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Maybe I'm naive but wouldn't this be more expensive than a live-in nanny? And when would she go to school, a lot of times it's during the day?

@MrsBrewer: @jessiejo17: it is actually way cheaper than a nanny. i don't know all the logistics, but you pay them a much, much lower rate because you deduct living expenses, and because they're here to go to school. they typically live with you for a year... i think the max is two years.

i want one once charlie and olive are school age so they can learn a new language!

I think the main benefit is they usually speak a second language, so your children learn it when they are young and it's easier.

i heard au pairs are from other countries...not necessarily students and they're really affordable considering.

I almost took an Au Pair job in Turkey and then in Italy.

Typically they receive room and board and then a small stipend (in Europe, 300-700 a month in my experience) to cover incidentals. They are quite affordable and usually speak another language.

Not all au pairs are students. Many are taking a gap year or just au pair during the summers for the experience of living in another country/culture.

In my experience, families usually hire au pairs to watch older children, not babies. A large part of the purpose is to expose your kids to another language and culture.

@regberadaisy: that's my main concern! I have seen ads for companies hiring people to be au pairs and I worry that a girl in her early 20s isn't going to be mature enough to watch my kids. I also worry that she's going to smoke, drink and party!

I can see this working for summer vacation!

@bluestriped bee: ohhh very interesting!!!!

@bluestriped bee: that is a very good point. Kinda like being on a "scholarship" to be here on a Visa bc you excel in violin or etc so you have to keep that up and your grades up.
So if you weren't happy with your au pair and you fire them would the get shipped back??

My understanding is that some of the programs require 6 credits per semester but that others don't require any college classes and they may stay for 1 year. They are screened in their home countries and you are presented with many to choose from and then interview them. There is an option to pick an au pair "extraordinaire" which would be someone with more extensive experience but all of them must have at least 200 hours of child care experience.

I know some people who have done this and it has gone really well for them but I think it works better when you live somewhere very walkable. The biggest complaint I have heard is that au pairs are notoriously awful drivers. Many won't have learned to drive until they are 18 so off the bat they have less experience driving and then you throw in the different driving laws and bigger cars.

The weekly stipend is around $200, the agencies are good at breaking down the weekly cost once you add in the agency fees and so forth it is about $360 a week plus what ever it costs to have an extra adult in your home. This could be minimal or it could be a lot if you need a third car and to pay for car insurance and gas for another adult.

I do think it could be a neat experience but I think I would prefer to wait until I had school aged kids so it would be an after school hours and date night schedule as opposed to an all day type of thing. I think some people like the option because you are far more likely to get an au pair to commit to a wacky schedule than a nanny and the cost is lower.

their working hours are strictly limited. Like, I don't think they can work more than 40 (or maybe fewer) hours. SO if YOU work 40 hours, adding on even minimal commute time, it's not going to work.

but if you have flexibility i think it's great!!

I dont know anyone who personally has an au pair. I am not really comfortable with other people living with me or being in my home when I am not there, so Its not for me

A lot of my friends growing up had two working parents and an au pair nanny. It seems like a great setup as long as you have the space in your house for another person to live. We were actually just looking at a house that has an in-law suite upstairs in the attic, and all I could think was how perfect it would be for an au pair if we decided to hire one. One of the families at DD's daycare has an au pair. I think she's from New Zealand, so she doesn't speak another language. She's really sweet though!

i know a bunch of au pairs and families who've used them. around here most people hire through an agency, when they arrive they usually spend some time at a childcare seminar where they learn basic childcare practices and a quick into to US customs then they get shipped off to the families.

it works out great for a lot of families, but i know of many that have gone through a few au pairs quickly before it worked out. also keep in mind, most of these girls are between 18-22. think about what life was like for you at that age. when i was younger, i partied with a lot of au pairs (after work, on my own time, never in their employer's homes) - most of them were driving in cars owned by their employers, smoking, and drinking and then either going back to their employer's homes or disappearing for the weekend. i know one family (i never met the au pair though) and she went away for a weekend and never came back, they were told it's not that unusual to have au pairs runaway. if it's something you think you'd be interested in- i suggest looking for an older au pair. one that has had many years of driving experience (on the same side of the road that we drive on) if you plan on having them drive, learning to drive in a new area is hard enough, never mind with screaming kids in the car and signs that are in a second language. also if you're up for having a college student living with you, doing what college age girls do.

personally, if i had responsible, well behaved older kids, that needed someone to get them on a school bus and make sure they did their homework and had a snack when they got home, maybe watching them for a weekly date night, i'd be okay with it. provided they weren't driving the kids anywhere and we had an au pair suite with its own entrance and the au pair was over 22 and a college graduate. haha. i don't think we'll ever have an au pair, but i do have a great friend that i met as an au pair that met all of those criteria!

I think it sounds like a neat idea but our home isn't suitable for live-in help

A good friend of ours has an au pair from China. She's in her mid-twenties and did go to school but it was on the weekends and it was only in the beginning. I guess their schooling is something you work out with them. They weren't lucky enough to have an au pair who can cook good food though. Haha! But that's usually not part of their job description to cook for the family. Just for the kids.

I've been curious about this since it's really common for Swedish girls to be an au pair for a year (think Elin, Tiger Wood's ex). It's a way for them to experience another county on their own. Most come from good families, for example, Elin's mom is a governor. I think most actually have previous experience with kids. But having said this, I don't know of anyone that's ever had an au pair back in the States. So I'm kind of curious who actually has them.