It has always been a struggle with eating for my DS (now 4.5 years old) since he was maybe about 6 months. He is never a great /focused eater and we struggled with his growth. He was a distracted eater since he was a baby, it was very difficult to feed him a 4oz bottle. If he drank up 5 oz we would be breaking out a bottle of champagne to celebrate. Now as a young child, While I am thankful that he eats most healthy foods that we offer, he would choose playing rather than eating any day. Tonight he ate a few bites and he announced he is done, and the reason was because he didn't have enough time to play. I basically have to ask sternly for him to finish his food or I have to take away his Legos. Sigh. I hate myself and our relationship at mealtimes.

We had struggled with his growth. While he is a normal healthy boy and extremely smart (he has been reading since he was 3+ years old, or earlier really), I don't think he grew at all in terms of his height for a year... Maybe barely 1/16 (or less) of an inch?

There are two teams. There is my mom who, as a traditional Chinese woman of the older generation, exclaims I must spoon feed him like Asians do and he must eat a bowl of white rice each day. I just have to make him him eat it and she claims it was my fault to not spoon feed him all the way since he was a baby. Then there is my husband who wildly flip flops between "we have to make sure he eats everything each meal", and "If he doesn't eat we'll let him go hungry because this behavior is unacceptable and he has to learn that he will go hungry if he choose not to eat".

I know that whatever we do we have to pick a way and be consistent, but like everything else (breastfeeding or formula feeding, attachment parenting or independence....etc.) Everything has two sides and it is so hard to pick a side. Honestly I would have cared less if he grows, but he doesn't and he's the smallest amongst the same aged kids.

What team will you be on? Any thoughts / experiences / shares?

ETA: QUESTION: If you are on team "let LO eats whatever he can eat", How do you handle the emotion of throwing away things your LOs doesn't eat? It gets me really mad to throw away perfectly good food every night, and that is something I need advice on...