I'm starting to feel like this whole newborn breastfeeding journey is harder than labor itself. I don't know what's normal or not either. We had latch and milk issues in the beginning. A nipple shield has been helping immensely but now I'm second guessing my supply. We've been at the pediatrician six times now in two weeks. We went four days in a row when we first got home, then the Monday after the holiday weekend and this past Monday. We go back again on Thursday. From Thursday to Monday around July 4, LO gained about 2.5 ounces. And then gained only that in the past week despite feeding just about nonstop. The doctor didn't seem as concerned with her birth weight (she was only 1 ounce over birth weight at 18 days old) but more so how she's doing visit to visit. Today alone, she's eaten for over 5 hours in the last 12 hours. She hardly naps during the day. I put her down and she cries. She dozes at the breast but won't stay asleep or keep eating. After yesterday's appointment, I was told to wake her overnight to feed or pump to keep my supply up because she's been sleeping 6+ hours straight overnight. And to pump every couple feeds during the day. Except she just eats so how and when do I pump?! I don't know how she hasn't gained more weight. I don't know how to get her to nap. I'm still using the shield and taking both fenugreek and blessed thistle and drinking a good amount of water. This is so long and run on-y. I don't even know if I'm looking for advice, someone to commiserate, relate... Will this get better? When? Is there anything else I could be doing?
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Hugs. The first month of BFing was so hard for me. My milk did not come in for 9 days and I cried so much and was at the Dr's office a lot. I supplemented my LO with formula with a Medela SNS system until my supply picked up around the 3 week mark. I did the whole fenugreek, blessed thistle, water and oatmeal routine!
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@autumnlove: I go a stretch without crying (a week or so?) but I'm at the end of my rope for today... Is the SNS system the tube alongside your breast? Any other tips for increasing supply?
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@LindsayInNY: oh hugs mama! I am 3 days in to newborn feeding for the second go round and it is rough--and giving me flashbacks to LO1! Our situation sounds similar (my LO1 and your LO) because she ate all the time and I didn't know what to do!
Some things that helped a little:
-My ped told me to wait an hour from the end of a feeding to the start of the next so that she could get more full on hind milk rather than just suckling all the time and never letting me fill back up.
-I think DH and I also were quick to assume she was hungry and having that hour off gave me permission to rest while someone else figured out how to get her to stop crying that didn't involve wrecking my boobs!
-Good nipple cream goes a long way too.What are you most worried about now or most looking for support on? Nursing is so hard at the beginning but I promise it got better for us around 6 weeks. Hugs hugs hugs!
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I hated bf'ing my first son for the first 3 months. I felt like he ate all the time (and he cluster fed every night from 10-3, then woke again at 4 to eat). I was in pain, I had a crazy oversupply (which wasn't awesome because he didn't take a bottle), his diapers were green, it was AWFUL. It got better around 3 months, and I ended up nursing until 19 months. This time it's going much better. You'll find your groove, and other ladies will have more info about supply issues, but yes, it sucked. A lot. I feel you.
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Take a nursing holiday. Pick out some good movies/ books/ shows and just snuggle and nurse, don't look at the clock and don't pump. I've done it a couple times when my supply has gone down and it helps a lot. Also enroll dh to do the 5S for baby nap time. He was better at getting little one to rest than I was, if she was around me she wanted food even if she just ate, and she was gaining fine, there's just a really strong nursing drive in some LO. So dh taking her helped get her calm. And it's a great confidance boost for dads.
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Oh! speaking of good nipple cream: Ask your doc for "All Purpose Nipple Ointment." It's AMAZING.
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@MamaCate: How do I let her wait to eat? I just put her in the rock and play thing and she wailed. I finally picked her up and her face was all red and puffy looking. I think I'm most worried about my supply. I don't know if she's comfort sucking or really not getting enough to eat. I had time this morning to shower but she's basically been awake almost all day. She napped until 10 and got another hour of sleep but that's been it. I put her down to pee and she cries. I don't even know... And I'm only two days home alone and I'm already in tears. I didn't even go outside today. I'm dying for DH to get home just so I can bring the garbage out!
@Jess1483: The nipple shield is the only thing preventing my nipples from getting torn up! But seriously how do I survive another month of this hoping she adjusts?!
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@LindsayInNY: yes, a tube that I taped to my boob with a hanging bottle. It was a pain but I think it helped for me. I just tried to pump as much as possible to stimulate my supply even when I wasn't getting a single drop the first week or so!
My ped and lactation specialist suggested heat to stimulate supply before nursing or pumping. I used something called Booby Tubes...I bought on Amazon!Good luck!
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@Maysprout: How do I do that without her crying though? Every time I try and put her down she cries. I've gotten a couple of moments where she's just been calm in my arms and not eating. I definitely noticed that LO was easier to calm with DH or my mom. DH is at work and not home until 7:30. I feel terrible because I literally just want to hand her off right now.
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I never had supply issues, though I definitely doubted myself plenty and thought I did, but C used to nurse constantly too. And she hardly napped unless she was in the moby, on me, walking outside. I don't have any advice since it sounds like you already have some good advice, just commiserating. You can do it!
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That sounds a lot like us. No advice, just commiseration. I was hooked up to a hospital grade pump for 30 minutes at a time any spare moment my son was off the boob beginning in the hospital so I know my milk didn't even begin to come in for a week. We started supplementing at 3 weeks after constant weight loss issues and weigh ins and bleeding nips from near constant clusterfeeding. My ped asked me to try some formula because I wasn't getting any sleep. I was on a million supplements and lactation cookies so I started EPing every few days because I wanted to see how much milk I was making (I know pumping isn't as efficient as nursing blah blah whatever). I still wasn't making a lot and found one boob vastly underperformed compared to the other, but it was the boob my son liked best. So I started EPing full time to give him decent sized feeds. My milk supply didn't fully kick in until 6-ish weeks and even then the most I made was 25oz a day? At his peak my son was drinking 30-32oz so we always had at least one formula bottle a day until he went down to 24oz again but by that point (8.5 months) I was over EPing. It was stressful but my son is doing awesome now at 10 months and we have zero regrets about combo feeding. Perhaps I will have better supply the next time but combo feeding worked for us.
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Hugs to you mama! I remember with my first I thought that even after IF, pregnancy, and labor, breastfeeding took the cake for how HARD it was! Now that I am going through it again with my second child, and I'm having a better experience all around, I know that some breastfeeding experiences just SUCK!
All of those appointments, ugh. Stress! Thinking about when to pump on top of all of the time the baby is on the breast. Stress! I guess what I'm saying is, stress was a big factor in my lack of success the first time around. That, and a really bad latch. And never-ending rounds of thrush, and...I could go on.
So what advice can I offer? Cliche - sleep when the baby sleeps. You need that time to recoup if you can. And try and do things that help you destress. This time around I am so much less stressed.
It does get better, I can honestly say that now because I am having a good experience (knock on wood - I'm only 3 weeks in...). But for my first, it didn't. And at 3 months, we switched to formula and everyone was much happier.
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@LindsayInNY: oh this is such a rough phase- just saw your updates. Have you tried a carrier? Once I figured out putting C in the moby it was a life changer. Of course having her sleep not attached to me would have been preferable but you can't have everything. And surprisingly being that close to the boob wasn't an issue for her.
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Hugs!! I'm so sorry....I've been there, you sound exactly like me with LO1. I'll share a bit and try to help...She wanted to cluster feed non stop, like literally from the moment she woke up until bedtime she was attached to my boob. I kept thinking she must not be getting enough bc it seemed like she was ALWAYS hungry! I recommend joining a lactation/breastfeeding support group. It was great to get out of the house those early days and they had a scale there so I could do weighted feeds. Turns out, she was getting plenty, she was just nursing all the time to help build my supply. It sucked, I'm not going to lie, but it got much easier around the 3 month mark- her feelings spaced out to a normal 3 hour range. But I never had to worry about supply issues bc of those early days/weeks when she was wanting to nurse 24/7, she really helped build my supply.
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@Foodnerd81: She does nap in the carrier so maybe I need to force us to take walking breaks during the day so that she naps?
@sweetooth: I want to nap when she naps but she hardly naps! And I know she's tired too! It's exhausting and this is only my second day home alone with her.
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@NovBaby1112: My local hospital (not where I delivered) has a group that meets every other week. I went yesterday before the doctors appointment so I didn't realize this was an issue. They have a FB group so I might post there depending on how Thursdays weigh in goes?
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@LindsayInNY: hugs! I could never nap when he napped either because the minute I'd fall asleep he'd wake back up to eat.
I was also told to wake him up every few hours overnight to get him to eat more. I had an alarm clock set for every 2.5 hours overnight. -
Do any hospitals near you have a weekly BF support group? I found it immensely helpful, especially when we got T's tongue clipped, and for hearing what normal was for so many other women.
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@LindsayInNY: I used to hand her off--I didn't realize you are home alone now. I think the carrier is a great idea and we liked the money. Does she take a pacifier? I don't know if you want to introduce one but it might help tell the difference between comfort sucking and hunger? I honestly don't remember how old lo was when we added that. If she was hungry she would spit it out but other times she would take it for a little while.
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@LindsayInNY: I might have missed this but have you seen a lactation consultant? I think that many (most?) insurance plans cover at least one visit. The newborn days are SO hard and breastfeeding is a huge hurdle. Pediatriciansvare great at what they do, but they are not usually very educated on breastfeeding and definitely not on how to build supply. With my first LO I found a BF support group lead by an LC to be incredibly helpful. With my second LO I had great success with a one time LC appointment. Sometimes just having someone tell you you're doing everything right or helping you to make a plan makes all the difference!
It will get SO much better mama.
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@blackbird: The hospital nearby does twice a month. I went yesterday but thought everything was going okay. This was pre-weight check. There are a lot of non-first time moms there. I was going to wait and see how Thursdays doctors appointment goes and if were still struggling, post to their FB group for advice.
@MamaCate: We were told to wait until 4 weeks for a pacifier so we've been trying to hold out.
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@MrsF: I have... Our local hospital (I didn't deliver there) has one twice a month that's run by a LC. I went to the group when LO was 5 days old and then yesterday. I also met with the LC once in between. Our pediatrician is a LC too but I don't know if she's IACLC or whatever is lesser. My insurance doesn't cover anyone local which sucks.
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I didn't put them down much when I took a nursing holiday. We just sat in bed or on the couch and I let her fall asleep nursing if she wanted. She nursed and nursed and nursed, just to establish supply, then it doesn't have to be so much. Do you have any friends that could visit during the day? My first was so resistant to being put down I baby wore her a lot, dh took over when he got home, and we had visitors.
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I was always constantly worried about my supply. The first 2 months are the worst! I don't know how helpful this is but I always felt like if she's not fussing at the breast then she's probably getting milk. If she's not getting anything she would probably be very upset while trying to nurse. But I'm not an expert at all! I would just let her stay latched as much as she wants, even while she sleeps.
What I did to pump was after she was good and asleep I would sneak a paci in and lay her in the boppy right next to me on the couch. Then I would pump for 20 minutes. But if she's not letting you put her down at all, I'm not sure what to suggest.
As for napping, will she sleep while you wear her?
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@LindsayInNY: boo
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I'm sorry
It is so hard in the beginning!
My DD did not gain for a few weeks and she too would sleep 5-7hrs at night, I made sure to feed her every 3 hrs at night! That helped her gain!
I think being in the breast that much is normal and a lot is for comfort!
Hope you get some relief and also if you are in any pain
All purpose nipple ointment is AMAZING!
Ask as it is filled at a compound pharmacy only -
I didn't read everything so my apologies if it's already been asked or said.
You said you are concerned knowing how much she's getting in a session, have you met with a LC and done a weighted feeding? It'll give you a better idea of how much she's getting during a feeding. She may not be getting a full feeding which can be a reason why she's snacking.
I exclusively used a nipple shield starting at 4 weeks because it was too painful to nurse any longer without it. At LOs 2 month appt he hadn't gained much weight. He averaged .5 oz a day, when a 1 oz gain is preferred by our pedi and LC. After that we went cold turkey on the nipple shield and he ended up gaining 3 pounds in one month. It was so painful and felt like I was breathing through contractions each time he latched, but it's slowly getting better now at 3 months.
One thing my LC suggested when using the shield is to do a feeding then pump for 10-15 minutes and feed LO that pumped milk. The shield can lower your supply so the pumping helps maintain your supply. It's long and exhausting but hopefully you can get off the shield soon and you wouldn't have to nurse, pump, bottle feed for long.
Hang in there! Breastfeeding has been the hardest thing I've done and so many times I wanted to stop but I'm glad we've pushed through. We are all here for support!
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Honestly, supplementing saved our nursing relationship. Might be something to consider.
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If you don't want to throw in the towel at least once with breastfeeding, you are lucky! I remember reading a thread on here and people consistently said 6 weeks was when things got easier. I set that as a date for myself to reach and decide if I wanted to continue (I did). Almost eveyone has challenges.
You can look at Quinn's jaw for movement and also listen to hear if she's eating. I know people fear the pacifier, but it saved us. No nipple confusion, and it helped with her need to suck. And it helps prevent SIDS.
I'm not sure about the pumping. Is your supply definitely low? If you're waking her and she's definitely eating, that seems like it should be sufficient. I feel like the LCs I saw would say not to worry about pumping right now.
Also--just read this article the other day. Kind of long for a tiref new mom, so you may want to scroll down to the end to click on the link with videos!
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I feel like I could have written this exact post 5 months ago. Breastfeeding is SO hard. I EP'd for a month due to latch issues, then I used the nipple shield for a month, then LO ripped it off and we've had a "normal" breastfeeding relationship since then.
I can commiserate with you when you say she does not nap at all. I was sick and damn tired of those moms who talked about how sleepy their newborns were and how they would nap for hours on end. My DD would only sleep in my arms. The minute her head hit the crib or bassinet, it was game over. It was like this for my 3 month maternity leave, then I sent her to daycare and she took 1-2 hour naps for them. WTF kid. I do think it was the whole 4th trimester thing going on. Looking back, I'm glad I spent all those days glued to a chair cuddling her.
I would be careful taking the fenugreek and the blessed thistle. I know I have allergies to certain herbs, so I am more wary and cautious. I was always nervous they would give DD a bellyache or something. Just a thought...though it's probably just fine.
Do you see the same Dr. for each weight check? I find that the opinions of the doctors at our practice vary WIDELY in regards to weight. In the past 3 weeks, we have seen 3 doctors: first one said to give LO cereal to beef her up, second one said her weight is just perfect, third one asked me to consider fortifying my breastmilk. If it's an option, you might consider seeing another doctor in the same practice for one visit.
Sorry I'm so long winded, it's just that breastfeeding and weight are the two things that have consumed my worries the past 5 months. I'll be thinking of you! Hang in there.
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@LindsayInNY: Oh, I totally understand/remember. I tried to take it one day at a time. Truly. Every morning I'd say "today, I'll breastfeed. No promise for tomorrow." I was cracked and bleeding, then used a nipple shield and hated it (LO kept knocking it off and covering us both in milk). I actually spent a lot of time googling when people give up nursing so I could feel better about still breastfeeding at XX days or weeks. And then "just one more day" turned into "one more week" and pretty soon it became easy.
I will say that a lot of people said it would get a lot better at 6 weeks. It didn't for me, and I felt discouraged. It did get a LOT easier at 3 months, though, and by 6 months, I actually enjoyed it.
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PS I read somewhere that you feel your mom and DH have an easier time calming her down. This was reality for me. When I was on maternity leave, DH had to do bedtime. All I wanted after a long day at home with her was for her to GO TO SLEEP. I know she could sense all my built up tension and stress, no matter how patient and loving I was to her. Now that I'm back at work, I do bedtimes and it is so sweet. Take advantage of DH doing bedtime and take a bath, read a book, SLEEP, SHOWER, EAT...anything
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Have you seen a good ibclc? If not, see one ASAP! Also, the shield can prevent some babies from getting enough milk and stimulating the breast enough, so I'd suggest ditching it ASAP. Hang in there, those first few weeks (or months) are rough!
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@LindsayInNY: at this point don't worry about comfort nursing. If she wants to nurse let her have it. That's natures way of helping with your supply. It sounds like she's doing what a baby is supposed to be doing. And I doubt you have supply issues if she's already back up at birth weight. Go with the flow and keep it up (STM advice)!
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I didn't end up having success with bf'ing but I felt a lot like that being a sahm while DH worked. The frustration, the not getting them calm, the end of your rope feeling- not pleasant at all but normal. I never knew what people meant by staying in bed with lo all day since my lo needed movement to have any chance of napping. It's tough but hang in there!
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@LindsayInNY: sounds normal! you are doing great and hang in there! are you eating a lot? that really made a difference in my supply. pump after she eats to increase supply. you can also pump at night if you don't want wake her, but you probably want to not go more than 2-3 hours without pumping and feeding.
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@LindsayInNY: yes! DD didn't nap unless she was in the ergo. We walked a lot! I also let her "sleep eat," just held her while she "kind of" dozed...
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@LindsayInNY: Keep up the good work mama. I know you said you're drinking a lot of water. Make sure you're eating plenty too. It can be hard if you can't set LO down.
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I had my baby girl on 6/24 and have been reading along with the June boards for a while but this post finally made me chime in.
We are having the same woes... although my baby has NEVER slept for that long at night. or ever.
She had only gained 2.5 oz at her 2 week check up- still 3.5 oz under her birth weight. I was sent home with formula, feeling pretty crappy and scared I was starving her. We started supplementing 1-3x a day depending on her hunger cues after feedings (which average every 2-3 hrs per day). She does not nap much- maybe a couple good stretches twice a day- and usually she only really naps well if held or after formula or good nursing sessions (which are rare since she transfers milk poorly at the moment). Long story short, between 2 trips to a lactation support clinic in town at the hospital where she was born (highly recommend trying to find one near you if you can), my midwife, and the pediatrician, it seems like my baby has a lazy suck which is resulting in a less than desirable milk transfer. My supply is there but she doesn't empty my breasts (almost had a mastitis scare yesterday and today) and I am feeding her SO often... pumping isn't working well yet even with a hospital grade pump we rented.
I could go on, but just know that my 20 day old baby is not much different than your newborn. Breastfeeding has been much harder than I ever expected. Find support locally in case there is a supply/transfer issue, call friends, relax (with some wine even!), check out kellymom.com, and take comfort knowing there are some others of us out there in similar situations.
She had only gained 2.5 oz at her 2 week check up- still 3.5 oz under her birth weight. I was sent home with formula, feeling pretty crappy and scared I was starving her. We started supplementing 1-3x a day depending on her hunger cues after feedings (which average every 2-3 hrs per day). She does not nap much- maybe a couple good stretches twice a day- and usually she only really naps well if held or after formula or good nursing sessions (which are rare since she transfers milk poorly at the moment). 
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