-
@irene: I occasionally still spoon feed my 3.5 year old because she gets bored or just wants attention at the dinner table. She doesn't leave because she knows she isn't allowed to, but she will ask "can I be all done?" If she hasn't eaten a "decent amount" we ask her to eat 3-4 more bites and then she can be all done. This is when she asks us to spoon feed her. Occasionally if we tell her that after dinner we have a favorite fruit or dessert she will be motivated enough to finish on her own. I totally get you on the growth concerns though. I'm 5'0, husband is over 6' but my daughter is very petite. We thought she might be more average sized due to my husband being tall but I think because she's not the greatest eater she's trending small. We mostly focus on protein because we think that will give her the most bang for bite--not sure how true that is though.
-
@irene: I think the fact that you get so mad about having to throw away food is something you really need to work through, as it seems to be the driving force behind your desire to change the way meal time works at your house. Do you spend a lot of time around other 4 year olds? Because as you can see from these posts, most of us with similarly aged kids deal with the same issues, so this isn't specific to your child or unusual. You've posted a few times about getting very mad at your son for things that are really very typical behavior (not finishing meals, not getting excited about something you planned and thought he would enjoy, not giving you space when you weren't feeling well), and gone so far as to give him the silent treatment. When others have pointed out to you that this is unhealthy behavior, you have become very defensive. But this dinner problem is just one more symptom of the greater issue of coming to terms with and accepting what's a normal part of life when you are a mother to a preschooler.
-
What age does this phase hit?
I'm on team "I could feed my kids cardboard and they would eat it"
-
I am on team "it depends."
-
I think you should give him smaller portions of throwing away food makes you angry. I think it sounds like you expect him to act older than he is sometimes. It sounds like normal preschooler behavior to want to play than eat. I would offer him dinner and if he doesn't eat it then oh well. I wouldn't cook another meal or give a snack. As long as he's hitting milestones I wouldn't worry about his size or stress about meals.
-
For dinner we don't really have much to throw away as I don't make any more for him than I would for the two of us. Unless we grill hot dogs or make baked beans, he'll eat about 3 bites and be done.
Other meals can be hit or miss with throwing stuff away. Sometimes he begs for another banana or pouch, and eats one bite of it. If I can, I save it for later, but it doesn't always get eaten. As others have pointed out, that's just life with a toddler/preschooler.
-
@gingerbebe: thank you for sharing your story! Is your little brother taller now? His story cracks me up
And kudos to you for staying sane!!@sunny: I am actually guilty of that too. When he claims he is done and I still see a big portion hanging there, I do pick up a piece of broccoli and give it to him. I usually prefer to let him hold it and eat it himself but sometimes I'd just shove it in his mouth....
@Truth Bombs: No I don't spend any time with kids at all! Yes i know I have an issue. But this is really helping.
@anonysquire: Wait when does the card board phase hit? I would like that very much! Where do i get kids like that again????
@looch: hahahaa
@Mrs. Pickle: The smaller i give him, the less he eats. So there is always something to throw away. Truth.
-
@irene: My brother is like 5'10" now, but because he's got broad shoulders and is pretty muscular, he actually looks bigger/taller than he is. He really did grow into his body once he hit like 16-17 years old, especially once he started more sports and weight training.
I get the stress from the Asian parents/inlaws thing because its not so much about your kid being small, but their implication (or possibly blunt assessment) that you're just a shitty mom who's too lazy and not dedicated enough to chase your kid around to eat. My mom says crap like that to me all the time and also makes up stuff that isn't true, like how she made all my brother's baby food and meals from scratch (uh, not unless you count bologna sandwiches and buying sour cream and onion Pringles by the truckload as "making food from scratch"). She STILL wanders the house feeding my son with a spoon for hours when she visits and it drives me up the wall because I've repeatedly told her I do NOT want that to happen in my house. If you think offering a bowl of rice will help or shut people up, fine, but let your son eat the damn rice himself.
-
@gingerbebe: Hey I wrote on your wall
-
@irene: I will very occasionally let my nearly 4 year old sit in my lap at dinner and feed him, but it's always a "game" and he always initiates it. I'd encourage you to put yourself in your son's shoes sometimes - how would you feel if someone shoved broccoli in your mouth after you said you were full? And, even if there's "always something" to throw away, giving smaller portions would still mean less food tossed overall. (Or perhaps serve yourself smaller portions and then take your "seconds" from his uneaten portions?) Honestly, the bottom line is you cannot, no matter what you do, force your son to eat. It's a losing proposition from the beginning and the best you can do is structure your own expectations/reactions to make meals pleasant.
-
@irene: DH has a co-worker that packs half-eaten food. The guy either has it for lunch or breakfast. If you're concerned about waste, it's an option.
-
@irene: honestly I think it has a bit to do with the fact that I've never forced my kids to eat or try something new or gotten mad if they don't eat. They try everything on their own. I fill up a plate for them with whatever we are eating and thy eat the whole thing. Could also be attributed to BLW? I don't know. But giving them normal adult table food at 6 months hasn't been wrong for us yet. 2/2!
-
@SugarplumsMom: No, DH is germophobic and he wouldn't eat half eaten food from DS. I am not eating his leftovers because his food has a ton of carbs and I am cutting carbs....
@anonysquire: Good for you! You need to write a book about it
I don't know if I'd have the guts to do BLW if I were to go back and to do it all over again... I think my mom and in-laws would have a heart attack. With my luck I am guessing it will be the same outcome (that he'd eat a few things and leave). He is just not a good eater since the beginning of his days on earth.
-
@irene: oh for sure. I don't let my parents or inlaws make parenting choices for me though!! I know best.
-
@anonysquire: I don't either! But nothing stops them from nagging for hours each time I see or talk to them. Which is basically the entire time I see/talk to them.
-
Janet Lansbury just re-posted this and it's super relevant, so I thought I'd share:
http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/06/toddler-eating-issues-or-stuff-your-worries-not-your-toddler/ -
I'm on team don't stress myself out. I tend to give her similar items- say berries then refrigerate what she does not eat. Then give foods she likes more like meat and cheese.
-
Eat what you're fed or don't eat. That being said that generally applies only to dinner time. I definitely don't make things I know she would hate but I go the extra mile to make sure breakfast and lunch is one of the same 2 or 3 meals that I know she loves. It SUCKS throwing good food out but I've learned not to serve her very much, just enough for a taste. If she eats it, great she may certainly have more, if she doesn't eat it, I'm not tossing much food. I
-
@irene: I've literally had to snap at my folks, put my hand up and say "I am NOT talking about this anymore." If they bring it up I just repeat "NO, I am DONE talking about this. This issue is closed. Period." They think I'm a total dick about it and totally disrespectful because of the Asian culture thing, and then they start going off on me about what a terrible person I am for being disrespectful, but at least we're not talking about the issue I want to close anymore. There are a handful of things that I'm just D-O-N-E talking about (like my son's schedule) and its just a closed ass topic.
And kudos to you for staying sane!!
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
58 comments