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TTC after loss

  1. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @delight: I know! It's ridiculous, this waiting. Mine were so slow to rise... but yet so slow to fall.

    My biggest fear is that I won't be able to start a new IVF cycle before the clinics all close for the holidays... that would be devastating.

  2. Nutella

    persimmon / 1045 posts

    @jaguar: when do they close? Still only November now...

    Adding that I really hope that's not the case!

  3. mrsmacandcheese

    blogger / clementine / 985 posts

    I'm poking my head in here -- CD1 after miscarriage #2, and my NP said we're good to go for trying again. I don't know if I want to go back to temping/tracking or just rest on the fact that my cycles are relatively regular and save some of the stress. Currently freaking out a bit that my dad is gonna be in town for the next two weeks; he should be gone by O-day but I was kind of hoping to try SMEP (without actually telling my husband because he'll feel too much pressure). Gonna have to have awkward parent-in-the-house sex, unless I find a way to send him out WITH the toddler in the evening sometimes.

    I'm trying to not get my hopes up too hard, because we've been at this since May, but I feel like we can at least get started again, now.

  4. Crystal

    grapefruit / 4028 posts

    @LibbyLou: ❤

    @jaguar: how are your hcg levels?

    @MrsDragon: can you just do it really quiet in the evening? Good luck!

  5. mrsmacandcheese

    blogger / clementine / 985 posts

    @Crystal: The air mattress setup is right under our stupid squeaky floor but I might clean up the storage room downstairs and set the bed up there so it'll at least not be right underneath!

  6. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @Crystal: They ROSE. To 22. I am terrified this is sinister, they are saying it's normal to rise? WHAT? It's a miscarriage. It dropped to 8 last week. Why would they rise unless something was retained? This loss is never ending.

  7. Nutella

    persimmon / 1045 posts

    @MrsDragon: good luck! I know how hard it can be to ttc when there are houseguests! Hopefully you can get some quiet couple time in!

    @jaguar: oh no, so sorry it's dragging out like this

  8. Crystal

    grapefruit / 4028 posts

    @MrsDragon: shower? Closet? Lol, sorry, I just know that desperate times call for desperate measures!

    @jaguar: oh no!! I'm so sorry.

    I have a dr appt Friday where I'll get all my lab results back. I'm getting a little nervous.

  9. catlady

    grapefruit / 4988 posts

    @MrsDragon: Good luck! Hope you guys can figure something out.

    @jaguar: I'm so sorry. Hope they go down again soon. This must be so so frustrating.

    @Crystal: Good luck at your appt. Hope you get some answers soon.

    I'm still waiting for AF to come back after my D&C a month ago. I know it hasn't been too long yet but I'm getting restless. Just want to get this show on the road again.

  10. Crystal

    grapefruit / 4028 posts

    @catlady: I think mine took about 6 weeks?

    Thanks for the good wishes. ❤

    I have go to a coworkers baby shower later today. i wish these things weren't so hard.

  11. catlady

    grapefruit / 4988 posts

    @Crystal: I commiserate. My co-worker (who is the only other woman in my whole office) is due in 4 weeks. Plus she's at the complain-y stage of pregnancy (which I totally get but...). It's hard.

  12. delight

    pomelo / 5326 posts

    @jaguar: what the heck?! So annoying and confusing for you! Hope you get some answers.
    I'm
    Supposed to go for bloods today but I still had a light positive yesterday so I think I'll wait another day or two. My bleeding has finally stopped....28 days later..... gRrrrrrr.
    @Crystal: good for you for going to the shower. I have definitely missed showers before because I just couldn't handle them!

  13. mrsmacandcheese

    blogger / clementine / 985 posts

    @Crystal: Hah! The only shower IS downstairs; my husband is renovating the upstairs bathroom.

    But I set up the bed today and put it in the other room in the basement, which is under our daughter's room/the hall closet moreso than our room. I don't really know how I'm going to explain why I moved it from the place we usually set it up, but whatever. Realistically I don't think we're going to be having all kinds of sex this week (I cannot believe how heavy this first post M/C period is!) and next week, if we do SMEP I don't want to really worry about starting until probably CD10 because I ovulate late and definitely don't want to burn out early. Mostly just trying to not overthink and freak out, because that never ends well.

    @catlady: I'm having a hard time with complain-y people (at ALL stages!). If nothing else I'm learning that I will definitely be reeling it in if I ever get pregnant again.

  14. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @delight: The ongoing bleeding is the worst

    Nobody can tell me why it's gone up. They re-ran labs and still a 22... so we have to just wait for repeats next Tuesday.

  15. Nutella

    persimmon / 1045 posts

    @Crystal: good luck for the appt! Nerves are understandable. Also sending good luck for the shower! I went to a baby's birthday party the day after our scan showing no HB and I really hated how hard it was.

    @catlady: hope AF arrives soon - that wait is excruciating. Mine took 41 days and was heavy 😔

    @delight: good luck for the blood tests, hopefully all out of your system soon!

    @jaguar: bring on Tuesday & some answers

  16. Crystal

    grapefruit / 4028 posts

    @Nutella: you are stronger than I. I could not have done that. 😢

    @MrsDragon: ummm, better air flow in the new bed location? Lol. I hope he doesn't ask so you don't have to make up an excuse!

    @delight: I'm so glad it's stopped, that's the worst.

    @catlady: my coworker has been Complaining about his new baby not sleeping. I totally get it, but ugh. Hard to keep a smile on your face.

    @jaguar: ❤

  17. Zbug

    persimmon / 1355 posts

    Ugh I have to go to a baby shower for my friend who is due a week after I woukd have been due. And another friend told me she's exoecting again (out of a group of six friends). Ugggghhhhh

  18. Crystal

    grapefruit / 4028 posts

    @Zbug: ugh, I'm so sorry.

  19. Shantuck

    pear / 1767 posts

    @Zbug: Just saw that you were back on here. I'm so sorry. Sending hugs.

  20. Nutella

    persimmon / 1045 posts

    @Zbug: that sucks, I'm so sorry dear! Look after yourself...💙

  21. mrsmacandcheese

    blogger / clementine / 985 posts

    @Crystal: Didn't ask! Phew.
    @Zbug: I'm sorry. That's a lot to deal with all at once.

  22. catlady

    grapefruit / 4988 posts

    @Zbug: I'm sorry! Hugs.

  23. Silva

    cantaloupe / 6017 posts

    I've been posting on the POAS page, but we're in our first TWW since the miscarriage.
    Day one: FREAKING out. This cycle has been eerily similar to the cycle we conceived/miscarried and its killing me. I accidentally got glutened last weekend (which happened last time too, I have celiac disease and sometimes play it fast and loose at restaurants rather than making a big deal about it). I had only small amounts of EWCM, and I had to really check internally to see any- usually I have a lot more.

    Hopefully I just won't get pregnant (I mean, or it will stick- but obviously my brain isn't thinking about that!), but I"m freaking out that I will inevitably miscarry again because it was a "bad" cycle to get pregnant on (with the gluten and what not).

    Plus, we did EOD sex this time and it was HARD. When we conceived my daughter we did ED for like a week and it was fine. Obviously a lot has changed since then, and my poor, dear husband wasn't able to do it every day. So I'm also already anticipating months of torturous TTC high stakes sex.

    Ok. Thats my anxiety ridden rant for the day. I will go back to sipping tea and trying to calm myself.
    Hugs to everyone, what a mind fuck this all can be.

  24. mrsmacandcheese

    blogger / clementine / 985 posts

    @Silva: I'm thinking of you. I'm not looking forward to the high-stakes TTC sex either... we finally had it dealt with a bit better, got pregnant again, and now I have to figure out how to get back into it without scaring my husband off completely. Good times.

    Sending you lots of love during the TWW!

  25. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    DH has no interest in "sex for procreation" at this point.

    I think until I get more testing done (January or so) and meet with a NaPro doctor to look further into what's going on with me, we won't be "trying" persay.

    I've switched to Creighton charting so it should be easier for him to read charts and know where in my cycle I am (I mean, it's green for infertile and baby stickers for fertile, could it be any easier?). I think we'll be NTNP until we can figure out what/if anything is wrong with me

  26. Silva

    cantaloupe / 6017 posts

    @MaryM: I really hope you guys get some answers

  27. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @Silva: Me too. I hope we can quickly identify something that's fixable.

  28. catlady

    grapefruit / 4988 posts

    @Silva: Ugh, the first TWW is so hard. I remember last time, I drove DH crazy (and I think it ended up being an anovulatory cycle anyway). I am really hoping we can be more laid back about it this time. So hard though. Thinking of you.

  29. LibbyLou

    kiwi / 739 posts

    @Silva: funny I used the word "mindfuck" to describe ttc today too.
    I also have a group of six friends with 3 pregnant and 2 just delivered. The 3 are right after my loss due date. And they're all on their second...it sucks sometimes.

    I also keep comparing EVERY cycle to the one that worked. It's insane. Interested about the gluten- my DH has celiac as well- do you think that a trace of it caused the loss? (That's being 100% earnest- I know how horrible gluten is for your personal internal body). It's hard telling, I know but seems like it would be "easy" to pin it on that. Do you take activated charcoal when you get gluttenized? That's what DH does and it helps (?)

  30. Nutella

    persimmon / 1045 posts

    @Silva: hugs lady! A mindfuck it is! And hear you on the high-stakes ttc sex
    Good luck on the tww, my fingers are crossed it unfolds in the best possible way

  31. delight

    pomelo / 5326 posts

    @Silva: I hear you on the high stakes DTD. I am not looking forward to getting back into it. I'll be freaking out with nervousness when we enter our first cycle back at it. @MaryM: I don't think we will be TTC until after we figure out what's going on with us. We have an appointment in December with the clinic.

    My stupid HCG came back at 12. I have to go for another draw in two weeks. I finally stopped bleeding though so that's good. I just wish my HCG would go back down.

  32. Silva

    cantaloupe / 6017 posts

    @LibbyLou: My doctor doesn't think gluten caused the m/c. I kind of believe her. I don't think my body was super healthy when we conceived because I had been on vacation and gotten glutened a few times. But, it was a blighted ovum which is most likely just a genetic abnormality.. That said, untreated celiac is a cause of infertility. So obviously I'm going crazy thinking that means that my slip-ups will cause problems. I'm trying to reassure myself that getting gluten basically just means I"m sick- my body has an immune response. And people who are sick get pregnant all the time. It definitely delays my ovulation pretty commonly.
    If I miscarry again, then yes. I will blame gluten no matter what anyone else tells me.

    I've never tried activated-charcoal! I have a concoction of gas-x, kombucha, and tums that takes care of my worst symptoms. I've found the kombucha (and other probiotics) help my get over it more quickly.

  33. Zbug

    persimmon / 1355 posts

    @LibbyLou: I do the same comparisons. It's impossible not to. I also have weird coincidences like I had dentist appointments when I was barely preggo for both losses, and I had dinner when I was preggo but didn't know it yet with friends we only see a few times a year both times as well. I need to get out of my head.

  34. Zbug

    persimmon / 1355 posts

    @delight: sorry abt the hcg. I tested down to negative, and it was so frustrating to see continuing bfps. Hope it's down soon!

  35. mrsmacandcheese

    blogger / clementine / 985 posts

    @Zbug: both times I miscarried I had just bought maternity clothes the day before. I know the two are not connected but if I get pregnant again I'm not buying mat clothes for a loooong time.

  36. Zbug

    persimmon / 1355 posts

    @MrsDragon: Exactly. I'm also not posting in the due date boards until...I don't know...maybe not until I'm pushing out a baby.

  37. mrsmacandcheese

    blogger / clementine / 985 posts

    @Zbug: Same, I had to excuse myself from two and it sucked. I wish I could regain that excitement but I don't see it happening.

  38. LCTBQE

    nectarine / 2461 posts

    Hi, all. Joining if you don't mind--I think I need your collective expert support.

    Date of loss: We started trying in late June. I got pregnant the second cycle, it was a missed m/c, I had the D&C around labor day. We waited a full cycle to try again, I got pregnant for a second time in October, my numbers never doubled properly, and I miscarried again (this time naturally) last weekend.

    How long are you waiting to TTC again: my OB told me to wait another full cycle; not sure how long it will take to get my period again.

    Any kids: none; I'm trying for #1.

    How are you feeling? alternating between numb and depressed, with spells of self-loathing and loneliness in between.

  39. Nutella

    persimmon / 1045 posts

    @LCTBQE: hello sunshine! Glad to see you - wish it wasn't on this board though, but I guess it's the best place for now
    Did you decide to talk to your OB about whether you need to wait the full cycle to start again? Hope the spells of feeling crummy start to fade out soon

  40. Silva

    cantaloupe / 6017 posts

    @LCTBQE: I'm so sorry. Did your doctor give you any idea about when they might pursue action or testing? I know some docs will come up with a plan after two back to back m/c s.
    I hope your period returns really quickly.

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