simpler life, but it's hard to walk away from our good paying jobs. I love the idea of a small town, but then again, I have never lived in a small town so I may be basing this on what I've seen in movies.

My husband and I both grew up in the same small town (around 10,000 people). We both went away to seperate big cities for university and just happened to move back to the town afterwards to work. We are able to save SO much more money and have a better quality of life than if we lived in the big city. It is also invaluable for us to be so close to family. We love having Sunday night suppers at my parents' place with all the relatives and I think their support will be awesome as our family grows.

Overall we love the lifestyle here. I love going to the grocery store and running into a bunch of people that I know. I love popping over to my sister's place after work. I love walking the streets and knowing they are safe, clean and there are kids galore.

I'm not going to lie - I do miss the features of a big city that has so much to do, but we go to the 'city' around once a month to get our fix. It's made us live simpler and do more easygoing things with friends instead. We snowshoe, ski, go to the beach, have dinner parties, etc.

We may have to move in the future but one of my criteria is that it is a small community!

@runnerd: I have the same regrets! DH assures me that we have plenty of time to do that and that once we get pregnant it will be much easier to cultivate those relationships and join the communities because we'll have a LO on the way... I can't exactly join a mommy group while TTC (other than this site, lol) I do think it is harder in a big city, but the opportunities are definitely there.

I live in a town of 192 people. Including my own family. We are three hours away from the Twin Cities, two from Sioux Falls, and one from Watertown. I love it. Before Lowly was born we would sometimes go to the Cities for plays or museums. Before moving here I lived in New Orleans. The crime was just depressing, and it was much more expensive and... frantic. I do miss some things, especially public transportation since I now have a car-hater, but on balance I'm happier here.

I love small town living. I grew up in a town of about 2,000 and even when I moved away for college, I chose a tiny school in a town of only 40,000. DH and I graduated college and moved to another small town of only 25,000, so both of us really appreciate small town living.

However, we recently decided to move to a suburb of a big city, and I think it was the best decision for our family. Jobs-wise, we probably could have made it work in the small town; we did make it work for 4+ years before we moved. Our final decision came down to the fact that our kids will have so many more opportunities where we are now than they did in our old small town. They can go to a specialized school (for music, performing arts, ski school, religious school, etc...) and they have the option of a lot more different types of activities. If they excel at school (or if they have learning/developmental issues), if they have medical issues, etc... all the resources are 15 minutes away as opposed to 2 hours away. I actually love that our families are a little further drive because it forces us to be a little more independent, rather than relying on our families. It's a hard decision to make, and I think either way there are pros and cons, but these are the reasons we ultimately decided to move to the suburbs rather than stay in a small town.

I live in a town of 40,000 (born and raised), and I hate it. I went to college in Orlando and liked it much better. There is so much more to do. And you're not constantly running into people you know. And everyone doesn't know your business. My husband loves smaller towns, though, so here we are. If something ever happened to him, I would be out of here so fast.

I would never live in the city. It's the suburban life for me! I grew up in a suburb of Montreal, but it was still a very small town. Nice and quiet and all that, but still only 40 minutes from centre ville. Ideal imho.

Personally I also like living at least somewhat close to entertainment/amenities. Like being within a short distance of a movie theatre and a mall.

@runnerd: one more thing....with a kid you won't be getting to the city as much as you might anticipate. Plus I get sorta guilty when I run to the city every weekend instead of digging in and doing stuff here. (Being a homeowner does that too). But if you are close to family I think it is a real benefit. DH and I have frequent date nights and always have a babysitter when we need one. Plus, the more you're out of the city the more you'll find local resources that make you less reliant upon the city's offerings!

We ran into this after our son was born - we lived in downtown Chicago and just felt like hamsters on a wheel. We didn't have much family there. We weren't going anywhere financially and were just stuck. We ended up moving about a year and a half ago to Indianapolis to better our quality of life - my parents moved up here around the same time and my sister lived here already. Then my brother moved back here with his wife this last fall. Our situation was a bit different in two ways - 1) I didn't move back to where I went to high school, so didn't have to deal with running into high school boyfriends and the like at the grocery store or feeling like I was back in the same situation that I always fantasized about moving away from and 2) Indy is really a pretty big city and has a lot of nice things to do and amenities, so it's nothing like moving to a small town. But I WILL say that the financial situation is head and shoulders better and that we DO (even with a two year old) make time to go back to Chicago and have fun with our friends. If you make it a priority you can do it. We make it back there every 2-3 months (and use airbnb.com to rent apartments to make ourselves feel less like visitors and more at home! haha)

I will say, there are a TON of benefits of being around friends/family, esp when you have little ones. And if you are feeling stuck, like too much of your money is just being sucked away, that's a hard feeling to ignore and not do anything about. I know for us we just started feeling trapped and the feeling got worse by the hour it felt like.

I do know that when we were trying, I did not want to move yet b.c I was worried that I would just go nuts with a quieter lifestyle AND worrying about getting pregnant. It was NOT an easy process for us, took us about a year and a miscarriage to get our son. So maybe waiting until shortly before/after a baby is born may not be a bad idea?

For us, we thought a lot about the environment and sustainability. Mr. Jacks has grown up never being able to see another house from his house! He really wanted us to move to rural Montana or Idaho and live on big acreage. I grew up in lots of places, from NYC to small town rural California and some big cities in between. I was happy in almost all those places, actually. But with babies who need input (school, doctors, cultural events) and a mama that needs a large academic medical center for the family's survival, we had to pick a big city. I wanted one with a small town feel and I wanted a commute with a tiny carbon footprint. I also didn't want to drive miles to do my favorite activities (outdoors, snowboarding) and I wanted great access to wilderness without a massive drive. (I hated the Sacramento to Tahoe slog).

We live in the center of our city, but our section of town feels like the small towns we grew up in. In the time I've been typing this up, I haven't heard a single car on our street which is pretty routine for our section of town!

So, I guess as is usual for me, I wasn't willing to sacrifice one of my desires for the other, and luckily found a place where I'm able to have it all!