Hellobee Boards

@bhbee: I was in the same position a month after our loss - worried that we wouldn't be able to try again for awhile due to work schedules but thankfully my cycle cooperated. I'm sorry, having to worry about whether it will even be feasible to try sucks. I also find it hard to see people who are due around the same time that I was. I'm really happy for them but it's just a tough reminder... My husband still talks about kids in a really hypothetical way, like "well maybe, if someday, we have a kid..." Makes it seem far away...

I'm doing pretty good. Got a reminder for my first appt today - I thought I'd scheduled it with the ob practice in the same hospital as my re. That is who I called, and a nurse called me back and just identified herself as from the hospital. However, the appointment is in their high risk MFM clinic. I was a little surprised they'd designated me high risk and nobody told me this or why, but anyways... First appt is right at six weeks, I feel pretty detached and not too worried yet but I kind of wish they'd wanted to set it up for a bit later. My main concern is seeing a low heart rate and having the same limbo as last time - could just be early, or could be non-viable.

@bhbee: Thank you That's awesome that you had a good experience and got released fairly quickly.

I hope that you are having a good weekend and some distraction from the in between limbo feeling. Really hoping that things work out for you with timing this cycle. What CD are you? I hope the random post D&C cramping has subsided as well. My first loss cycle was weird and I was kind of expecting that of my second cycle as well, but I went right back to ovulating on schedule, though the cramping took a bit longer to completely go away.

@periwinklebee: thanks I have been better since I wrote the post. Feeling more zen about this week too. We can try on cd12 and then not again until end of cd17. I recently looked at last year and I tend to ovulate between cd15-20 so it could really go either way! I had to laugh that now I will be praying for my opk to stay negative until at least cd17. Worst case I ovulate on like cd16 but if so at least less worrying about bd timing and maybe I can relax more over the 2ww. haha, that never happens. I'm ready to poas right now

A friend at work who was due with her baby a day before my due date (with my first loss) had her baby today. Surprisingly I feel nothing but joy for her. I thought maybe I would feel sad but I don't, and I'm really happy about that.
I feel optimistic about the future and just know that things will be ok. Hopefully that feeling sticks around!

@mrskansas:

@periwinklebee: I have noticed the bladder thing too! I never thought about healing but makes sense. I also get that feeling close to ovulation. And then I think how lucky men are not to have all these things to deal with!

@bhbee: Yeah, at first I wondered whether it was some sort of permanent change - and was a bit worried about scar tissue - but it did eventually go away. As for men, omg, tell me about it. I know same sex couples face so many barriers, but I'm still jealous because I would love so much to tell my partner "next time you're doing this." Hah hah. My latest was explaining to him (again) that how crappy and exhausted you feel is not proportional to the current size of the fetus, lol.

@mrskansas: Happy birthday!!! Any fun plans? My birthday this year happened in the middle of my CP, which was blah. But my husband got me a season pass to the beach so I'm hoping we can kind of celebrate it all summer with weekend outings... I hope you have a wonderful day and that the next week until POAS flies by!

@mrskansas: hugs don't beat yourself up! We're all there some days.

@periwinklebee: oh geez that would be adorable. I am the biggest football fan so of course they would have Chiefs onesies! Lol.

@periwinklebee: Will do! As long I get to see yours in what I assume will be a Patriots jersey

@periwinklebee: hmm well good point. I think the Pats are probably worse. My dad is an avid football fan and he and his wife own a sports store so needless to say my daughter has an endless of supply of all things Chiefs related.
It's fun to dress them up!

@mrskansas: I struggle with jealousy as well. I love my sister and we are very close, but she has 2 kids and has never seen a BFN. She's tried to conceive a total of 5 months in her life and got a BFP all 5 months, though 3 turned out to be chemical pregnancies. She pretty much knows that if she has unprotected sex during her fertile period she will get pregnant since that has never not happened.

I was hoping I'd be like her when I started ttc, but that hasn't been the case.

@mrskansas: I'm so sorry Ugh, I really hope he didn't forget and is planning to surprise you with something later today. Thinking of you and sending lots of healing thoughts.

@periwinklebee: @PeaceLily: Thank you both I had to take an early lunch just because I couldn't hold it together any longer. Of course I ended up crying in my car for about 30 minutes but I feel a lot better now.
I do get off work at 3 today so that will be nice.

I seriously do not know what I would do without the support of you guys.

@periwinklebee: I'm so sorry you're struggling with your feelings about your pregnancy. I know I will feel the same if I'm ever pregnant again.
Can you call and explain your history and see if they will see you sooner? That's a long time to go in between appointments.

@mrskansas: You will be pregnant again. I saw a stat that made me think of you when i was googling around for loss probabilities by week. If you've had a previous healthy pregnancy, even three losses doesn't increase your chances that much of having another miscarriage (and I think they're not counting chemicals as losses). And this is especially true if you're younger. Odds are definitely still in your favor

I think I have to wait a long time because I wanted to see a popular doctor. If you'll take the doctor with low ratings they let you in right away, if you want one of the better ones they make you wait in order to balance out demand. My RE last time had a pretty lousy bedside manner which really didn't help, so I decided to just wait it out. They weren't going to do an ultrasound anyways unless there's bleeding, so I'm not sure I get more reassurance by going in earlier. From what I've read you can't reliably expect to hear the hb on a home doppler until 10-12 weeks, but depending on weight and orientation of the uterus, lots of women are able to hear it in the 8-9 week range. If we make it to 9 weeks without further problems, I'll probably give the home doppler a try then (with low expectations). I feel like I might also be a bit more optimistic if I could get a break from the nausea. Nurses' line says they called in the diclegis prescription twice, CVS says they didn't receive it, worried that this is not going to get sorted out before the long weekend and a business trip next week... ugh...

@periwinklebee: I do think waiting for a better doctor is the right choice. You'll thank yourself when you have to go to the doctor every week at the end of your pregnancy

I have heard of a lot of women hearing heartbeats on dopplers at 9 weeks so hopefully that is the case for you! Only a couple more weeks!

I do think I have a pretty good chance of being pregnant again. My RE has never seem concerned with me since all my losses have been so different. It's just hard to believe that when I've gotten pregnant so easily in the past and now I'm not getting pregnant. Only time will tell though. I'm hoping this is my lucky month.

@periwinklebee: still negative today thank goodness. If I got a positive tomorrow at least we could try Sunday night and have a shot. And my cm does not make me think tomorrow is a sure thing either way but who knows.

Honestly I'm all mixed up lately. I was somewhere full of pregnant people today and felt really sad that I should be a few days from my anatomy scan and I'm taking opks with minimal hopes instead. And then I feel really guilty because I already have two great kids and i remember how it felt when it felt like #1 wouldn't happen, then #2 wouldn't happen, so what do I have to complain about. I guess i'm just still struggling at times with the change in expectations. Somehow I have to figure out how to just live in the moment for the summer and if nothing happens by the fall, worry about how to move forward then.

@periwinklebee: thanks for the wise words I think it did make it worse that I was talking to another mom with an October due date.
I was thinking though that if I do manage another darkening bfp ... maybe I can convince myself to just feel joy (aside from the physical symptoms). I'm pretty sure it would be our last pregnancy whether it stuck or not and maybe that could help me enjoy it and push aside the fear. No idea until I get there but it's a nice thought.