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Our situation is different, but after so many losses I've given this a lot of thought. I think it's different for every person, but that you'll know when the price isn't worth it anymore. As long as you and your SO are on the same page, then it's time when you decide it is. In our case, we wouldn't give up on kids entirely. We would move on to embryo adoption (probably), and if that failed then adoption. It's hard to say what we'd do in your case, since we only want one and you don't, but I definitely can understand and empathize with that feeling of just being overwhelmed with how sad and stressful it can be.

I was ready to give up right before our FET. I told myself that if the FETs didn't work, I was going to move on to adoption. No more IVF. The toll, emotionally, physically and financially was just too much. I think that when you are done you might just know. I don't think that the lack of success is necessarily a sign that you should stop, especially because you want this little one so badly. I'm so sorry that you're at this point- nothing feels worse than the helplessness of infertility.

We've been discussing this as well. We aren't sure where that line will be. For us, it might be before IVF. We don't have many options left. It is either keep trying naturally and chance the many miscarriages I may have to go through, or do IVF with genetic testing. $20,000 for one shot is hard to swallow. I feel guilty even contemplating it because it means it would be my son's college fund. I don't know how many consecutive miscarriages I can go through either though. I guess I'll just get to a point where I will say, nope we're just done. or, even better, hopefully will get to a point where I will just be pregnant. I know you've been through so much. I wish you peace and positivity and much luck!

I "gave up" very very early, a year in. I didn't want medical or chemical intervention. I never got pregnant, never miscarried, just nothing ever happened. We adopted and I'm happy with our timing.

2.5 years and still trying, no BFP to be seen yet. I think we'll give up when we've exhausted our options - 3 or 4 cycles of IVF would probably be my cut off. I just turned 35 so I feel like it's now or never, there's no taking a break from trying at this point since I'm not getting any younger. At that point, I guess we'd have to readjust our vision of life and family and just go from there.

You are definitely not alone. I remember feeling so hopeless... Took us so long. Three plus years, three failed iuis w clomid, we decided to try ivf just once, and if that didn't work, we would go for adoption. We definitely didn't want to be childless.

@jaguar: We are currently having this conversation at our house, too. After the two recent FET failures, we have talked to a new doc about trying again with the frosties we have left, but I'm having a hard time feeling hopeful that another FET will work since the remainder are not of the best quality. I can't really see going through another fresh cycle, but maybe that would in fact be our best bet. I've said that I would give it to the end of 2015 and then we will have to evaluate whether we are all done and happy with our family of three. I hate even having to consider it being everything being over after all this time, money, pain, emotions… well, you know! You are definitely not alone!

@jaguar: I think given all you have been through the past year, it is totally normal to wonder when enough is enough. We just had our second failed fet and have used up all of our frozen embryos. We're moving on to a fresh cycle in March. If that doesn't work, I'm not sure what we will do. I'm tired of being infertile and would like to move on and not feel like there is a grey cloud over me. I want to give my daughter a sibling and I want to be pregnant again. I know there will be a time when I say I'm done, and I'm giving myself permission to go back and forth on that. I do feel guilty for feeling sad and frustrated when I have this beautiful 19 month old running around and saying I lub you! But there is a part of me that doesn't feel complete yet. I really hope this next cycle works for you.

The universe can suck it.

(I realize that isn't exactly helpful, lol.) In all seriousness, I am so sorry you are struggling right now. It would be so much easier if we had a magic crystal ball telling us when this would all pay off... But as a crystal, I just know good things will come to you. I have every faith and hope that Georgia will have a sibling.

This feeling is all too familiar to me. We're 2 years in to TTC #1 and some days, I just throw my hands in air and say, "I quit!" The stress, the emotions, the marital struggles, the financial factor, and the fact that I keep planning everything around IF I'm pregnant...I don't know, it all just gets overwhelming sometimes. But I can't quit, and I won't quit. The thought of having a family consumes me and I don't think I'd ever be able to let that go, so I'm going to do everything I can and explore every avenue available until it happens. Adoption is very pricey, even here in America, but we'd make it work, or maybe we'd explore foster parenting. I don't know yet...we're starting with IVF and we'll see where this path takes us. We have discussed that if we are not pregnant by the end of 2015, we will likely give up on having our own child and look at other options.

@sarahnicole218: even if you adopt, they are still your own child .. But I know what you mean, there are still occasional times where I wish I could experience pregnancy again. I just keep reminding myself that this is the way our family was meant to be.

@jaguar: Lady, I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you...and to thank you you for starting this great thread.

I think it's impossible not to think of the endgame, especially when you're dealing with infertility AND loss...when really just one of those is hard enough.

I know DH and I would've probably moved to adoption sooner, if I hadn't already been pregnant once...but child-free was never a legitimate option for us. Too much of my identity and too many of my dreams for the future were wrapped up in parenthood for that.

I know you're hurting. I still believe that your baby is out there if you want him/her! Infertility/loss or just grief counselling might help. And I completely back what @momazon: said-- if at all possible, you should try to do a medicated FET with your doctor...or find another center that will. Forcing your ovaries to perform under the circumstances just doesn't seem right...

I don't know that I necessarily belong posting here, but we've been through this crap together, so I thought I'd share. If this pregnancy doesn't stick, I think I'm done. At that point, I will have been pregnant 6 times with 1 LO to show for it, and I don't think I can handle any additional losses. I might change my mind a few months out, but DH and I have been through so much loss that it would just be so hard for me to get past this. We have one amazing son, and I've come to terms that he will be enough.

I really hope that things turn around for you before you get to the point where you feel like you've had enough.

@jaguar: That's really great news! I know almost nothing about "natural" cycle FET, but it seems like medicated cycles have a really good track record!

I'm sorry you're going through this again.

For us, we were never going to do IUI/IVF/etc. It took us 19 months to conceive our first. She's now 18 months and we never used any contraception since she was born. I haven't found myself pregnant, so I think we're probably done, but I have a hard time even counting myself as a "real" case of infertility since we eventually conceived without intervention, but I just don't think I have it in me to go everything but the kitchen sink at this again.

I know exactly how you feel. We've been ttc for #2 for 1.5 years now and I'm just not ready to throw in the towel just yet. We've had 1 miscarriage and 3 failed IFV attempts locally. I am currently working with a clinic out of state bc it's supposedly the best and am completing three retrievals and banking with them. If that doesn't work, then I will have some decisions to make. Some days it is all I think about and other days I am beyond grateful to have my daughter. I guess just puts things into perspective when you have your health and a healthy child. My heart goes out to those who do not have any children. It is not an easy path but definitely makes you stronger in the end.