My MIL gave my shower hostesses a list of her friends to invite... She titled the list "Guests for my shower for my grandchild".
Do I say something to her or just leave it alone? I've never met these people. Part of me feels like she's rude, and part of me feels like there's no harm in letting all her cronies come and occupy her and eat cake. I honestly think its kind of funny!
pomegranate / 3890 posts
wow she titled it that!?!?!?
i guess depending on how many people she wanted to invite would be my deciding factor. if it was only a couple ppl, no big deal (i would prob be a little annoyed but let it go) but if it was a huge list i wouldnt be cool with that.
coconut / 8305 posts
Lol.. don't you just looooooove grandma's?! I wouldn't say anything. I title lists crazy things all the time and in our circle it's pretty common for the grandma's to get to invite their "people", then again my mom helped host my shower. lol
As long as it's not too much on your hostesses I don't think it's worth possibly starting a tif over.
papaya / 10473 posts
@runsyellowlites: My hostesses thought it was hysterical! One was literally choking laughing when she called me. What a trip this lady has become since she became a grandma-to-be lol
pomelo / 5789 posts
Meh. My mother in law did the same. Her ppl almost outnumbered mine.....but my hostess just bought extra food and we rolled with it.
Life is too short! Some of them didnt even speak English!
MILs are the best! Haha!
papaya / 10473 posts
@wheres_c: I figured its win-win... If they don't come, great, if they do come, they keep MIL out of my hair. haha
pear / 1812 posts
Hey, more people equals more gifts right? I would embrace the people you don't know especially if they are bringing you stuff! I mean, gotta find the plus side in it.
grapefruit / 4400 posts
I don't see anything wrong with this at all! I would just let it go.
persimmon / 1436 posts
I just think the tile is priceless! And as long as the hostesses aren't really put out by the added guests, I say the more the merrier!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
Lol my DH said, "uhhh who's giving birh to that baby?!" Then he said, "eh, more people, more presents." Bahaha.
Since you don't seem all that bothered by it (though its very rude), I might let it go and let them come.
grapefruit / 4669 posts
Weird and awkward, but yay for more gifts! The older ladies usually spend more...although some of them "know better than you" what you need, so it's not always good stuff. 
pomelo / 5178 posts
I'd let it go, too. My mon's sorority actually threw her showers when my kida were born. I thought it was sweet, and they all got to participate, which they loved. 
nectarine / 2163 posts
Rude!! HER shower?!
I would prob let it go, like everyone else said... More presents!
papaya / 10570 posts
@grizz: I'm the wrong person to ask about this right now, you know that, so please, please take what I'm going to say with a pinch of salt.....
I'd go off at the deep end. You've seen that film Falling Down, right? Well I'd go full Michael Douglas. She would need to have her list surgically removed from where I'd put it.
Maybe you should listen to everyone else on here. They talk sense.....
pineapple / 12526 posts
The guest list I have written for C's 1st birthday is titled "people I have to feed" lol
I'd leave it alone. Not a big deal.
pomelo / 5469 posts
Do you actually know her friends? I not I think it is totally weird, like when some parents try and invite their friends to their son/daughters wedding. I wouldn't want that!
nectarine / 2085 posts
Wow, that's really rude of her! I would probably just let her invite her friends and seat them all together. Seems like its not worth it to try to change her views of her own self-importance.
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
Say to her, "oops we had a house fire and it only burnt your list, it's too late for you to write another. Maybe when you get pregnant you can invite your friends."
GOLD / coconut / 8266 posts
I'd be more upset at how she titled the list unless she wants to invite more than 5 friends. It's not her shower unless she's the one giving birth. I'd complain to my DH and mother and then try to let it go. There's no reasoning with some people.
GOLD / coconut / 8266 posts
@anonysquire: hahaha, I wish I had the guts to say things like that! Love it!
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
haha, what? Just be glad she's not having her own Grandma-To-Be shower? http://www.grandparents.com/grandkids/you-and-your-grandkids/ababyshowerforgrandma
cantaloupe / 6397 posts
I agree that the title is weird and annoying but I would let it go! She's excited and wants to share that with her friends! Besides that means more gifts!!!
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
@swedishfish: I'm just glad me and my MILs are not on speaking terms and are not in the same state. It makes things easier!
papaya / 10570 posts
@anonysquire: I never thought I'd be envious of your super stressful in-law situation but today I am a little bit..... you're selling it to me, girl....! Lol!
@blackbird: I quite like that idea!! It allows grandma to make a big fuss about how excited she is without gatecrashing the mum's babyshower and making it all about her.
I wouldn't be opposed to her asking if she can invite her friends (we invited some of my MIL's friends to our wedding without even being asked to) - it was the title of the list that sent me over the edge (I was shaking with fury as I was typing my earlier response!!)
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
@Cherrybee: lol I could go forever with the major selling points!
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
@grizz: it depends.. How many people did she invite? Does her guest list impact the budget? Is he financially contributing toward the shower, and if not, does her guest list impact the budget significantly?
Those would be my deciding factors.
I felt extremely uncomfortable at both my bridal and baby shower when my MIL invited guests that had never met me before. I wish i would have spoken up and said something. One woman confused me and my SIL at my baby shower. I was very hugely pregnant and SIL was newly married and very thin. I'm not sure how she confused us. If I remember correctly, I believe this woman was a guest at SILs wedding (but we were not introduced to one another there).
apricot / 355 posts
My MIL wanted me to invite her bestie (who lives in the same city yet I have never met in 8 years of marriage) and some relatives and step relatives that I have met once or twice (also living in the same city). I said no. I wanted my shower to be more intimate and not have to be "on" for strangers. I wanted to spend time with the people I am closest to. It was also a seated shower at a house, so space was a legitimate issue. Grandma's often host showers, which if she had thrown me a shower, I would have clearly let her invite her people. That said, if it doesn't bug you, it is not worth rocking the boat. My MIL still showed up with a gift from her BFF. She brought it in after the shower was over and left it by the front door without mentioning it. She either was trying not to make a big deal of it or was being passive aggressive... Although, she could have dropped the gift off at any other time if she weren't be passive aggressive.
GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts
I totally think it's crazy and crazy rude, but I would let this go. Trust me, there will be plenty of other issues for which you will want to throw down . . . not picking small fights will go a long way toward maintaining the upper hand.
I have been dealing with this now for a while, in case you couldn't tell. (((hugs)))
watermelon / 14467 posts
This happened at my wedding. My grandmother insisted that we invite 75 of her nearest and dearest (including sorority sisters), and none of them came. It was a huge hassle and drove up the cost of invitation printing/mailing.
pear / 1570 posts
@anonysquire: omg your responses kill me. love it!
i say let it go. @MsLipGloss is right ... there will be other bigger battles to stand your ground on
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
@blackbird: I would love it if my mom had a grandma-to-be shower with all her work friends! I found it so awkward to have them at my wedding shower. I don't know these people!
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