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Yikes!! I think she's overreacting! I would just apologize I guess. Explain that you know she can take care of a baby, you had just heard it was a good class! Sometimes moms can be so sensitive. She's probably just feeling weird that her baby is having a baby

Oops. I'm sorry she got so upset on you - I know my mum would be the same and it's a shame because doing the class together would have been a nice mum-daughter bonding experience for you and it would have been something baby-related she could do with you - as mums often really want to be "involved". Hugs. She'll come round and, if not, you could always tell her you didn't want to go alone and really wanted the support.....?

Awww that sucks. I hope she can understand where you were coming from. I did the same thing. I was getting really frustrated with LO's fussiness and everytime I told my mom she was being fussy, the first assumption was something I had eaten...EVERYTIME. I finally was so frustrated and tired of hearing that I told her that i'm tired of advice that seems negative and to only help with the situation. Looking back I wish I could have just ignored it but I reached my melting point and was tired of hearing that everytime she cried it was my fault. Even if it was, I would rather advice on how to help it or come and give me a break. She really seem offended and told me that she appreciated every little bit of advice that her mom gave her. Ugh. I apologized and told her I do appreciate her advice and am so thankful she is apart of our lives but I was so frustrated and needed support more than blame. It was very awkward seeing her the first couple of times but it seems better now. Although she never offers any advice now which makes me a little sad. I even try asking her her thoughts and opinions and she just says I don't know. Makes me sad and wished I would've kept my mouth shut. Anyways...I'm sure she will come around and realize what your intention were.

I think moms universally see their daughter's first pregnancy as their big opportunity to "show them the ropes" - it sounds like anything you say to suggest otherwise is true totally sets her off! It's not you, she's just super oversensitive to this stuff, I think.

@blackbird: Yikes, sorry! I think my mom also thought she'd be teaching me how to take care of the baby and do more baby-related duties when she stayed with us. She didn't anticipate that DH would be so involved (his job is really flexible so he was at home almost everyday for a month) and felt useless while she was there...even though she wasn't since she cooked and cleaned.

I hope she realizes that you didn't mean any offense by that.

@blackbird: Your mom and my mom would be BFFs! They could sit around and talk about their crazy know-it-all daughters! I'm sorry she got upset with you! My mom would have absolutely done the same thing. She also has the mindset that it was one way when she had babies, she did a fantastic job raising us, and I don't know sh*t about sh*t (she doesn't say that- but I've definitely learned that's how she really feels.) My mom, who I finally "made up" with after she very sweetly apologized and sent me a card for the whole vaccine flip-out she had, told me yesterday that "first time moms are the most difficult. You won't be this way when you have the second." So basically she thinks that anything that I do differently from her is because I'm a FTM and I am over-reacting. It sounds like your mom and my mom actually could be besties.

@PrincessBaby: I made my mom cry last week and we haven't made up yet--your mom and my mom would be bffs, too.

I can see both sides, I guess it really depends on the person because to some it might be a cool class to be refreshed on the details but to someone else it may seem like you think they're incompetent. In all honesty I can say I would probably have the same sort of reaction if my child told me I should take a class on how to be a grandma but I also am not into parenting classes either and I have a tendency to take things personally.

@cyndistar3: I guess I can see why someone might be offended, but I'm always open to new learning opportunities and that would outweigh my sensitivities on the situation. Being a parent and being a grandparent are two very different things and if I was about to become a grandma I would be VERY interested in learning about what has changed between when I was a parent and now, since I'm sure there will be a lot! I'd also love the opportunity to be able to connect with other people who are going through the same season of life as me. But I understand that not everyone would see things this way, so being cautious about that is a good idea.

This is really tough! I think as exciting as it is to become a grandparent moms have a hard time seeing their daughters become moms. The best way I've heard it said, is they have a tough time grand parenting rather than mothering their grandchild because they aren't used to the new role. I agree with a pp that I know in my case my mom wanted badly to take the role of teaching me everything and telling me what to do,, but I really researched and had/have my own ideas of things. It has a been a tough time for my mom and I through pregnancy and the early days of my baby girl. At one point I did talk to her, and it has been a ton better since! I sometimes feel a little strange because now that my dd is 6 mos my mom literally doesn't question anything I do anymore and only gives advice when I ask her. It's very different, and it took her a while to get here, but i appreciate it so much! She finally seems to have adjusted to the role, and really enjoys being a grandma! I know in my case, I just had to be patient with my mom, it was a very emotional adjustment for her too!

I'm sorry that your mom got upset, I have actually heard really great things about the grandparenting class and I would suggest it to my parents if they lived near us. I can totally see my MIL reacting like that.

@blackbird: My mom is still not talking to me. I feel like this is some high school drama!

that's sooo sad!! I'm so sorry :(:(

@highwire: Sorry, is it bad that I did indeed LOL when I read your comment?