Hellobee Boards

I've never had a NICU baby so I can't even imagine what you guys are going through. You may have already done this but could the baby "gift" your son with a special big brother gift? We bought my son a power wheel jeep as a new sibling gift from his sister at age 4 and he still loves that thing at 6.5. Also, can you try to take several pictures each day and share them with him? Maybe your son could help decorate the baby's bed or room area by coloring some nice art and you could take some pictures with the baby in front of the artwork? Also, do you have any family or close friends around that could take your older on a special day that is all about him? After I had my second (again no NICU so not nearly as difficult on everyone), my two sisters brought my son out for a fun day (museum, special lunch, etc.) to celebrate him becoming a big brother. Obviously you have lots of very pressing things to worry about but maybe someone a bit more removed from it all could help him feel special about his new role.

My daughter was 3.5 when little bro was born. Not nicu so don’t have any ideas there but she got a present from her little brother and she still talks about that thing (she’s six). We got her a camera (Vtech) that actually works and she took pics of baby, visitors, gifts that were sent, etc.

Aww, this sounds so hard. I don't have any firsthand experience with the NICU with my kids, but I remember my little brother being in the NICU when I was a kid and he was born. I was 4 at the time, and my memory of it is patchy. I remember him coming home from the hospital and I remember bits and pieces of him being in the hospital, though nothing about the day to day stuff. He was there for about about three months, and as I look back on it through a mom-perspective now, I realize how incredibly hard that must have been for my parents. I do remember my mom started taking me out to lunch periodically for special mommy-daughter dates sometime through that time, and I thought that was super special since it's not something we did often. And my parents had a stuffed bear that they carried back and forth from the hospital for me to play with at home and to let the baby "have" while they were there. Thinking back to the kind of paces and germy adventures I put that bear through, my hunch is it never made it near my brother - but as a kid, I never questioned that and just thought it was neat that we shared the bear.

I hope your son gets to come home soon so you can settle in at home to a new normal all together.

DD wasn't yet 3 when DS was born and spent eight weeks in the NICU/hospital. I really don't have any advice because as a family we really struggled during this time. I just wanted to send love your way and let you know I think it is ridiculous that your NICU doesn't allow young sibling visitors. Maybe I am missing something, but that seems like an antiquated policy.

One thing I wish I would have done is had snacks (that didn't have to help with) and special toys available while I pumped for DD to distract her. Pumping was the hardest part for her because I could not really do anything to help her.

Funny story. Once DD found a ribbon on the floor once amidst all this. She held it up to her belly and closed her eyes. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Shhhhh... leave me alone, I'm pumping".

@lilyofthewest: I'm so sorry you're going through this. As PPs mentioned we all really struggled during the NICU time. My daughter was just about 2 when my son was born. He was in the NICU for over 3 months. I honestly dont know how i made it through, but just took it day by day.

I tried to keep my DDs weekly schedule as normal as possible but did take her on special outings when I could. She would also often sit next to me and play while I pumped. If you don't have a hands free pumping bra, I'd recommend getting one. That way I could still kind of play with her while pumping. We spent so much time in the spare room pumping, she still refers to it as "the pumping room" even though it's been about a year and a half since I pumped in there.
Hang in there. I promise later on that the NICU will be a distant memory.

@caitcat: aww that's really sweet with the bear idea! Wish I thought of that when my son was in the NICU.

@lilyofthewest: how are you and baby?

@lilyofthewest: thinking of you we had a six week NICU stay this spring 3 hours from home and big brother was about to turn 4. It was a tough season. Just do what you have to to get through it. If that means extra screen time, gummies, fast food. I will tell you that nine months later big brother is thriving and none the worse for this experience. He was so glad to get us all home together he even helped wash bottles for the first two weeks! Please reach out if I can help in any way.

@lilyofthewest: re parking do they have a weekly rate? We saved money that way. That’s great news that baby is making progress. But the increased commute stinks. Can LO1 visit at the new hospital?

@lilyofthewest: oh no! I’m sure it won’t be long now. How many weeks is he corrected?

@lilyofthewest: that’s great news the new facility has some positives especially that lo1 can visit. Hang in there! I hope you get some answers and baby continues to make good progress. ️

@lilyofthewest: YAY!!!

@lilyofthewest: oh I'm so glad!!! He's feeding well?!!!

That's great! I hope he's doing better!

@lilyofthewest: how are you and the little guy?