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@Kemma: Thank you! I've just made contact with my local NCT (national childbirth trust) branch and attended a "preparing for birth after previous difficult delivery" group. The lady who runs it also runs breastfeeding groups and I told her about my experience - the stressful delivery, the lack of milk, the resultant PPD. She was so supportive and actually referred me to a specialist therapy team to talk through it all. I feel she will be there for me if I need her, along with the other mums I met (who were all BF toddlers on demand as we talked). I feel as though I already have a lot more IRL support this time around.
But, yeah, maybe a real LC might be a plan, given I never made a drop last time.
My new friend I just mentioned said she thinks I made milk last time because I had mastitis, I just couldn't get it to let down. She puts it down to bad anxiety, hence the referral to the specialist team.
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@Truth Bombs: I totally didn't mean that all newborns should autopilot latch and not need any help, sorry if it sounded that way! I just thought it was empowering that newborns could be capable of it, but I definitely think that most newborns do need help from us. Okay all of them! We just need to find out what needs help. It's learning for the whole team. I just want to send good breastfeeding juju and found the videoes inspiring and I think the fact that my LO could do it was luck since I had kind of eye rolled at the videos initially. Sorry for any miscommunication.
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So with my second I only bf for colostrum and pumped a few weeks and weaned that way, but on purpose for my health reasons. Ds was actually not a bad nurser and would actually latch on weeks later when I was coming to the end of pumping. I feel like a lot is just going to depend on baby. Dd could suck (and not gently either!) for hours from day one. It hurt sooooooo bad. Ds we had to wake up with cold wet towels to the face. Unfortunately it's kind of a wait and see thing. But we just went by every 2-3 hrs min. and other than that following his cues. Milk came in quicker than with my first and we only really went by diapers. I didn't keep as much of an eye on the other stuff because it would just stress me out.
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@2littlepumpkins: That's good for me to read - it might not just be what I did or didn't do, but E's own traits too.
This baby is going to breastfeed awesomely..... and float out of me on a gentle breeze!
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You are a rockstar for being so brave and determined!
There were LCs at my hospital and it was "baby friendly" too but I still got some bad advice. Next time I am going to find a LC that is experienced with supply issues, make a plan in advance, and have her visit us in the hospital. Formula costs thousands of dollars over the first year of a baby's life so it is a worthwhile investment!
Other than that, my plan for next time is skin to skin and lots of nursing right away. I had a C-section so I didn't get to try to nurse for a few hours. I hope to have a VBAC or nurse in the operating room if I have a RCS. I am going to ask for a pump and pump every 2 hours if the baby doesn't want to nurse and feed colostrum with a syringe or spoon. And if we need to supplement, I will use a SNS to supplement at the breast.
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Here's my experience:
I had a longish labor (18 hours w/ 2 hours of pushing) she was born at 11:23pm we did skin to skin and without help from me or a nurse she managed to latch and nurse for a good 45min in the delivery room. By about 1:30am we were moved to a reg room and we were all exhausted. Baby and I slept until about 5am, when we started trying to breastfeed again. I didn't have much luck on my own, she was very sleepy, and I was afraid I was holding her wrong and was going to hurt her. I met with the LC, our ped, and finally the night nurse was able to really help me. The 2nd night I was on my own (hubs slept at home) and she would not settle or let me put her down. I had them take her to the nursery for a few hours so I could sleep and ok'd pacifier use but to bring her when it was time to feed. they woke me up about 4:30am to nurse. the next day was discharge day and we did ok until it was time to go to bed. And again she just would not settle, I was so swollen and i couldnt stand any more to rock her. we kept trying to nurse but it wasnt doing it. Looking back, I think she was hungry and we should have given her some formula, the very next day my milk was in and things went a lot smoother. When i do this whole thing again, I plan on lining up an LC visit as soon as we get home and look for ways to boost my supply from the beginning. (I could never pump enough to satisfy her when i was at work). I also like others said will be more willing to give a bottle of formula if my milk takes awhile. -
So sorry to hear you had such an unhelpful experience!
If you are worried about latch in particular, maybe it would be helpful for you to watch some latch u-tube videos ahead of time? Your husband could also watch, so that you would have a second person to help you evaluate the latch.
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My hospital has a breastfeeding video series for free. It's full of useful info and if you can't get to an actual class, this is very helpful.
http://www.lcmh.org/index.cfm?pageID=764 -
Aw! That sounds like a horrible experience! Shame on those midwives for not being more helpful! I read The nursing Mother's Companion and took a breastfeeding class. None of the info presented was really rocket science, but I think it helped give me confidence and feel prepared. Honestly, the most important thing seemed to be to try to shove as much boob as possible into the baby's mouth to get a deep latch! That and breastfeed all the freaking time in the beginning. Watch some youtube videos - i found having visuals about how it's supposed to look really helped.
For us, I only got a few minutes of skin to skin before they took my son because he wasn't breathing as well as they would like. When he was returned to me (about 30 minutes) I tried to nurse but he wasn't really taking to it and they told me he was still struggling a bit with breathing, so to hold off on trying to breastfeed. So I tried in another 30 minutes (so 1 hour after birth) and he latched on great. I don't know that he really got anything, but he sucked and it didn't hurt too much and then he fell asleep. For the next several days I nursed him pretty much whenever he woke up (about every 2 hours). If he was still asleep at 3 hours (from the beginning of the previous feed) then I'd wake him up to feed.
I think you are absolutely right to push for support and if you aren't getting it, try on your own until you get help. Really, I don't think there's any harm in trying breastfeeding pretty much right after birth. If there's an issue, they'll stop you like they did with me. But then keep asking when you can try again. And ask for a lactation consultant or if the nurses or midwives could see if your latch looks good. Even if it doesn't seem like anything is coming out, keep trying!
And absolutely nurse whenever you want and don't pay any mind to who may be around. Seriously. You're on a freaking maternity floor. And don't bother with a cover. In the beginning it really helps to have a good view of what you're doing so that you can try to make sure you're keeping a good latch. Hell, have your husband watch and help if needed!
And, finally, as difficult as it may be, try not to stress about it. Because that just makes it harder on everyone. Be confident that in your little babe that it's going to work. And it's okay if it doesn't work right away. Just keep trying. And give your midwives a kick in the pants!
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@Cherrybee: no advice, but good luck!
I hope things work out really well for you this time.
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@Cherrybee: I liked Dr. Jack Newman's breastfeeding video, if you are interested.
I also took a breastfeeding class!
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I'm so glad you found a supportive group! This is going to sound a little woo woo hippy dippy, but if the problem is more anxiety and let down and less supply, try Bach's Rescue Remedy. I used it when DS was in the NICU and there was a clear difference on the days my anxiety was fine so I didn't take any. Once I realized I started taking it before pumping. Worth a shot? A bottle is about $20.
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Oh and if baby keeps nursing and nursing and is all frustrated at first, don't get discouraged! That was my first big mistake with DS - he kept nursing and crying, so I took him to the nursery to ask what they think is wrong, and they "helpfully" gave him a bottle of formula. This was just one of many ways I messed up, but it sure didn't help. With DD I stuck through two days of her nursing non stop and crying in frustration, and I was almost crying with her, but it was so worth it because we got a proper milk supply going!
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@Mama Bird: Oh, I don't know if I can do that.
I will be on a ward with 5 other ladies and their babies. One baby crying non stop ruins everyone's stay.... and that's the sort of thing I get anxiety about. In fact, I get anxiety about babies crying in general, but in public - agh! Just writing this is bringing up memories of how guilty I used to feel, and how stupid, for shoving my boob in her face when that clearly wasn't working (we are talking day 1 here!). There was an easy way to fix the problem - give her a bottle - but I was too pig headed and too obsessed with my own selfish wants (to BF) that I was willing to let my baby be distressed. Its great that I have remembered this because it gives me something to work on.
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I tried to nurse right away, but DS was too sleepy. Every nurse who came in tried to help. I offered at least every 3 hours, with little success. After 24 hours, I was able to see a lactation consultant, who helped us achieve a good latch. Nursing was pretty hit or miss until my milk came in after about 60 hours. We did a lot of hit skin to skin in the meantime. I never needed to supplement, and DS never had weight problems.
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Yikes! I'm really sorry to read about your experience
. I haven't had a chance to read the other responses but immediate skin to skin is SO important, as well as latch attempts. I recently read a study where immediate skin to skin vs >6 hours after birth resulted in 3x more milk production (!!!)I would come up with a plan about immediate skin to skin and don't let anyone take her away or bathe her. With my first and second, they were both born in the evening and I kept them skin to skin and in bed with me at the hospital overnight (they were both born in the evening/night and I was discharged in the morning). I put them to the breast whenever they made a peep (pretty much hours straight that first night).
Make sure you arm yourself with a good plan and surround yourself with supportive people. Also, get yourself some good nipple cream!! Those first few days are tough but SO worth it!
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@Cherrybee: I found that I was so much more relaxed with Felix so he was more relaxed because he wasn't feeling my tension which made everybody happier! I didn't worry about making him sleep in his hospital bassinet and I think I held him most of the time we were in hospital
You might also want to look into antenatal expressing, I started hand expressing colostrum at 35 weeks and had 25mL frozen into 3-5mL syringes by the time I went into labour. My milk took almost a week to come in with Alexis and it was a great comfort knowing I had something to give Felix if he needed it (especially with his blood sugars and my GD).
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@Mama Bird: that was my experience too, and this awful nurse told me I was trying too long and made me pump bottle formula. This time I hope to just follow my own intuition even if baby wants to nurse nonstop, that's what some newborns do.
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I think the best thing for me was going home as early as I could. I spend about 36 hours in hospital after the birth, got advice from probably 6 different nurses/LCs and it was all conflicting - some were telling me the latch we had was great, others were saying it was terrible, some were encouraging formula and others talking about it as if it were poison. Once I was home, first of all I was more comfortable and second of all I had enlisted the help of two close friends who had had good BF relationships with their children to come watch me a couple of times, and share their experiences with me. In hospital, in those 36 hours, we didn't get many successful feeds but he was on the breast pretty frequently. Once we were home he went into feeding frenzy mode and was at the breast at least once every 2 hours, usually more, but I spoke to my friends about it (they were cool with all-hours-of-the-night texts as they had little ones feeding through the night too) and they reassured me it was normal.
Most of all I think you have to try to trust your instincts, despite the negative experience you had before. Every baby and every breastfeeding journey is different, and your previous experience has no bearing on your upcoming one, unless of course there is a firm medical reason why your milk production was so low - in which case I would see an obstetrician before and after birth for support and possible intervention (motilum).
Best of luck!!!
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@Cherrybee: oh my yes! That was the main reason I couldn't deal with DS crying... my gut was telling me it's nothing serious but I had a neighbor and her baby was in the nursery and I felt so awful we were keeping her up at night
I still have major guilt about trying to nurse him too, my supply was messed up from the start and he was kind of hungry for a month until we started supplementing. But in the long run, they're all right and we should not be so hard on ourselves.
My new friend I just mentioned said she thinks I made milk last time because I had mastitis, I just couldn't get it to let down. She puts it down to bad anxiety, hence the referral to the specialist team.
I hope things work out really well for you this time.
I will be on a ward with 5 other ladies and their babies. One baby crying non stop ruins everyone's stay.... and that's the sort of thing I get anxiety about. In fact, I get anxiety about babies crying in general, but in public - agh! 
. I haven't had a chance to read the other responses but immediate skin to skin is SO important, as well as latch attempts. I recently read a study where immediate skin to skin vs >6 hours after birth resulted in 3x more milk production (!!!)
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