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@ValentineMommy: Goodness...so sorry to hear about your birth father. Sending lots of love and prayers to you as well
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@2PeasinaPod: At least with AF underway, you can move on a bit! That stinks about everyone getting sick on vaca - I hope everyone is feeling better! Thank you for the love and prayers - it is much needed.
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@ValentineMommy: So sorry to hear that! I saw the thread title, but I'm not gold, so I didn't know you'd written it and I can't read it. Sorry for your loss.
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@Jess1483: Oops, didn't think about that. I didn't want to make it open to everyone because I personally know some lurkers that didn't need to know my life details lol Long story short, I was adopted and met my birthdad 6-7 years ago. I haven't spoken to him in a year and he relapsed and ODed last night. (I knew he had relapsed which is why we hadn't spoken). I feel super guilty about not speaking in so long and that I feel worse about the m/c. I am mad about the way he died. I'm just all sorts of an emotional mess.
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@Jess1483: @ValentineMommy: same for me and DH. I wanted to talk about my loss all.the.time because while I still talked about the baby its memory was still alive. I wanted to tell the whole family,so they knew of it's existence. DH was much more private.
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@ValentineMommy: Oh man. that's incredibly rough!
Is there someone you can talk to about it?
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@FliegepilzHut: I'm glad for you that this phase is over and that you can start testing soon.
@2PeasinaPod: sorry you all got sick! That sucks.
I'm feeling surprisingly emotional about everything today. A friend said something very sweet about the baby I lost and it was a really lovely thing to say. Since this journey began I have had the most healing out of people remembering the baby, not just that I had a miscarriage, but that there was a baby, if that makes sense? Sadly, there have been a few miscarriages in our family lately among siblings and cousins. I hope they have all found each other and are all playing together somewhere.
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@travelgirl1: I still talk about it all the time and I think DH is just...over it. He is tired of hearing about it, because he is much more internal about these things. I have days where I'm super emotional about the m/c and I think that's totally normal. I'm glad you have family to lean on that understand what you're going through.
@MaryM: Unfortunately, not really. It's super awkward to talk to my parents about. Right now I just feel very isolated. After the m/c, isolation is a feeling I'm becoming accustomed to sadly. But, on the bright side, I have all of you and I really appreciate it.
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Have you looked into counseling? I went for about a year when my dad was sick/died (brain tumor) and it's probably the only thing that saved my relationship with DH (we weren't married yet, but were almost engaged)
DH would get frustrated because I did isolate and internalize things. But it also comforted him to know I was talking to a counselor even if I wasn't talking to him.
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@MaryM: I haven't yet, but am not opposed to it. I only found out this morning, so it's all very new. For now, I'm going to get through the funeral and see how I'm doing. I've dealt with a lot of death in my life, unfortunately. Somehow, this coming right after my m/c is what's really messing me up.
Sorry to threadjack here!
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@ValentineMommy: you aren't thread jacking, it's a thread for support, in whichever way you need it
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@ValentineMommy: I'm so sorry (and totally understand about wanting to put it on gold...I've been thinking about joining, but still haven't). I hope you are able to find the support you need, off-line or on-line. We're always here
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@ValentineMommy: I agree. The thread is called "beyond miscarriage" so we can bring up issues after the fact!
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@travelgirl1: @Jess1483: @MaryM: Thank you so much. I so appreciate your support. I really feel so awful that I am more upset about the m/c and anxious about TTC.....I feel so guilty. We were never super close or anything (we spoke on holidays and randomly), but still....
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@ValentineMommy: I'm so sorry about that news. xx
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Genetic testing is back.
We had a little boy, with Down's Syndrome.
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@jaguar: Wow. How do you feel about that news?
I'm sorry about your son. He was so loved, I know.
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@jaguar: I am so sorry. How are you holding up?
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So all of a sudden, I realized I can access gold threads. I'm assuming one of you ladies did that, and I thank you very much. It's nice to be able to block due date threads. And to keep up with all of you as well.
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@FliegepilzHut: You know... I'm ok. Sad, but ok. We were expecting there to be a reason for the loss - and there must have been medical issues there that weren't compatible with life, so it gives me a bit of closure. But I'd assumed all along I'd have another girl - and hearing we had a son... man. Thrown for a loop! I miss the baby today, but my heart has to start healing.
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@jaguar: wow. Just wow. You are one tough cookie. We're here for you!
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@jaguar:
I've been a bit of a wreck today, dealing with delays from my insurance company...and still just feeling "raw" from the entire experience. It would be nice if I get a sense of closure from my tissue results...but sadly they're still not back yet.
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@Tidybee: I certainly don't feel it! But I will get there. We all will. x
@FliegepilzHut: I hope it's soon. I think I can process things a bit easier now - but it's NEVER easy. Lots of love.
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@jaguar: Thank you! We will definitely get there.
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@jaguar: I'm sorry
That can't have been easy to hear.@FliegepilzHut: I hope your results come back soon and they help you start to heal
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@jaguar: I'm so sorry. I hope that having some answers makes moving on a little easier, though I know none of this is easy.
@Jess1483: It was me
Enjoy!@FliegepilzHut: I hope your results come back soon and that helps you move on, as well.
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@ValentineMommy: Thank you
I had to explain way too much of hellobee to my husband so he would understand why I was so happy last night (he's a bit scared, but it used to be weddingbee, so it's not like he isn't used to it...). Seriously made my day. I appreciate it!
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@Jess1483: You're welcome!!!!
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@jaguar: I'm so sorry. I hope your heart can heal soon...
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Thanks beautiful ladies, for the kind words.
No regrets finding out - I actually had a good night's sleep last night for the first time in a while, and J & I had a nice chat about it all. I'm grateful that there's no ongoing suffering, and that if we were going to lose our baby, it wasn't further along, or straight after birth - sounds callous, but I'm thinking for his sake more than anything.
Hopefully our last embryo is okay.
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@jaguar: I'm glad. Lots of good thoughts for your remaining embryo!
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@jaguar: I really hope you're healing
I am in a not great spot. had I not miscarried, I would be at 40 weeks now. That's pretty tough to imagine. It seems so long ago and yet like it was just yesterday all that the same time.
Anyway, I'm really happy that the gift exchange was arranged to come right after the EDD. I didn't plan it that way, but somehow things have a way of working out!
If anyone else is interested in joining us, feel free to. Sign ups are open until Monday. http://www.elfster.com/exchange/view/12144104/83e348/
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@MaryM: I'm so sorry it's a tough time for you right now. I'm dreading March for that reason. I'll be thinking of you today. An yay for the gift exchange!
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@MaryM: So much love to you. I'll be a huge mess in March, so sending you lots of strength. xx
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@MaryM: That is so hard...pretty much the worst, actually. Thinking of you.
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@MaryM: I'm a few weeks
Behind you - oct 11. Not looking forward to that as the odds of
Being pregnant then are slim. -
I'm back...Mr. Bee so graciously let me return. I left because I WANTED to be over this, not because I actually am. I need support and I have learned that most people IRL just don't get it. I missed you guys something fierce.
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@simplyfelicity: We are so glad to have you back. I'm sorry you're not finding the support you want IRL (me either), but I'm glad you know we're here for you!
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@simplyfelicity: People are such schmucks sometimes. Sorry that's the case... Good to see you again!
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My friend who told me she was pregnant the day I told her I was announced her pregnancy today. I am thrilled for her and she has been there for me 100%, but it still just totally sucks. It really does just hit you like a ton of bricks sometimes, doesn't it?
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