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I'm so tired of hearing this cliche! Sure, it can be a rough time, every baby is different, every family is different, blah blah blah. For me, those first months were amazing and magical! You never know, so don't let people fill your thoughts with all kinds of preconceptions.

@MoonMoon: Same! The first few months were like a dream I think that it's nice that they didn't sugarcoat but I don't like when people make blanket statements like that just based on their kid. I much prefer to tell soon-to-be parents good things

I wouldn't be offended, because that is their perspective and vantage point. Your experience may be totally different!
Was it hard? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely.

Nah, I don't think what they said was offensive. A little womp womp but that's ok! Would you rather hear it's all rainbows and puppies? There's always a flip side

I think it's somewhat refreshing. I felt so guilty feeling like it was hard when I had a newborn because it seemed like everybody around me kept telling me to "enjoy it", and I think in retrospect a lot of people forget all the bad, and totally romanticize the newborn period, which is hard when you're in the thick of it and haven't managed a shower in two weeks...

But yeah, when you're in early pregnancy I think its nice to let people just be excited.

Every experience is different. To be honest, we did not find the newborn days hard at all with DD1 and only mildly challenging with DD2. We went in with very low expectations in regards to sleep, free time, managing household duties etc, and when things were easier than expected, it made it seem like such a walk in the park. DH was working relatively normal hours then, 11 hour days including the commuting time, and we had a good balance in our house. We absolutely loved the newborn days, although I do accept this is not necessarily the norm.

Now with DD2, it was a bit harder as we had a 19 month old running around, and DH was working insane hours, 15 hour days, six days per week, so it was a much more lopsided division of childcare responsibilities. That being said though, it still wasn't what I would call difficult. We are fortunate though in that neither of our girls had any issue BF'ing, and both have been good sleepers from the start.

Bottom line is that it is possible to have a good newborn experience and don't let all the negative stories scare you off. I haven't read all the comments here yet but I just wanted to provide you with some reassurance that there is a lot to look forward to and don't let naysayers scare you or make you anxious about what's to come!

I wouldn't necessarily be offended since it was a stranger, but these types of comments bother me because they seem to imply that I have NO idea what I'm getting myself into and they're being the heroic truth teller. I may not know the specifics of what MY family will struggle with the most because my baby isn't here yet, but come on, I know that keeping a little human alive and happy is hard work, and that there will be adjustments. I don't need you to act like you're the only one who tells it like it really is.

@Mrs. Coral: thanks friend!

@MoonMoon: @dreamocracy: @ScarletBegonia: same here! I don't understand why it's ok for people to be like, oh it was the hardest time of my life but for those who had a good experience it's fibbing/sugar coating. Lol.

Worst months of your life? More like best time of my entire life. Having a baby is the best! I haven't really found even one negative yet about having a baby. Ok well a baby born teething is hard. But it's no the worst thing ever. I would be concerned if anyone sai any period with their child is the worst? Maybe because it took me a long time to get pregnant I am just blind to the bad times? I don't know, I don't care!

Trust me, you will LOVE it!

I get annoyed when people say stuff like that too. If only I had a quarter for everytime I have heard "Just you wait..." during this pregnancy. Yes, I realize it isn't going to be easy to have a baby. Worst time in my life though? No, I doubt that very much considering the struggle I had just getting pregnant to begin with. I'd certainly rather be struggling with a newborn baby than be still doing fertility treatments.

In any case though I don't think people mean any harm when they say stuff like that. It's sort of one of those things everyone says. Still annoying, but harmless I guess.

As someone who has been there, I was also offended and shocked, but now I do look at that person in a different light.

One of DH's friends said basically the same thing to me when I was pregnant and said that the first few months I would regret ever getting pregnant and it will be the worst time of my life. Me and DH were so shocked and inside we both though wow, what a shitty mom! We will never feel that way!

Well, let's just say she was pretty much right for the first couple months, and I remember feeling so awful about how I thought she must have been a shitty mom for feeling that way, when I was feeing the exact same way. I definitely ate my words. However, it passed, things got much better, and while still difficult, I was starting to see more happiness and rewards as LO got older. It is hard, but SO worth it. And every baby/mom is different as well!!!

Everyone else kept quiet about their experience post partum, and I remember crying to my DH's cousin whom I am close to, asking her why she didn't tell me the truth about how HARD it was?? And she just laughed and told me she didn't want to scare me!

@anonysquire: It took me forever and a day (and a whole lotta cash) to get pregnant too, and I'll admit- having newborns was not awesome. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done, and I vividly remember counting the minutes until my husband got home so I could hand him one of the babies. I felt horribly guilty, especially because I had spent so many hours being angry at the women who were complaining about their babies when I would have given anything to be in their shoes.

All that being said, it could go either way for anyone- it could be the best time, it could be the worst, they could regret what they've done or they could want to get pregnant as soon as they get clearance. It could be different with each baby for the same couple, too. I don't think what they said was offensive, but could definitely be seen as annoying.

Everyone's experience is different, so I would definitely have been annoyed. I actually was in a similar situation - I went to see my eye doctor and told him I was pregnant in case it mattered with any of the tests or drops etc, he proceeded to tell me the first three months were awful, horrible, terrible. I didn't ask him about his experience and felt like a simple congrats would have been enough. It bothered me enough that I plan to find a new eye doctor...

Fwiw my little guy is 8 weeks and it has not been easy but it has been mostly wonderful for me.

Maybe it's because I was expecting the worst, and also have a pretty easy baby, but I am 5 months in and haven't found it terribly difficult or awful. I have really loved almost every second of the last 5 months. Everyone's experience is different, so I wouldn't worry about it. Sure, you could get a difficult baby or an easy one or, most likely one that falls right in the middle. Whatever happens though you will make it work and it will be fine!!!! Just make sure you surround yourself with supportive people and don't be afraid to ask for help or take a break if you need it!

I think I'm in the minority b/c this would absolutely not offend me nor do I hate the "just you wait" comments. I love hearing everyone else's perspectives. I know that mine will be different as every child is different. But I like knowing what could be coming ahead. I can silently cheer if I don't go through a rough patch or I'm prepared once I we hit that same place.

I can't tell you how many friends have told me after they had a baby that they wish people who have told them about certain things after the baby is born. Agree that you never know your experience until you're in it.