Hellobee Boards

I called my brother when we got pregnant, he and his wife have been dealing with infertility for years. I just said "I know this is kind of a sensitive subject, but I wanted to tell you before you hear it from someone else..." He was ecstatic and said he didn't want me to worry or walk on egg shells and he was happy for us. It went much better than I planned it in my head.

I think a phone call may be better because if she is upset, she may want to act happy for you but not want you to see her sadness. A phone call can give her a quick out if she needs it to take her own time to process her feelings. Just a guess, though...

We TTC for 19 months, and I agree that I liked to be told on the phone, and really didn't even mind email. It just gave me time to find out, and only have to put on a brave face for a short while, or in the case of email I could go be sad for me, and come back around to being ecstatic for my friends before I had to face them.

That said... at 8 months I was still pretty OK. It's maybe longer than average, but it wasn't until I became "abnormal" and started extensive testing and taking meds that other people's announcements made me really jealous that it wasn't a natural process for us.

I'm not dealing with IF, but m/c's, so close enough I think in this case. I actually would disagree with those saying don't email. It depends heavily on the nature of your relationship, but I would by far prefer to be told by email because I don't have to control my initial response. Trying to not look/sound upset would be hard, but I wouldn't want to make someone feel bad when they're trying to be sensitive.