We are thinking about doing this.
Although, some agencies say they will cancel a pending match if you get pregnant.
Any advice for me?
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I wish I did, but wanted to just say good luck! I really hope u get your family!
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Many agencies recommend that you stop fertility treatments while you are listed with them, though I have seen them be understanding if you get pregnant without intervention while waiting.
I think they want to see that you've come to terms with infertility and that you don't think of adoption as a second best kind of option (which I know you don't :)!
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Our agency asked that we stop all treatments and had us answer questions in regards to our infertility to make sure adoption wasn't just a second option, like Mrs. Jacks mentioned. 6 months into the process I became pregnant naturally, it was a big surprise for us all and they were completely understanding and have placed our adoption on hold at the moment.
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@Mrs. Jacks: @emg86:
Thanks! We are a few months from starting the adoption process. I want to move on to adoption but the DH still wants to try a little longer with the IUIs. He is okay with adopting but I guess he wants to try to have biological children. (Prior to TTC, we thought about adopting after we have biological child. Now that we have tried TTC for over a year now, I have moved on to trying adoption next. DH still needs some convincing. I guess he is still on the fertility phase of it.)I thought I could compromise if we did both. Glad I asked you guys. We'll need to talk some more about it.
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A good friend of mine recently did this. The adoption agency suspends any adoption progress after the first trimester if a woman gets pregnant. She actually did end up pregnant, but they weren't matched yet, so it wasn't much of a kerfluffle.
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@Weagle: Did she lose any money from the adoption process? Did she end up resuming her adoption after her LO was born?
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@bluestriped bee: They did lose money. They were using a private agency, so it was quite a bit. She ended up having twins, and they're just a few months old. They already had one child, and they're not sure if they will continue with adoption at this point.
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@Weagle: Yeah, I'm afraid of losing that money.
Oh, wow, cool! Congrats to hear that she got pregnant with twins!
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Our agency asked that fertility treatments be stopped and counseled us on infertility and adoption. They felt that a couple should up their whole heart into one process as both can be emotionally draining. If a pregnancy occurred before matching the process would be put on hold until the biological child was one. Then the process could be started again. I got pregnant right after placement and our agency was thrilled for us even though things were far from finalized.
My husband was the one who wanted to do fertility treatments to really try for a biological child. Our agreement was that I would do it until I wanted to stop. I promised to give it everything I had but when it got to be too much on my body and mind that I could call it quits. If you have just had enough you might be able to say that. I think our husband try so hard to understand but there is just no way for them to truly know what we go through.
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