-
I don't feel like I should give advice since my LO is younger than yours but I would totally cave and try the pacifier. It sounds like she is a great (almost too great :wink:) of a nurser. L has been using a pacifier since I realized he was using me as a pacifier. We do a combo of BF and supplimenting with pumped BM. Sometimes, I will pump one breast while he is latched onto the other.
I know it's not ideal but I would try wearing her around the house (not sure if you said you already tried that.
I am only two weeks in but I can totally commiserate. Hoping it gets better soon.
-
First off, you're doing really great! It can be so easy to feel like you're failing with breastfeeding because it's difficult to measure success - it's not like your baby just says to you that they are full! You really are doing great
A lot of moms are worried about supply, and the more friends and other moms I talk to or hear from about breastfeeding, it feels like this is such a common worry. It can be really hard to know if supply is the main issue, so I guess my encouragement is to keep nursing on demand and try your very best to just not even pay attention to a clock. It is totally consuming and exhausting that first month (I definitely cried a LOT) but it is also well within the norm for a newborn to nurse basically nonstop for several hours. That's how the baby is triggering your body to continue to make milk, and that's helping maintain your supply. I think it's also helpful to know that many newborns and babies don't really "organize" their sleep into naps for quite a while. I remember reading about babies taking these 2 hour naps from early on, and that's just not the case for every baby. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is a HUGE range of what is normal for both nursing and sleep.
One thing you may want to try that I think someone else already suggested is trying to nurse a bit without the nipple shield. It can really hinder supply (as far as I know) and I've heard from other moms that it can be harder to "wean" from the shield if you wait a super long time...but I'm not sure what that golden window is.
-
@LindsayInNY: even if your insurance doesn't cover a local IBCLC, it's totally worth paying out of pocket for one if you can swing it. I had one come to our house and she saved my sanity -- well worth the $100.
-
Some things that can cause nursing to be harder: food allergy or intolerance specifically MSPI, tongue and or lip tie, latch issues.
I have had all three between my kids. Having a newborn is hard but it really shouldn't be that hard.
-
This might not be the answer you are looking for but I would give her a bottle of formula and see how she reacts. If she gulps it down/drinks a tonne/falls asleep you might have low supply. If she's not really interested or only drinks a little then it might be comfort nursing.
It would also allow you time to pump as well and which could give you an idea of your supply.
-
@Maysprout: this!
STRESSING about your supply doesn't help. stop worrying and know your baby and you are going to be ok. let her suck! my guy cluster fed like crazy and the past three weeks he has calmed it down and i've been able to pump and even start a freezee stash -- something i started to feel like i would never be able to do. -
it will get better, i promise! almost every mom struggles with breastfeeding and considers throwing in the towel. so normal. you're doing awesome.
- feed her at least every two hours if she doesn't feed more frequently on her own (definitely wake her to eat, newborns need to feed frequently)
- during the day when she dozes, tickle her feet, rub under her chin, undress her (to get her body cool), etc. anything to keep her from a deep sleep so she keeps sucking - that action will stimulate more milk production
- the best time to pump, bar none, is in the early morning hours. if she's snacking and not draining sufficiently, there is always something to express, especially if you are engorged and leaky. make sure to get every drop out and massage at the same time. i always pumped from 1-2am for the best results. then when i was up around 7-8am, my supply was high and i pumped again after the morning feed.
- lots of skin to skin
- power pump! oatmeal every morning, lots of water, soup
- remember, a newborn's belly is teenie, tiny. so she won't be drinking 8 oz just yet.
good luck, it might get worse before it gets better, but it will get better!
-
Breastfeeding my LO for the (almost) 3.5 months (and counting...) that she has been alive has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. Every single day has been a challenge and every day I think about quitting. I don't want to scare you but for me it actually got much harder at 3 months. We've had issues with screaming/fussing at the breast since about 5 weeks old but could always get past it and get good feeds in every day, but lately she's flat-out rejecting the breast about half the time. I sympathize with other commenters, I know I have spent time looking up the benefits my LO has already gotten by making it this far, to make myself feel better if we have to end up quitting soon. Hang in there, it's so difficult and you are a great mama for trying to make it work.
-
@Maysprout: Sadly no one to visit really. I've basically been just letting her eat but there comes a point where it's not really replenishing either.
@jmarionsmith: Very true. She's not fussing like she's hungry so she must be getting something! I tried pumping last night when DH got home and literally nothing came out
I'm going to try getting her to nap in the carrier if that ends up helping. @Boopers: Sorra. The nearest LC is 15 miles away. The local hospital has a BF group run by a LC and I've seen her in the group twice and once individually. I saw her/the group this past Monday when I thought things were going well (pre-weigh in). She personally hasn't done a weighted feed because everything was looking/seeming fine. We've tried at the pediatricians but LO always pees open air or something to throw it off a bit. I really want to get off the shield and need to make a better effort at trying to do it. It's such a pain to use. I have been trying to pump (as of the doctors recommendation on Monday). The middle of the night pump was productive but nothing came out when I tried when DH got home last night.
@Happygal: Okay 6 weeks... So were almost halfway there!
Her jaw definitely moves when eating. It's hard to watch for swallowing though for some reason. She's slow though. I don't know if there's a supply issue or not? The LC and pediatrician didn't seem to think so? Do you have that article you could send? Anything helps at this point!@Mrs. Coral: We mostly see the same doctor who really hasn't been worried. We saw someone different this past Monday and then go back to the usual on Thursday. The lack of napping just kills me! I pray she'll fall asleep on me because eventually I can usually move her or at least sleep as is.
@Mrs.Someone: I have and LO was feeding fine so she didn't think there was anything to worry about. And LO, of course, latches fine in front of her without the shield but that isn't usually the case at home. I do wonder what effect the shield is having and really want to try and get off of it. I need to make a better effort at trying.
-
@T.H.O.U.: Thank you
@Greentea: I think I'm eating enough? I'm definitely trying to eat whenever hungry. And this is the second night with mid-night wakings to feed followed by pumping.
@Corduroy: The eating can definitely be tough. Yesterday was a good example of eating what I easily could when she would allow for it.
@ldh112: Sounds like you're in the sale boat!! Anyone who's watched her feed (LC or pediatrician), thinks she's doing just fine. I do think she's a slower feeder for whatever reason. We haven't been offered to supplement yet and I feel like they would suggest it if there was concern. I just need to relax with this and have faith in LO and the process I think. Right now is a great example though... She just fed over 20 minutes on one side and there's still milk left in the shield. I do believe it'll get better but man is this tough!!
-
Hang in there mama! This sounds exactly like my DS, constant eating, barely sleeping unless at the breast and latch issues. I would definitely recommend going to the breastfeeding group at your hospital. I went several times with my DS and they offered a ton of support and advice. Also, I wish someone had told me to just go with the flow. If she wants to eat, let her eat, if doesn't want to snooze other than in your arms/carrier, let her. I got so stressed out about what I was "supposed" to be doing with my newborn that didn't want to follow the rules. The first few months of being a new parent are so hard as you figure everything out, but it will get better!
-
@simplyfelicity: DH actually suggested pumping one side while feeding her. I would have to figure that one out lol. During the day I'm in the living room but the pump is in the nursery since that's where I am at night. I just fed her and put her back to bed but now am up pumping. So this would've been a good time to do both so I could get back to bed!
@Mrswonderwoman: My goal this week was to try and get off the shield. That's when I thought LO had gained enough weight. But now I feel like I'm just prioritizing things for the time being.
@PurplePeony: I did see one at the local hospital who doesn't charge. I might go back if Thursdays weigh in isn't ideal. She didn't seem to think there were any issues when I've seen her before.
@brownie: I think it's latch issues for us which is why we need the shield, causing problems in and of itself.
@rosegold: Thank you, you're right...
@SupernovaJ: I'm pumping as we speak
I don't know if I'm expecting too much? She only fed from one side and the other side isn't pumping a ton? Then again I don't know how much is normal... I have to get better with the mid-night wake ups because it takes too long to get her to wake and feed. What's the benefit of oatmeal and how often?
-
@LindsayInNY: firstly I just wanted to say you're doing a great job so hang in there!
Have you tried the 5s's to help your wee babe nap? A tight swaddle, some white noise and maybe a paci might help her to get into a deep sleep. You could also set yourself up with a safe sleep surface so you could sleep with her, lots of babies will nap better with mum and you might be able to sneak away once she's been asleep for awhile. Another suggestion would be to put her in the stroller or wrap / carrier and take her out for a walk.
If you don't have great access to an IBCLC you could try contacting LLL in your area. They probably would come visit you at home and can be really helpful for general parenting stuff too!
Oatmeal is a galactalogue and helps boost milk supply, I've been nursing for almost three years now and still have it for breakfast every morning!
One last thing (I feel like I've written a novel!), how is baby's output? If she's having plenty of wet and dirty nappies then she's probably getting enough milk.
-
Have you had anyone weigh her before/after a feed? It would at least give you an idea of what she's taking in at feedings vs what she could be if her suck or your supply is in question. Of course it's just a snapshot of how feeding hoes and she will consume more/less at various feeds. Does she root around a lot after eating? That's when I'm supplementing, if after 30-50 minutes of switching breasts over and over she is still hungry.
-
@LindsayInNY: have you looked for ties? I know they looked to see if mine had a tongue tie and her tongue stuck out. 8 weeks later she had a posterior tie revised and life is sooooo different. She went from nursing all day to 15 minutes. I could finally tell the difference between actively eating and comfort nursing (and this was my second kid so that explains how hard it is). I didn't think I was in pain, but after the revision it was much nicer already.
Latch issues is a good problem to have. Because as long as you have someone (which it sounds is hard for you), they usually can get fixed. Unless there is an underlying issue.
-
@LindsayInNY: when you first start pumping nothing will come out because you're telling your body you want/need more, it takes a little time to get with the program.
Even if you're getting nothing you're still stimulating milk production!
-
@lamariniere: I've gone to the group twice now - it's every other week. They have a FB group too which helps in between, if necessary. I think you're right - I just need to go with the flow and do whatever works for me/her.
@Kemma: I haven't tried the 5 S's per se... I only know about it vaguely. I should get the book or DVD to learn more. It certainly can't hurt at this point! I told DH today that I need to make a concerted effort to take a walk each day. It sucks it's so hot out but I need to do it for my sanity and so that she'll (hopefully) sleep! The lady who runs the local BFing group at the hospital is a IBCLC so I do have that as an option, if necessary. Didn't know about oatmeal but I'll make that more of a breakfast option now. And, as for output, LO is going a ton! 9 changes the last couple days (sometimes she goes again right after being changed, of course...). Most changes are pee and poop. Yesterday had a couple pee only but usually there's poop. So I feel like that's a good sign that she's eating enough?
@ldh112: We have at the pediatrician when she's been hungry when I've gotten there. And it seems promising? She tends to doze at the end of a feed or just come off on her own.
@brownie: I tried at the suggestion of someone at the BFing group but it was hard to tell. The pediatrician (two of them) and the LC have watched her latch and feed and haven't suggested that maybe she has a tie? I might ask tomorrow, just in case? At least to rule that out. The latch issues are just flat nipples which is why the shield has been helping, as much as I hate it.
@jmarionsmith: So should I keep trying? Once LO feeds overnight or early morning, I can usually pump an ounce or two afterwards. Nothing came out last night because she had been feeding all.day.long. I usually give the pump about 10 minutes to see if anything comes out or if it has, if it slows down. Is that sufficient?
-
@LindsayInNY: I don't often post, but I can relate, so I thought I would throw in my two cents. My DS is now 19 months old and we were able to successfully bf for 9 months (I work out of the home so after that last growth spurt my body couldn't keep up!)
On the day after my DS was born he was brought in from the nursery at the hospital with a paci and I kinda freaked out. One of the nurses in the hospital told me something that I will remember forever when it came to offering the paci. Babies are born with 2 basic instincts, to breathe and to suck. If you offer the paci to help with the sucking (comforting) instinct and she needs it just to be comforted then she will suck , be happy and probably sleep! If she's hungry, the paci will not give her food and she knows that so she'll cry. From what it sounds like since she is only happy on your breast it sounds like she is using you as her pacifier. So, try it and if she quiets (and sleeps!) then she just needs the comfort of sucking not necessary the nourishment of food. Does that make sense? If she's hungry the paci will not feed her and she'll let you know!
On the nursing front, maybe (with the help of the paci) try to make her hold off between nursing sessions maybe an hour and a half/ two hours..you can work up to it! I would guess, that she's not getting full from a feeding because she's "snacking" all day. So, she's not getting the feeling/comfort of having a full belly, which is probably why she's not napping great/for long periods. She's feeling the hunger pangs more often/sooner than she would if she had a full feeding. If you can try to hold her off for 1-2 hours then give her a full feeding, it will be like night and day!
-
@LindsayInNY: glad that it sounds like you have a plan for the day and who to reach out too. Two quick things:
-for pumping, the rule of thumb seems to be 15 minutes but I am not sure why. Pumping last night is good to help promote supply even if you didn't get anything.
-I have flat/inverted nipples and they gave me nipple shells, not shields, at the hospital to wear between feeds to draw them out. It feels weird but it has helped a lot. Just one more thing to think about!
-getting out of the house is a great idea. Can you walk around the mall if it is too hot outside?Hoping today is better than yesterday!!
-
@LindsayInNY: I could have written this when my LO was little. It gets better. He had low sleep needs so did not nap very much and if he did, it was 20 minutes at a time. I was at my wits end. He also didn't gain much in the first month. My guess is that she is cluster feeding to build your supply and/or comfort nursing.
Have you tried introducing a pacifier? I know, I know, nipple confusion, and all that but for us, it helped immensely and he never had any issues with nipple confusion (went back and forth between breast and bottle and used his pacifier for comfort). Just a thought.
As for pumping, I'd suggest only pumping once a day after her first morning feed after the longest stretch of sleep. That's when you will have the highest supply and you can start to build a bit of a stash if you need a break.
-
I had similar issues with my LO in the early days. You should see if there is a Lactation consultant who can come to you, some do phone or video consultations too.
My LO had low weight gain and loved to comfort suck. I was told as soon as she hit her birth weight you could give her a pacifier. Have you seen the difference between nibbling and sucking?
Nibbling
http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=vid-nibbling
Good Drinking
http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=vid-reallygood
Watching those helped me figure out when she was just comfort sucking. I would let her go a few minutes to see if she'd drink again and if she was getting sleepy and nibbling and pop her off. If she whined I'd give her a pacifier to satisfy her sucking needs.As for weight gain. We added a formula feed in, and while she was formula feed I pumped. After a few days I had enough to give her breast milk instead of formula. It's best to do it when someone else is around so you can pump while she's being fed. I also found formula filled her up a bit more so she slept a bit longer.
As for the sleeping, my LO isn't much of a napper but always had great sleeps at night. When she wasn't gaining well we were feeding her every two hrs (with the occasional longer stretch if she was sleeping during the day), at night it was every 2 hrs I'd do a dream feed in a dark room. After a week of that she had gained well and we stretched out the night feeds. Even now at 3 months she eats every two hrs during the day, but sleeps 6-7hrs in a row at night.
We also swaddled, had white noise and a sleep routine (song, shushes then to bed). Even now if we're out and shes getting tired/fussy, i'll swaddle her and shush her and she'll fall asleep.
At that age she would have a sleep in the carrier or a sleep in the swing during the day, then bassinet at night.
-
I think definitely worth getting checked for a tt, even if just to rule it out. My sons was missed by pedeatricians at the hospital, our local gp and even an ibclc (she never looked in his mouth). Something you can look out for yourself is that when she cries, her tongue should raise to the roof of her mouth. If it stays on the bottom of her mouth and goes into a sort of spoon shape, she could well have a posterior tt. I am no expert but this is how I worked it out in my son and was able to finally get his sorted at 5 months. Sending lots of hugs, it sounds like you are doing a great job
-
This sounds really similar to how my LO's weeks 2-5 went. It sucked.
The way to nurse and pump at the same time is with a hands-free nursing bra that zips up the middle and baby in a football hold supported by a pillow. You unzip the middle panel just enough to fold the baby side up over your boob. One of those combo nursing pumping bras like the Dairy Fairy one would also work. I'll see if I can get sweetie to take a picture later to help describe it better -- I couldn't really figure out how to do it until my LC actually wrangled me into position.
I combo pumped/nursed once every 2-3 hours during the day however best lined up with LO's feeding demands. I tried to alternate which side was the pump side and which side was the baby side. However, if one side seemed fuller, I always made that the baby side.
Aside from stimulating supply, I think that pumping and feeding at the same time did help me to both feed him a little more and pump a little more. Both pump and baby were stimulating letdowns, and each triggered some that the other might not have.
The advice people get about how long to pump seems to be all over the map and I've never seen any research to back it up. But, FWIW, the advice I got was:
• 10-15 minutes is good if you're trying to set aside a little milk but you want to minimize stimulating a supply increase.
• 15-20 minutes is adequte for most women to make up for a missed feeding or to maintain supply when away from baby.
• 20-30 minutes is most helpful to build supply.In the evening when Sweetie was home and we wanted baby to go to bed, he bottle fed the expressed milk while I took 1.5-2h of alone time. I double pumped for 20 minutes (usually in the tub) during that time.
I wouldn't be surprised if your supply needs some building up since nursing with a nipple sheild sometimes doesn't stimulate your supply well plus your LO's weight gain has been at the bottom of the acceptable range.
-
@LindsayInNY: http://www.mothering.com/articles/natural-breastfeeding/
A link would be helpful--here you go!
-
@LindsayInNY Another June 2015 mama chiming in -- oh, this sounds so much like me!!! LO is half a week away from 4 weeks old and BF has been so incredibly difficult, way more difficult that I imagined. LO is a chomper -- I swear it feels like he has teeth -- and has been from the very beginning. We've seen the lactation consultant at our pediatrician's office at least 4x since coming home and while things have improved overall, BF is still a huge struggle. (Slow weight gain since coming home, nipple soreness, feeding sessions that run about an hour long, baby has to be swaddled for feeding or else it is arms and legs everywhere, baby is either ravenous or 1000% passed out ... I could go on and on!)
DH went back to work a few days ago and it's been a rough go - he did everything when I was still in heavy-duty C-section recovery so it's been stressful trying to learn how to do things on my own. I have all of these gorgeous A&A swaddle blankets but I can't figure out how to swaddle with them to save my life.
Basically, it blows right now. Super tired, super stressed. Handing off the baby as soon as DH gets home has helped -- if that means supplementing with formula, so be it. I used to care but now I'm over it. If that gets me a nap or a window of time to brush my teeth or shower, I'll take it.
I have no real tips -- ha, I'm just ranting now, sorry!! -- but I am right there with any other new mama struggling through this breastfeeding business!!! -
@walnutems: That makes a ton of sense about the paci. I actually sent what you said to my husband! We've been slowly using it which has been helping a little.
@MamaCate: I bought the shells - they arrive tomorrow! Do I just wear them before BFing? All the time?
@MrsKoala: The doctor said she's old enough now to not have nipple confusion so we've been slowly using the pacifier now. I'm debating supplementing once a day so I can pump instead?
@Banana330: LO definitely isn't nibbling like the video but also isn't sucking as good as that video either. Makes me feel a little better. We have thought about supplementing for a feed so I can pump then which I'm fine with doing at this point.
@Bubbles: I asked the pediatrician today and she said LO's lip/tongue looked fine. So ruled that out!
@lilyofthewest: I think I need to try pumping a bit longer to see if I can get another let down. Or we might supplement (via DH feeding her) so I can pump them instead. I think my supply could definitely be increased so hopefully some of this helps.
@extrasprinkles: I hate that you're dealing with this but it also helps to know I'm not alone!! We just had pediatrician visit #7 in 2 1/2 weeks today... I dread getting the copay bills. LO tends to nap in the morning but I'm not tired enough to nap then. And it's really my only time to do anything. Yesterday I showered, did the dishes, made a sandwich for lunch since I knew I wouldn't be able to later... I just keep reminding myself that this will get better. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
-
@LindsayInNY: I wear the shells all the time for a while and just take them off to nurse and shower (and rinse them out occasionally). They can also help by catching the letdown on the side you are not feeding so that can be a little extra to give LO.
I have been trying to teach my newborn to latch and I was watching him last night and thinking of you. Can you tell when your LO is full? The biggest cue for me is his hands and body posture: hungry=tense body, hands fisted and by his face, actively rooting and looking for food; full=relaxed body, hands down by sides, arms relaxed, chilled out. (I will try to find a picture). If LO never gets that full posture, I think she is probably snacking and doing the paci between feeds and giving yourself an hour from end of one to start of the next should help.
And keep telling yourself: this is a phase! This too shall pass!
Hugs! -
Hugs!! And hang in there! Now at 7 months, I can look back and say that breastfeeding is easy from like 5 months on.
We actually used a nipple shield up till 6 months; my supply isn't good but I don't think the shield had anything to do with it. DD had bad latch, tongue tie, I had flat nipples... those early days were SO. HARD.
I totally agree that while labor/delivery was hard, it was a one time thing where as BF was all day everyday. Even after we got over the initial hump, we had bottle refusal, nursing strike, this & that..
And the stress of wanting to make sure she was eating, gaining weight, etc...
And then when I went back to work, stressed out about pumping...
It never ends, lol! But so worth it and thankful that I was able to EBF till 6 mo, and still give majority breastmilk now.
-
@LindsayInNY: something my midwife always did when I was struggling in the early days of motherhood was to remind me that my wee babe was only very young and we were both still learning! Both you and your wee girl are still learning the art of bf'ing and it WILL get easier as she gets bigger and gets the hang of it!
And something else to try is popping her down on a blanket on the floor while she's awake so she can "practice" being on her own and not in constant contact with your body. You might find that she's happy enough to be just chilling and watching the world go by which might give you 5-10 minutes of breathing space - hang in there!
-
@MamaCate: I can tell when LO is full only some of the time. Which likely means she's snacking the other times.
@Kemma: We've been doing more blanket time on the floor which she seems content with for a period of time. And I'm trying to get DH to get better at relieving me when he gets home or when were trying to get her to bed.
-
We were in the exact same situation and here was what happened with us:
1. I had an LC do a weighed feeding and then I bought my own cheap baby scale at BRU which was a sanity saver for sure! I had her come to our house about 4 times to help with latch etc. I really suggest the scale so that you can know if LO is getting enough. I doubt you have a supply issue, actually. Babies just comfort feed at that age and it doesn't mean you don't have enough.
2. I used a nipple shield for a couple of weeks because his mouth was small and his tongue was lazy so his latch was bad. It required very careful latch placement and mostly, just waiting until his mouth grew before the latch felt better.
3. BUT the nipple shield prevented him from emptying me completely and I ended up getting mastitis. THAT was terrible. So I weaned from the nipple shield by starting with it on and then pulling it off and relatching half-way through when he wasn't so aggressive anymore.
4. It really, really sucked for a while (6-8 weeks) but really and truly it eventually was really nice... I know it seems impossible to get there. But you can.
5. We used a pacifier early and it didn't mess with anything. It just was able to sooth my sucking monster. We also used the heck out of the swing. And the 5s Happiest Baby stuff worked great.I don't know if any of that helps, but girl, I've been there. I totally get it. You will be OK. But it sure is hard when you are in it.
-
I don't really have a lot of advice, but wanted to chime in to also say that I felt the same way in my LO's early days. I wish I had known so many other moms felt the same ways as me, because I thought it was just me that was clueless. I cried half the day and really had no idea how I could keep going, not just with nursing, but just surviving! Newborns are so hard and you are doing a GREAT job.
We had a rough start to BFing as well, in addition to constant cluster feeding, comfort nursing, etc etc. He also cried all of the time and never napped - he was only quiet when nursing, and this became a problem because he also started to fall asleep when nursing because he was so tired. It was around the 8-week mark for us when I suddenly realized things had gotten a lot better. BFing was easier, and we realized that we needed to use all 5 S's for naps. Swaddling him for naps was key, as was rocking him to sleep while holding him on his side and shushing. It would sometimes take 20-30 minutes to soothe him to sleep, but it worked and he started napping well. After a day or two of really good naps it seemed like we had finally broken the cycle of overtiredness (it's really hard to break because they're tired but can't sleep because they're too tired!!). I would definitely give the 5 S's a try if you haven't already. And just know you are not alone, you will make it through, and it will absolutely get better
My DS is 5 1/2 months now and I can't believe how much easier everything is!
I'm going to try getting her to nap in the carrier if that ends up helping. 
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
71 comments