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@mrs. bird: I think personally I'd go with the amazing female dr. that you'd feel more comfortable with. I think once you're preggo you transfer to an ob/gyn anyway, so you could move hospitals then if you wanted to.

Out of curiosity, want to share the female dr's name? I'm from MA too and in the market for an RE. You can write it on my wall, but I totally get it if you want to keep it anonymous. Good luck!

Hmmmm, tough call...My RE is a guy but so is my GYN/OB (is it weird that that never bothered me?) I will say that based on how many times you have to go during any sort of medicated cycle, convenience is a fairly big factor but if you think you will be uncomfortable with the guy and can afford to pay extra, I guess you should go with the lady?

@mrs. bird: thank you!

Well, I used to be weird about seeing male doctors for this kind of stuff. My OB is a female. But then the emergency room doctor who handled my m/c was a male ER doc. Then my RE was a male. There were only males there and he was the best of the best. Then my perinatologist ended up being a male (and he's director of the whole unit). And he was all up in my business this week. I find that the super-specialists tend to be a man more often than a woman. It was just something that i said, "this guy knows his shit, whatever" and the ones i have seen have had THE BEST bedside manner and have made me SO uncomfortable. It's like they work extra hard to make you comfortable. They see women all the time that have issues. I dunno, I got all worked up for nothing! What if you end up with a male that delivers your baby? It's not ideal, but it does happen!

I'd see the best doctor with the best results, period.

(eta: when i originally saw an RE, i saw someone a friend of mine saw for her IVF. She said he was amazing and raved about him. I didn't even look around, I just went off her word. He was in my insurance, too. Most RE offices will offer you a free consult and they'll talk about their IVF and IUI costs with you. Every clinic is different since fertility treatments are primarily out of pocket in most states)

Are you able to define how the male doctor is "good" whereas the female doctor is "amazing"? Like is it just a reputation that they have, or do you know that one doctor definitely gets better results than the other? If you have some way of knowing that the female doctor is more likely to be successful, it's probably worth the money to work with her. Cheaper is not necessarily a bargain if you're paying it longer and not getting the results you want. But if it's just reputation, it's worth figuring out why they have those reputations!

Tough choice, but I would go more with weighing their success rates (based on results) and costs. And as others have said, success can trump initial costs especially if one doc can get to the issue more quickly for you.

@mrs. bird: I prefer female doctors myself. I just feel more comfortable with them and have had better experiences with a female doctor.

I only had my first RE appointment yesterday, but I can already tell it's not only about finding the right RE, it's also about the nurse, the staff, etc. I went in yesterday telling myself that if I didn't feel comfortable, I'll find another doctor. I'm glad I felt comfortable, and I already like the people I've been dealing with. I don't think I will see the doctor often. I saw her yesterday, and now the testing begins and I won't see her again for over a month. But I will be interacting with all sorts of new people. So far everyone has been a woman.

I know that money, insurance, results, etc. are all good things to consider. But for me, being comfortable is just as important.

you know people who know this guy? That would be the selling point for me if they had great things to say about him

Very much so.

You do get over the fact he's a man pretty quickly. Promise!

@mrs bird: My husband and I ended up having to go to two clinics due to the fact that we moved across country while still trying to conceive. The first practice we went to we had a female RE who was really lovely and I chose her because of reputation and much like you I was at that point more comfortable with a female dr. I quickly learned that although we saw her 75% of the time, we also ended up seeing her colleagues as well who were male dr's. We were given great care by everyone we saw at her practice and I quickly got over the fact that I was seeing a male dr, all we cared about was the fact that we were successful in our pursuit. Fast forward to a move across country, another clinic with all male RE's with the best results in the Philadelphia area. We were pregnant within 5 cycles and are expecting in January! In the end, it's the result that matters and you will get over the initial reservations about your doctor quickly.