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I am so sorry this was handled this way. I am furious for you. I would print out and take all your emails to your doctor Tuesday to discuss how this was handled.
I wouldn't read into your symptoms too much, they can be so unreliable. Unfortunately regarding your betas, a drop like that does indicate a miscarriage. I am really hoping there was a mix up in results, thinking of you and so sorry this had to fall on a long weekend with no way to get ahold of the doctor.
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@stiletto_mom: my symptoms vary so much from day to day. One day, I am so sick but the next I feel like normal.
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@Mrs.Pinecone316: Tuesday is only blood. Still no appointment with the doctor. But depending on the results I will be asking again to make an appointment.
I just think their clinic relies heavily on email correspondence rather than phone.
Future emails I will be BCCing to the doctor.
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That's such poor practice to give results over email. I can understand if the result is positive. My doctor would email me and say "you pass the diabetes test!" Kinda results, but whenever something that is of concern, they should definitely call and discuss. Like when I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. So mad for you! You deserve better care. It is so nervewrecking to hear that your hcg levels are dropping. You also mentioned she said "it is important we see the beta is zero". I understand what that means because I've been through it but had little knowledge about it prior. My doctor was calling me 3 times that week my chemical pregnancy happened.
I hope you find more answers soon. -
@stiletto_mom:
This is complete and utter BULLSHIT.
Regardless of whether or not the doctor is popular.
Regardless of whether or not she's busy.
It's BULLSHIT.To me, and maybe this is just me, BCCing the doctor is not enough. You DO NOT give that kind of bad news, if that's what it is, out via email, ESPECIALLY when you asked, multiple times, for clarification. If it were me, I'd already be in an ER, because that's insanity. Either way, you better believe I would be AT THEIR DOOR FIRST THING when they opened on Tuesday. Screw if you have an appointment or not. I would be raising high holy hell, because that is completely insane. SO NOT OK.
Hugs, lady. You do not deserve to be treated like this!
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@Snowybreeze: I agree. I've received good news, like "hooray! Your bloodwork is normal" over an electronic portal. And I've also received info on my betas via voicemail, although one time they made a mistake in the first voicemail the nurse left, and she had to call me back with the correct (worse) results. But I gave them permission to leave messages on my phone. You still should not be leaving them on an email. An email saying "call me back"? Sure. Otherwise? No.
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Hard to say with symptoms. My last two losses were so early I barely had any - but I know when I lost my later pregnancy, I had red flags because my symptoms lessened - that was at 11 weeks though.
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@stiletto_mom: I wouldn't read too much into symptoms. My first missed MC, even when I knew the baby was "gone" I still had every symptom and felt very pregnant the week before my D&C. Another missed MC and I felt early on that my symptoms had lessened. I really think it varies.
That being said, I do still think that a beta drop like that isn't promising. I'm so not trying to hurt you and I hope and pray you come back and tell us all some incredible story about how they made a mistake or something. But I also want to be honest with you.I too would go to the ER for betas. I would take a book and a movie or two and camp out and just expect it to be a long day of waiting. I would at least felt like I was doing something. But that's me, everyone is different.
And, lastly, I don't think it matters that your doc is popular or handles a lot over email. It's still inappropriate. I go to one of the best IVF docs in the country, but he still has taken the time to call me directly with any bad or potentially upsetting/confusing news. I even had another doc in his practice with horrible bedside manner tell me some upsetting things that weren't even true. When I told my primary RE he literally slammed his desk and was furious with the other Doctor and had a conversation with him about it and put a note in my file that I should never have to see him again. So I really think you should tell your doc about these emails, it's possible he/she doesn't even know and would be as floored as the rest of us.
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As far as symptoms go, with my first m/c, in retrospect my symptoms lessened a couple days before I started bleeding. They did not go away for weeks however (I have a blog post about it, and that was one of my complaints- still feeling pregnant when it was just a cruel reminder). And with my two pregnancies that were viable, I'd have extended periods of time (days at least, maybe weeks) with no symptoms, which freaked me out. It's just not a reliable indicator.
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I'm going to try to "tough it out" until Tuesday.
But what can I do over the long weekend to stop feeling?
I don't want to start binge watching anything (since my shows are all returning this month: Walking Dead, Vikings, Grey's Anatomy, Agent Carter). Should I go out? Or stay home and "bed rest" myself?
Valentines and Family Day everywhere will be packed. And man, do I miss raw oysters.
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@stiletto_mom: When I was waiting to confirm a miscarriage, we binge watched shows and got take out. I didnt want to be around people other than my husband.
Eta: I wouldn't worry about bed rest per se.
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@simplyfelicity: Thanks, DH gets stir crazy too, so I don't necessarily want to trap him in the house with me.
I have a lunch with the girls to look forward to tomorrow, but that's it. Nothing Monday.
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I'm really sorry you are going through this, and I can't believe your doctors office is leaving you with so many unanswered questions. I get not going to the ER right now. There is nothing they can do right now, but it sucks having to wait until Tuesday to get this resolved.
When I was waiting to MC I was completely useless. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I highly recommend vegging out with Netflix and whatever bad foods that you feel like. If or when you feel up to it try and give yourself a project.
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@auggiefrog: Thanks, I think I'll do a little indulging this weekend. I can't even look/think baby things I'm so anxious.
It being -25C outside doesn't help either.
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I am in the same situation as you @stiletto_mom. But my doctor didn't give me my numbers just said they look low. I have to wait until Tuesday or Wednesday for results. I only have a few symptoms but no morning sickness. Last time I was so sick from day one. Good luck
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@Boston terrier mom: It's good to feel like I'm not alone. I can't talk to anyone in real life other than my husband really.
What are you planning to get through the long weekend?
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@stiletto_mom: I am just trying to focus on other things. I also have a toddler to keep me very busy. I'm so worried because I don't have same symptoms as last time.
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@stiletto_mom: I'm so sorry you're facing this uncertainty; I know you've been TTC a long time and that adds another layer of fear and disappointment. For what it's worth, I watched a lot of Gilmore Girls and Parks & Rec when we were getting back troubling betas and then miscarrying.
Not to be a worrywart or add another worrisome possibility, but if you DO start to bleed and you have significant abdominal pain, please go to the ER. There is a small chance it could be an ectopic pregnancy, and those need immediate medical attention. If it's a miscarriage, it will probably "just" be bleeding and menstrual-type cramping.
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@DesertDreams88: I'll keep an eye on it. Thanks for the advice.
At least we had 10 full days of bliss.
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@stiletto_mom: I am sorry you are going through this!
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Thanks everyone for your words of support. It means a lot to be, my thoughts and feelings are all over the place. I feel like a jumbled mess.
I'll keep everyone posted when I hear back from the clinic on Tuesday.
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@stiletto_mom: We're here. So many of us have sadly been where you are, the uncertainty is hard. xx
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@stiletto_mom: i am so sorry about your dropping beta and the sad long weekend you are facing. I know I am late reading this, but if you have the doctors email address (since you mentioned BCCing in the future), I would send a note over expressing your disappointment with the way this news was delivered. She may see this news as just numbers going up and down, but to someone who doesn't regularly even interpret this news, a) it isn't even clear to you what is going on and b) news of a miscarriage is inappropriate to deliver via email.
Also in the future I would Cc not bcc so that the heartless receptionist is aware that you don't trust her preferred method of communication.
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@stiletto_mom: so sorry you're dealing with this. What a horrible experience. It's so hard when you have to wait over the long weekend too. I've been in your shoes and am thinking of you.
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@stiletto_mom: Any update?
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@JoJoGirl: Won't know until tomorrow
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Back to freak out mode, little brown spotting today.
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@stiletto_mom: Brown is ok. Go to the ER. I went for spotting today and it turns out that I have a bladder infection.
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@stiletto_mom: From everything I know, brown is okay. Are you and DH doing anything together for family day today?
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@Autumnmama79: Sitting in bed, watching Better Call Saul and eating junk food. =(
I'm trying not to move too much or to trigger anything bad. I'm also trying to turn my brain into mush by watching TV so I don't think or worry too much...
But here I am.
I really don't know if this is an ER thing. I do my blood first thing tomorrow morning.
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@stiletto_mom: Sounds like a plan. DH and I enjoyed Better Call Saul too. You've almost made it through the weekend. Hugs to you
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@Autumnmama79: Thanks less than 24 hours now for some answers.
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Did my blood this morning. Results should be back in a few hours.
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@stiletto_mom: Praying.
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@stiletto_mom: Thinking of you this whole time
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hoping for the best for you....
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@stiletto_mom: thinking of you mama.
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@stiletto_mom: Hoping for the best for you
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Thinking of you
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