For those who have gone through 1 or more rounds of IVF, knowing what you know now, what advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time to that month before you started stims?
Words of wisdom, warnings, reassurances, general tips?
July is our prep month before starting the whole shebang in August. We've had ~16 months of no BFPs, with 3 unsuccessful IUIs and no real explanation why except low AMH and a low LP.
Thanks in advance. 
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I was pretty relaxed when starting my first cycle. I guess I knew that stressing myself didn't help. I, also, think continuing acupuncture helped my anxiety and stress and probably why I'm still stress-free and carefree during my pregnancy. I still have moments before (days or hours before) ultrasounds where I wonder if I lost a baby. It's definitely scary to think about but with IF, I was sorta waiting for that shoe to drop.
I was worried that it wouldn't work but I knew why I made the decisions I made and why we were in our journey.
Oh, as for the daily shots, I wasn't worried about them. I'm in the science field and needles and blood never bothered me.
Also, it helped that I love my current clinic and was so happy I switched from the other clinic.
pear / 1580 posts
@YogiRunner: Good luck to you!! Very exciting! I was in the middle of my stims this time last year.
Like @bluestriped bee, I felt pretty relaxed going into IVF, too., and I like to think I had healthy expectations. I think hearing about other bees' experiences helped a lot.
The advice I'd give myself has more to do with my relationship with DH. I wanted to forge ahead but didn't really communicate well with my husband about his feelings about it. We're great now, but I had total tunnel vision and it wasn't good.
pomegranate / 3809 posts
I wish I would have told myself not to accept "unexplained" as an explanation and to push for any and all sorts of testing.... (which I am finally doing now). Sadly, to not be so hopeful that IVF is my solution to the problem. I remember naively saying "at least we'll know we have fertilized eggs to start with". Now I know that's not even a fraction of the battle. And to be more prepared for a possibly long road. Sorry to be such a downer, but this is coming from someone who has had 3 cycles in the past year, nothing to freeze, and still no BFP to date.
persimmon / 1479 posts
This is a really good question, but hard to answer! I guess it would be to just keep in mind nothang is a sure thing. Unfortunately, with my first cycle I think I let myself get a bit too comfortable after we completed several teps (e.g., stims and retrieval) in the process. That just made the blow of a canceled emary transfer that much harder.
I hope ivf is successful for you, I've found so much support on HB, it's been so helpful. I know how devastating it feels to see all those negatives on pregnancy tests 
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@PurplePumps: I'm so so sorry. I still read the IVF thread. I'm always thinking of you.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
First of all, good luck!
My experience with IVF is like @PurplePumps: so my answers won't be the most uplifting.
1. The shots aren't as scary as they seem. They're actually really easy once you get past the first stick.
2. You'll probably have a vaginal ultrasound while you're on your period. I was pretty shocked and grossed out when I found that out.
3. It's ok to be grumpy during the process. By the time I reached my egg retrieval I was I was really uncomfortable and moody. Also you'll need to take it easy so you don't tweak anything.
4. Try to go about life as normally as you can to keep your mind off the what ifs. That is much easier said than done!
5. Finally, IVF is a gamble. An expensive one. It doesn't always work. It is heartbreaking to go through so much and not succeed. Just know that if it doesn't work that's not the end of the road. There are other protocols you can try or other options.
pear / 1531 posts
I wish I would have internalized that it may not work the first (or second or third) time.
But that the fact that the first few times fail doesn't mean you won't ultimately have success.
nectarine / 2465 posts
Following! Good post 
@PurplePumps: so sorry, praying you'll get your bfp soon.
pomegranate / 3764 posts
I guess I'd tell myself that there are no guarantees. And that a BFP doesn't always equal a baby, which is something I was VERY naive about. But also that you are a rockstar for getting on board this journey, and stronger than you ever thought you would be! x
kiwi / 613 posts
I wish I would've been more realistic about the fact that IVF success is not guaranteed. I went through six fresh cycles and one FET with my own eggs, and got three BFPs that all ended in losses by six weeks. We just kept trucking forward with new cycles because we always had smooth retrievals and had a good couple of blasts at the end... But I wish we'd thought more seriously about moving on to donor eggs quicker, since I'm 38. The reason we didn't was because we were signed up for a guarantee program, so each fresh cycle was only the cost of the meds... But then again, that did add up at over $4k a pop!
I'm 8 weeks pregnant now from my first donor egg IVF cycle, so fingers crossed this one stays and we'll finally have our baby!
Also, if you're paying out of pocket, be sure to call around for price quotes, as prices can vary widely!
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@momazon: congrats on being 8 weeks pregnant!!
Oh, yeah, on the meds! If you are paying out of pocket, definitely look into WinFertility for a price quote. They beat all the quotes I got. Oh, they are a discount pharmacy that does bundles so you have to order at least two different meds. If I needed a second medication, I always asked for estrace since it's cheap.
Oh, there's a pharmacy in MD that takes back unused meds. I had trouble getting a hold of them when I called.
kiwi / 613 posts
@bluestriped bee: Thank you! It feels like I've reached a little milestone!
pomegranate / 3533 posts
Forgive me if any of this sounds silly, but some things that worked well for me were finding any way to lighten the mood while you're cycling. Watch funny videos to take your mind off the intramuscular needles (initially), treat yourself (in healthy ways), and just generally find ways to de-stress!
Also, to echo a few others, stay positive (and realistic), while realizing that even a BFP is not a guarantee.
Wishing you tons of luck and sticky baby mojo going forward!!!
pear / 1767 posts
I haven't done IVF yet but I am likely headed down that path as I also have low AMH (waiting to switch insurance plans to one that covers IVF). I recently read "It Starts With the Egg" by Rebecca Fett, as I understand that low AMH can entail poor egg quality. She had tons of suggestions of supplements, dietary changes, lifestyle changes, etc. that may help with egg quality and thus increase your chances of a successful IVF. But again, I am not a seasoned IVFer (yet) so take that for whatever it is worth.
apricot / 452 posts
My advice is more on the mental health side of things - I agree with @FliegepilzHut - try to find a way to lighten the mood. It can be really easy to get caught up in process and many times get depressed by it. It really is a roller coaster of emotions. One day you are excited because they got 15 eggs but then you find out that only 3 survived to day 5 - it's rough!
Also, remember that your husband is going through this with you and this is hard on him too. Take time for yourselves and do fun things together during this time. I know that most likely finances are tight because of IVF (it's expensive if it is not covered!) but those dinners out or long drives together are still worth it and very much needed during this time!
persimmon / 1132 posts
@YogiRunner: thanks for posting! I was thinking about these same questions and was glad to see so many helpful responses.
clementine / 849 posts
Thanks so much for your responses, everyone.
I'm trying to mentally prepare and have appropriate expectations while staying positive and happy. It's a difficult balance but I'm trying to stay on the positive side to save my mental health now, when I need it most! But I do realize that this is another stage in our journey, and I need to be as patient as ever now.
And I think I'll queue up some old Will Ferrell/Jimmy Fallon clips to have on hand for those more difficult moments 
@momazon: congratulations!
kiwi / 613 posts
@YogiRunner: Good luck!!!! It varies for everyone, but honestly, IVF was not that bad for me. The progesterone made me a little emotional, but you might get lucky as I did and not have any issues with side effects, etc. Crossing all my fingers for you!
Also, don't forget to subscribe to the rolling IVF Thread, it gets pretty active when different people start stimming, etc. It's a great place to post updates, questions, etc. and get support - I believe I"ve already seen you pop in there, but here's the link just in case: http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ivf-thread-2
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