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our neighborhood public school isn't that great. all the neighborhood kids go to the same private school, but it's not very diverse, which is important to me. so we send our kids to a different school then the neighborhood kids and it's also not our neighborhood school. the neighborhood kids are different ages, so they wouldn't really be in the same class or schedule anyways.

My son attends a magnet school in a different town, we happen to live down the street from the neighborhood school. The car ride is no less than a half hour.

Our neighbors go to the school down the road, but they have a great relationship and play all the time.

There are two reasons we chose this school. One is the fact that it goes k-8. The second is that the program is one that isn't offered in town. It's International Baccalaureate and that aligns with our hope that our son attends a school abroad at some point. I am ecstatic with the decision. It hasn't been without challenges, but I am satisfied in what my son is learning, how he is learning it and how he is exposed to material.

My son is a summer birthday and DH and I waffled about what to do for kindergarten. It turns out there is a Free Choice district in our neighboring town (they actually merge with our district for 6-12) so we decided to put him there. It’s a much smaller school environment (1 section of each grade, 18 kids max) and so we thought it would ease the transition. It is about a 15 minute drive for us, but I would have been driving him anyway because I am also a teacher so waiting for his bus would have made me late to work. I wrestle if we made the right decision because as it’s gotten closer to September he is seeming more “kindergarten ready”, but I think this is a good choice.

@gestalt: it was for kindergarten and the kids all went to different preschools or stayed home, so for her, it wasn't any different. she's always had school friends and "home" friends

My DS doesn't start K until 2019 but I've been touring magnet schools in my area because that is what I'd prefer for him. They are a bit farther, but at least for elementary, the bus routes don't seem to be too much longer. I know it will get worse in middle and high school.

I did magnet schools myself growing up though so I do have memory of not being in the same school as my neighborhood friends. For me it was mostly an issue because my parents switched me for 6th grade. So it wasn't so much that I wasn't in school with neighborhood friends, it was that all the kids I had gone to school with for the last 6 years were going to one school and I was going somewhere else and everyone there had known each other in elementary. So I think the issue when just starting out is much less significant. And I firmly believe that going to GT magnets was a strong and positive influence on me which is why I want it for my kids. I hope in the end you would feel the same for your kid.

@gestalt: we picked our neighborhood based on the school, but if we didnt live near a school we liked we would do the same thing

@gestalt: you can do it! Ultimately you are the parent and you and DH are making a thoughtful decision. One of the nice things about kindergarten is most everyone is new to the school in some capacity so they are ready to make new friends.

Our now first grader goes to a public school that is not our district school. It is about a 20 minute drive. We feel good about the decision and it has gone well for us. The kids in the neighborhood go to a few different schools and it has not been an issue.

I think it is also okay to validate your feelings and your DD’s feelings. Kindergarten and a new school are big changes and it is okay to feel anxious and have mixed feelings. You just think this will be the best school for her and you will be there to help her get used to it.

@gestalt: Just chiming in from my own childhood experience as well. I left our neighborhood school in 6th grade to go a G&T magnet that was about a 20-25 min drive away. It is a grade 2-12 school and a LOT of the kids knew each other from elementary where I only knew two other kids who were transferring there from my own elementary G&T program.

She'll find that while yes, lots of kids are already friends, there will be other new kids like her too! And there's a benefit to kids being friends already in that when you make one friend, you more easily meet and become friends with their friends as well.
I also noticed that when I went to my G&T school, I hung out with my neighborhood friends who went to a different school more often on the weekends because I didn't get to see them every day. Then I repeated this process in reverse for to attend the local high school, and I once more only knew about 3 kids transferring from my G&T school. Everyone else had been going to elementary and middle together. I flipped and started seeing my former G&T school friends more on the weekends and my neighborhood school friends during the week AT school, etc.

Kids are resilient. And finding the small things she can look forward to, and having a proactive parent like you to help facilitate friendships in and outside school will be a great benefit. Having a mom and dad who were willing to drive me way out of the way to hang out with new school friends was really awesome, and their encouraging me to keep neighborhood friendships strong while I met new kids was really beneficial.

@gestalt: Is it a magnet school? If so, I think you might find that there is a lot of movement in the school in terms of new kids coming in at all grade levels. That's how it is at my son's school. It's not just the incoming K that has new kids, it's all the grades.

So far none of my kids have attended their neighborhood school. Each has gone to a location with a more or less 10 minute commute. Our reasons have been numerous:

- neighborhood school only provided half day preschool versus full day.
- we've already established relationships at one of the schools
- academics

Not an issue for LO yet, but I went to private school in a neighborhood where almost all the kids went to the local public school. It was never an issue for me, I loved having "school friends" and "neighborhood" friends to hang out with.

I will mention that it ended up being a huge strain on my parents because my school attracted youth from a large area, and they often had to drive me an hour each way to my school friend's birthday parties and playdates!

@gestalt: it’s not exactly the same, but I switched schools going into third grade and don’t remember it being a bad experience at all. I was the new girl but made friends easily (and I wasn’t an outgoing kid at all). But as @Rocker2014: mentioned, it was harder in my parents because they had to drive me to friends houses that were further away. The school I attended was definitely better than my local school, but my parents also wanted us in catholic school anyway. Another con for them- I couldn’t get a bus because we were outside of their bussing area. But socially it was totally fine.